Bipolar Check-in #74

My moods have been pretty stable since getting my hystrectomy in 2021. It sucks that doctors will most of the time flat out refuse to do one on anyone besides tran men or older women. It can really really save your mental health among other issues.

Just a really hard day today both physically and mentally.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is better !

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One year ago today i realized i was hypomanic. This year, nothing. So that's good but i'm wrestling with mild depression and boredom. I watched "A Man Called Otto" and thought it was just okay. It didn't really move me.

It's so hard to tell and so frustrating isn't it? A year ago in January I got depressed. By the beginning of April I was fine on my elevated dose of AD and I was back to my normal AD dose by June. This year I had a much worse depression starting almost to the day and at the end of April I'm still fighting to get better although I am improving slowly but surely. Usually I have hypomania in between late June and late August; that's not happened for several years.

It would be nice if there were some kind of test strip to use daily to tell us what is going on or something like a continuous glucose monitor only for moods.

I'm glad you are feeling relatively well.

@Pinny - I hear you. I feel tired all the time. I know it's because I'm so anxious. Anxiety is such a part of my mind that I don't even "feel" it anymore except if there's a lapse where I do yoga or meditation and then I feel the exhaustion from always being on edge.

Hugs for all who are tired or feeling low or stressed/anxious.

Money is always a worry for us. I really wish it wasn't. Food prices have gone up so much and it's scary. I definitely worry about the future - I've lived in poverty most of my life and I'm really hoping to not be poor when I'm elderly. I've decided I cannot return to my call-center job when my disability leave is over, which means I will have to find another job and/or take training. The training program I'm considering costs $4K plus I would have to survive for the 10 months it takes to complete it full-time. But I really can't see any other way to get into another field.

Hello. I am brand new here. I have bipolar too. My therapist cancelled a phone appointment with me today. I was holding on to so many things I wanted to get support for this week. Its may 8 before they could work me back in. Bother. I have been looking for support groups to fill the void and stumbled across this place. Nice to meet everybody.

Can't catch a break. Hoping for good news next week or we're ****ed. I have to remain under control. I hope this doesn't bring on an episode. I'm so scared. Like I did something wrong when I didn't. I wish things were easier. H says I'm worried prematurely. I don't deal with uncertainty well. Sorry so cryptic but any good thoughts please. It's nothing life threatening just negatively life changing. With a small possibility it'll be positively be life changing.

I hope that tomorrow is better for you.((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

All the best @Miguel’smom with what’s going on for you

So I’ve recovered a little from my upset. I got so tired after the talk I went to bed at 6:30/7pm, it’s now 4:30am. But I’m able to sleep more. It’s totally my anxiety levels that wear me out.

I’m just worried because I always sleep more when I have a depressive relapse but I think I’m ok for now.

My anxiety is so bad just now around work stuff, it’s paralysing at times. Like I have sooo much work to do.
I’ll see what I can get done in the morning!

Night night

MM, I hope things work out for you.

Today was a pretty good day! First up, my federal refund finally came! Having that financial security (for a little while, at least) takes off quite a bit of stress over being laid up. My state refund is being held up for extra scrutiny, possibly for up to three months, but happily, the majority of the money coming back is in my federal refund.

My mom came by. She was taking her dog Buddy to the vet for a check up and some shots. He's an old guy at 15, but Buddy is one of those dogs that doesn't look his age. Still spry to the point I seriously had someone think he was a pup. A testament to how well my parents take care of him.

Although, to toot my own horn a bit, my cat Sophie is not far behind (She'll be 13 in a month.) and I've yet to see her age catch up with her.

I had a fun end to my night. My small town has a drive-in and they started their season tonight. They opened with "Twister." It was fun. I'm trying to get my mom to come with next week when they air "American Graffiti." Fun fact: "American Graffiti" was one of George Lucas' first films.

Anyhow, lazy weekend ahead!

Hey @jiggleypuff22 welcome!

I’m sorry your therapist cancelled on you. I hope you find what you need from this forum!

I saw someone speak about Meet up in another post and I hadn’t been on it for years, so I checked it out. I might join a meet up near me, but I’m still a bit nervous.
I want to meet more people where I live but I don’t live in the city so it can be quite difficult.

I know there are dating apps to meet people as friends but I’ve had a negative experience with one of those so I don’t want to do that.

I just want to make friends. Hopefully when I transfer my work to nearer where I live there will be people I meet there. (I’m currently working in my old city still).

I’m quite a social person but it takes it out of me. I relate when people refer to themselves as an extroverted introvert
I’m an introvert at heart but I do enjoy and need to socialise to stay well otherwise I just get inside my own head too much.
It helps me to have very close friends but they all live around the world- literally! So we message and video chat. Time difference is a pain though.

