Bipolar Check-in #75

Nammu your Doctor sounds like a major jerk. Can you look for mother one?

Wild hang in there hun

Soupe .. thinking if you

Hugs to everyone !

~~~~~

I’m just in a holding pattern. My nerves are wearing really thin with all this physical pain.

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Yeah, he is a major jerk, he turned his back on me to talk to the interpreter sometimes blocking my vision! Unfortunately there’s not much choice. The only other available person is a nurse.

I was just perusing my labs. My white blood cells have been high for the last three times of blood labs! My iron goes up and down. Guess I need to keep an eye on it.

Back to depressed. Oh how I wish I could find stability again. I only took 5mg of lexapro today because of the mixed episode I seemed to be going into. I might as well just drop it. 5mg does nothing and 10mg is too much. Idk why he won’t give me Emsam. He’d rather me do ECT than just give me a drug I know will work. It’s frustrating. He’s a nice enough guy it’s just clear that he’s not going to trust my own judgment of myself and meds.

I’m hanging all my hopes on ECT at the moment. It’s worked so well in the past. Maybe if I think more positive it will help. Because let me tell you, my thoughts are not at all positive at the moment.

I left work early AGAIN. They know I have medical problems (they don’t know it’s a mental illness) but I can’t just take off whenever I want without a dr note. I don’t know how many more years I’m going to be able to work full time. I guess it doesn’t help to think about, really.

I did get six months of stability last year into this year. I’ll get back to that again, I hope.

Hey there - I'm a writer too! Five chapters in (with several written that I'm having to move later in the book). My book is a general fiction/mainstream novel with a speculative element (Fantasy). Would love to hear more about yours.

And I hope they don't restrict gabapentin. I don't know why they would do that.

My heart goes out to you. My illness has always been a problem with taking "too many" sick days etc with my previous employer. To them, four occurrences per YEAR was too much.


I hope the ECT works for you, but I think maybe you should find a doctor who will give you the Emsam. Especially if it worked before. I'm sure you already know that you need a "wash out" period of 14 days between taking a SSRI and a MAO inhibitor.

Is THC legal where you live?

I'm so excited guys! I bought an E-BIKE today!!!

A major frustration in our new city has been that we don't have a vehicle and it's not very pedestrian-friendly so we haven't explored much. We won't be able to afford a car until spring. So - this will help me find out where everything is and give me some fun and exercise. Unfortunately my husband can't ride a bike due to his vision, and we tried a tandem but they are not designed for the woman to ride in front, and also my husband didn't feel secure. So anyway... introducing my new toy:

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/02...g?v=1679328749

It's a folding bike so I can easily store it and take it into places thus avoid bike theft.

I had an e-bike before years ago and they are a lot of fun. The motor really helps in a hilly environment like my current city, and you still get plenty of exercise. In fact studies show e-bikes get used more and therefore they tend to produce higher levels of fitness.

Took my new bike out for a ride. It was great fun! I rode for miles and came home drenched with sweat even though it's cool and overcast here. I kept the power-assist on the lowest level (which basically compensates for the weight of the bike) except when cycling uphill. The bike also has a throttle to give a burst of speed which is great for safety.

The only hard part was getting it up the stairs when I came home. That sucker is heavy. Oh well I will get muscles.

Just had a shower and feel happy! I forgot how good intense exercise is for lifting depression.

Oh and I found out how to attach the photo without a link (you can click to see it bigger)

Ok so sorry for all the posts but this is funny - I now have a "ring of fire" on my butt and inner thighs in the shape of a bicycle seat. Like literally the skin is swollen, itchy, red and sore.

SO itchy. Even though I took a shower right after getting home. I guess this is "saddle sore."

Please don’t apologise for posting @Samicat

That sounds amazing!!’ Well done for going out for such a long and intense bike ride! That’s brilliant you’ve just thrown yourself into it!

I’m sorry about the “ring of fire” though…

What an idiot ...

Some doctors are so inside their own head only; and forget to listen to the patient's experiences.

Hope ECT helps!

Yes, physcal exercises (in this or that way) can have an antidepressant effect!

I got burned by the sun yesterday. Will stay inside most of this day to shield my skin.

