Bipolar Check-in #74

My rosacea has flared up and I feel horrible about my face.

We made it back from Florida! I am SO thankful to be back in my own home. My kitty Cheeto missed me, he’s been all over me since we got back. Unfortunately he’s shedding horribly and I lost his brush so he’s covering me in hair! Small price to pay for some kitty love.

I did enjoy myself but a week is too long for me. And I’m done with planes for awhile. I’m hoping to convince RS to rent a cabin at a lake next summer in upstate NY. I used to go to lake George with my family when I was young and those were my favorite vacations. That will have to be summer though, it will be too cold over spring break for sure.

My anxiety is still overwhelming. I have a pdoc appt tomorrow and therapy Tuesday and I hope to get some solutions. Or at least a way to deal with it until it passes. I took .25mg of Xanax before I got on the plane and I’ve felt so calm all day. I’m not even fidgeting. But I don’t want to get addicted, even physically. So it would only be for panic attacks. Safety statements worked temporarily but paced breathing isn’t working this time around. But I’m also back with my coloring books and we found an awesome series on Netflix called moving art. It’s a nature documentary series but it’s just scenes of nature set to relaxing music, no speaking. Also no violent scenes of animals eating each other! Each episode is a different location or a different theme. We just finished the underwater episode, so many beautiful fish!

My private school
Loan will be impossible
To pay off. Ugh. $387 a month!

There’s no way I can
So that. I am
Hoping I can get the help from
Voc rehab and maybe a
Scholarship or two so I won’t have to borrow as much!

I don’t really know what I’m doing

I didn't care and I took a chewable pepcid. My heartburn is so bad I am worried about what its doing to my throat and my stomach lining. At least I have relief now.

It was another Summerlike day here but my concern over (hypo)mania has evaporated as i got almost nothing done today. I'm reading a tame pop fiction book. It's the first new book i've read in years. I'm hoping to get back to reading.

Hugs to all who struggle!

acne kind I have that too. so hard to get thru it did you see the dermatologist. I use benzol peroxide to keep the acne at bay.
sorry for the out break.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

do you take a regular med like pepsid or zantac daily to
prevent heart burn?
if you have heart burn on a regular basis you
could be damaging your esophagus. since I have

been taking generic pepsid twice a day. I have not had any heart burn!!!!!
bizi

I take it you have an orange kitty? lol

That's cool about the Netflix show - will look for that.. Not sure if they have it in Canada but I subscribe to Netflix

I'm trying to get back to reading too.


I recommend Matt Haig. His book Humans is enjoyable and a bit funny in places.

I hope you can get some money so you don't have to borrow as much - but if your education will likely get you a good job, $387 a month might not be that bad. It also will very much depend on the cost of your other expenses. We lived in a basement suite for years until our student loans were paid. Our rent was just $600 a month so it was worth it.

Thanks I’m trying

There was another
Shooting tonight. 6 people
Hit-2 dead.

This world
Is scary. Suspect is
At large

Was this the one in Dadeville? 4 dead. Or is the Dadeville one new?


How sad that we have to ask because two mass shootings happen so close together.

Haha is it that obvious my son named our cats when we got them, he was six so the orange one is Cheeto and the gray one is Ash.

[QUOTE=Samicat;7325250]Was this the one in Dadeville? 4 dead. Or is the Dadeville one new?


How sad that we have to ask because two mass shootings happen so close together.[/QUOTE

This was in Louisville
Ky

Oh my gosh, I'm reading so much....gotta cool it a bit!

I started and finished Stephen King's 11/22/63, its a love story centered on the Kenedy Assassination and a story of second chances. I liked the book very much - it wasn't a horror story at all and well written. I really like the story's architecture and the attention to detail. There is some graphic violence in it but it's a necessary part of the story.

I'm starting "Under the Dome" - I'll try to read this one more slowly.

Still feeling low and my anxiety is up. Got my refills so I'm good for another month; I see my pdoc in 9 days.

My brother now has pneumonia on top of all of his cancer. He's so weak that he cannot even sit up. Some of his ribs are broken (the cancer spread there, too, as well as other places).

Yesterday my sister sent me a lot of wonderful photos of our dad. I'm so grateful she did! The whole continuing stress with the move and our brother's extreme sickness had sort of put grieving our father on the back burner. How horrible! We loved our dad and the memories brought back by the photos showed how much of a generous, sympatique, loving, and fun man he was. An outstanding and enthusiastic storyteller, too! He understood anxiety and a mood disorder like the rest of us, yet he strove hard to get through and past hard times, and make the most of good ones.

A couple times this week, Hubby and I went out to explore the area and have lunch. We did so today, too. We visited one of the oldest monasteries in Czech Republic. It was a serene place.

You’re going though so much.

Wish I knew how to post pictures. I’m very proud of how my glass mosaic turned out. It was a three day workshop. I was the only one to bring my own drawing so I’m especially thrilled it turned out.

I’m feeling apart from others though everyone was nice. I’m just feeling alone and self couscous.so I’m glad I pushed myself to go. It was really hard on my back being bent over a table and the standing I had to do, but I persevered. My reward is a nice little mosaic of the north woods. Fits in well with my oil painting.

We financed 80K over a 30 year note it was smaller than a house note but manageable.
Is that what you figured it on?
bizi

Do you click the "Go Advanced" button under the response box? When you do, scroll down and look for Attach Files/Manage Attachments, under the "Additional Files" (blue bar). Then click the "Choose File" button. You'll have the choose of what directory or folder to get the photo from (remember where you saved it). Or, if doing this on your smart phone, you have the option to take the photo at that time and upload. Or, you can pull a saved picture file from one of your phone's storage folders. Once you've clicked the photo file, click the "Upload" button to the right of what you see on the MSF page. When done, you can close the window and submit the post with the photo attachment.

Note: There are photo size limitations here. If your photo is too large, it won't upload. You'd need to decrease its size through your photo editor and then try again.

I'm glad you got the lovely mosiac.

At my last pdoc appointment he lowered my seroquel dose to 100mg and my loxapine dose has increased.

Can't say I feel better, but at least I'm not paranoid.

The only problem I'm having, and I blame the loxapine increase, is writer's block!!!! It's so frustrating. I'm thinking about asking if we can lower my loxapine dose again. This is not working out for me.

That’s all alien to me! I’m on a iPad and don’t know how to get from one screen to another without closing things. Whenever I need to print I go to the library and they help me. I could post pictures back when I had a computer but now,…tech freaks me out.

Off all the things for my surgeon to mess up, he had to damage the nerve that controls my tongue's sense of touch, taste and saliva production! Anything I try to eat solid food wise becomes dry and tasteless on the tongue. Basically inedible. Now add in a tender stomach with GERD being activated by the hiccup nerve. Stomach acid triggers that nerve everytime anything resembling acid reflux occurs. Obvious pain and nausea that I can't treat because the nausea pill (that's supposed to dissolve on your tongue) has no saliva to dissolve with.

The actual incision seems to be healing nicely. I just wish I wasn't dealing with a "whoopsy" on the doctor's part!

I am sorry to hear this, Aurelius!