Anyway, I hope you’re all well! Lots of hugs

@jiggleypuff22:

Welcome to the forum!

Welcome @jiggleypuff22

jiggleypuff!

Hi all, It is a bit difficult to write because my PC has got a hick up. It is very hot here. For all that it is worth, I have tried the weather conditions here, for almost two weeks. My family and I have discussed the opertunity for me to move into this part of EU now that I have become older. Every person inside EU can move to another country in the Union, but the rules for what to pay out of one's own pockest varies, from country to country with regard to how much one has to pay when sick and for medication. How easy it is to get more support when one ages is different as well.


There are always some "home-groups" for people from different countries in each EU country. The possibility to become totally lonesome is minimal, but of course there is no garantie that one will be integreated as a real friend.


I think I will have it best at home even if we have these cold winters. It was the hard winter + depression that made me reconsider moving .

So in 1 1/2 week I will be home again. Believe it or not, I look forward to it. I think my depression is under control now. I will have to use my tools of course, but I hope to manage when I am home again!

May you all expereince some "good energy" to help you in your daily struggles!

PS. Please excuse any spelling mistakes.

Welcome @jiggleypuff22!

Have you looked at NAMI and DBSA for in-person groups? I've had good experiences with both although I couldn't keep up because they were too far away to go regularly.

I'm getting my iPad repaired! It hasn't worked in a year and I've been putting off getting it fixed. But it's in the shop now and I should have it back in a week!

The SH thoughts are so much better. They're still there but not as strong as before and I'm not looking for opportunities.

Still having the tactile hallucinations but I'm learning to live with them. They feel like spider webs on my skin, it's really strange.

I'm back on Klonopin, that's med #5. I know there are some on more than that here but it's a big deal to me.

No word on the IOP yet but I think that's probably a couple of weeks away.

I can't tell if things are better physically or worse but are better because I increased my pepcid. I've been taking my prescribed one at night and then an OTC one in the morning since my heartburn got worse and I needed extra stuff. But I feel better now so idk.

I had a Mountain Dew last night for the first time in awhile and it messed with my anxiety real bad. I needed to quit Mountain Dew to see an improvement in my anxiety and it really, really, helped but this was a new flavor and yeah it didn't agree with me. It wasn't until about 10 this morning that the anxiety went away and now I'm ok.

I did some spring cleaning last night and this morning. I tackled my storage rack I use as a pantry and got it majorly cleaned up and organized. It was a huge stressful mess but now its organized and neat. I got the freezer done this morning. That pretty much was just taking the one or 2 Uncrustables left from each box and throwing the boxes away and reorganzing other things. Now that is taken care of too. So I got 2 stressful tasks done. I still have the fridge to do which I'll probably save for Monday since I have to do laundry tommorow.

Had a paper making class this morning. Was fun. I’m running into people from the senior center every time I go out. That’s both ok and awkward. Awkward because I’m terrible at small talk. And nice cause I’m getting to know people here. There’s 25,000 people but the events I go to are geared towards older folks and art, so the same people. Librarian events, senior events, artwork events and the Y. I used to let my deafness stop me from going places but now that I’m a senior there’s others who have hearing aids too and can’t hear well, but I’ve one up on them, I can read lips! I’m so glad my town has an artwork center. It’s great.

@jiggleypuff22, welcome to the forum! We are a community here. We always enjoy newcomers. I hope when you do see your therapist that it makes up for the delay.

I second the suggestion to also look for a DBSA or NAMI group near you, or the equivalent if you're outside the US. The former even has online meetings.

@Rosi700, I'm glad you look forward to getting home. Thanks for sharing what you did about moving within the EU. I'm not quite sure what "home groups". Can you explain?

I'm at a laundromat as I type this. After days of heavy work in my dad's house with Sis (and today also nephew) many of my clothes were sweaty. Plus, I packed more warm weather clothes than cool. It's been chillier and rainier than expected.

The labor is clearly a bit much for Sis. I feel bad for that. Tomorrow will be rough, too, but then we'll have a little break. She was struggling to walk on her injured heel by the end, and I don't think she's used to such labor. I'm fine, in that respect, being almost seven years younger, thinner, and frankly, used to the labor of moving and cleaning. What I am bothered by is the extreme pollen outside and breathing in of dust and other hazardous stuff in the filthy house. She refuses to wear a mask, but I must for much of the time. I also had to push her hard to even wear gloves. I also wear glasses. She won't. And still my lungs feel negatively affected.

My hair is wet after a long shower, but I don't care despite being at the laundromat.

Hubby arrives Monday night. I can't wait!

Was wondering how it was going. Sounds like hard work but progress is being made. So glad your hubby is arriving soon. That will be a help.