Ah I hope it’s not too bad @Rosi700

I’m working tonight so I’m going to try and get some sleep this afternoon!

But hopefully it will be ok.

Other than that I’m just going to try and get through the next couple of nights then I have a trip for a conference next week then I’m going to stay at my friend’s in London for the weekend!
I’m really looking forward to seeing her! We’re very good friends.

I think I’ve been doing ok lately. I seem to have come through what I thought was a mood dip. But I’m still very tired and worried about it.

I haven’t got a new pdoc sorted yet but I will do. It’s just because I moved house so I need to get a new one.

I hope you all have a lovely day today

Happy Derby day y’all! Love from Kentucky!

Some stress has seemingly eased, but is far from gone for me. Yesterday Hubby and I met with the first real estate agent in regards to my dad's properties. She left a very good impression and was quite helpful. And we've dealt with several over the last three years! I wish my sister had joined the meeting. I hope she will meet her during a second. Sis has less experience with all of this than me.

We have another real estate agent lined up to meet next Wednesday. I put it off until then because Tuesday we attend both my father's and brother's simultaneous funerals and reception. At this stage, I just wanted to know what's worth doing to the place and what's not. Also, questions about getting property value assessments.

I hate looking for new psychiatrists. This one was found for me by my social worker in IP. Maybe when I get out of this episode I’ll feel up to looking for one.

THC is legal but idk what it’s all about. I’ve only smoked twice in my life and I didn’t enjoy it. I don’t really want to get high but I know it’s possible to just get a little bit without getting high. I gotta talk to my coworker, there’s a dispensary where she lives and she knows a lot about it.

RS wants to go to a truck show down at the shore and he’s convinced me to come with him with CR. He’s going to drop us off at the arcade that’s there and then go to the truck show for an hour. I’m only going because he hasn’t been to a truck show in ages (obviously there aren’t many in winter) and he won’t leave me here alone while he’s so far away. Not in my current state. But we just went to the convenience store for breakfast and I got overwhelmed by the amount of people there so this is going to be hard.

At least it’s a beautiful day. It’s finally warming up to 70 today. It’s been in the fifties and raining since last Friday.

I’m exhausted from the seroquel. They always say I’ll get used to the higher dose but so far, no go. I slept 11 hours and I could still go back to sleep. And my pdoc suggested a higher dose last time if lexapro doesn’t work! I have to tell him there’s no way. I can do seroquel XR at higher doses but not the IR.

Hi! I'm so excited to meet a fellow writer! I'm only at the beginning of my novel. About 10,000 words in at last check, though I do have about ten pages I need to type out yet (I write longhand, then type). My novel is sorta a dark magic realism.

Do you have to fight the hypomania when you're really into a project? I've been fighting the hypo! Had to take seroquel to sleep last night, on top of my loxapine, which normally makes me tired. Wanted to write all night long! I also just finished a short story, which is horror.

Do you write short fiction too?

I also have two books that are self-published. Do you have any? Would love to read some of your work!

Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

I’m still sleeping beside mom almost a year after brother’s passing. I know it comforts her. Last night, she had the tv blaring ALL night long as she is hard of hearing. I slept poorly and am just tired and crabby today. I’ve got lots to do today and I’m really dragging. Starting tonight, I’m going back to my own bedroom. She’s got her terrier that sleeps with and snuggles up with her. I feel mean and selfish but I’m desperate for consistent adequate sleep. It’s been a long, sleep deprived year.

Today is my daughter’s birthday. I won’t get to see her until the 20th when we’ll celebrate my birthday, her birthday, mom’s birthday and Mother’s Day. Next Sunday, my niece graduates from college so that day will be about her.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

No, it is not so bad. I have put talc powder on. I used sun factor 50, but may be I was in the sun for a too long time.

I had a good night of sleep. Went to bed at ten and didn't wake up until 6:30AM. Thanks seroquel!

I've been writing like a mad woman!!!

Be careful! Often tiredness alone is a sign of depression. (I mean that it is wise to keep it in mind, not that you shall look after every detail that can remind you of depression).

Wish you a good time in London!