[insideoutsider]

Hi everyone,

It's a bit confusing for myself, when it is unclear what traits of mine are from what I know I am afflicted with (bipolar and substance abuse disorders) verses other natural and nurture traits.

I do not recall being as impulsive before I was diagnosed. I don't really recall any troubling afflictions aside from the what I believe to be somewhat common traits of childhood angst.

I am trying to isolate variables in my mind to figure out what strengths I have and more abstractly, where I fit in to the world..

Frankly, I have been reading on empathy. I know that it's not always my default response, and it often takes some thought to navigate. I do not have a benchmark for others however, all I can definitivly know is that it just doesn't look like what others look like. But looks and feelings are different.. so I guess no one will really know.

Anyway, it's not so much an issue as I have been blessed with the ability to learn about social situations and human nature, and appreciate perspectives of others.

I have read things like, those with more empathy exhibit more self control, which is another reason why I ask the question. I don't fully understand why that is. I don't believe I empathize as well as say my sister, and I am more impulsive, but again, I can't really know how much of my impulsivity is from lack of empathy vs bipolar on its own, as those two things aren't necessarily related, as far as I know.

[unaluna]

Interesting question. Maybe impulsivity and empathy are both related to what dr phil calls "the ability to see around corners", or in this case, the lack of it. Its like we are not grounded enough in the present; everything just flits away.

[insideoutsider]

Okay, I could wrap my head around that. And maybe at the point you bring up we could even remove the empathy part, and say something like manic impulsivity causes one to be "shortsighted".

The way I understand what you put down, it sounds like "seeing around corners" is similar to something I've heard about "reading the room"? If I'm not fully engaged I can often miss this.

I also don't remember being necessarily a trouble maker as a child.. my parents felt as if they were "walking on eggshells" they've said, or, you know, staying back a grade for being very shy, etc - so what I'm saying was it almost feels to me as if I developed antisocial behaviors and bipolar disorder around the same time, when I left home.

But again, I don't think they're absolutely related. But I do believe they perpetuate each other. I guess I'm trying to figure out which came first, so that I can understand what is more manageable and what may be more of a challenge.

Thanks unaluns I appreciate you

[Aurelius710]

Originally Posted by insideoutsider

Anyway, it's not so much an issue as I have been blessed with the ability to learn about social situations and human nature, and appreciate perspectives of others.

I have read things like, those with more empathy exhibit more self control, which is another reason why I ask the question. I don't fully understand why that is. I don't believe I empathize as well as say my sister, and I am more impulsive, but again, I can't really know how much of my impulsivity is from lack of empathy vs bipolar on its own, as those two things aren't necessarily related, as far as I know.

I think of it like this. Empathy, at its core, is thinking about others. Their wants and needs. Impulsivity is about doing things without thinking and it goes without saying that some of those impulsive acts can trample on the needs and wants of others.

Empathy, in my experience, can hold in tension the path from impulsive thoughts to impulsive acts. Without that resistance...

[insideoutsider]

Originally Posted by Aurelius710

I think of it like this. Empathy, at its core, is thinking about others. Their wants and needs. Impulsivity is about doing things without thinking and it goes without saying that some of those impulsive acts can trample on the needs and wants of others.

Empathy, in my experience, can hold in tension the path from impulsive thoughts to impulsive acts. Without that resistance...

That makes perfect sense..

You just gave me that "ah-ha" moment I was looking, I'm hearing and understanding that impulsivity may stem from a lack of affective empathy, and both can be mitigated by cognitive empathy. Mindfully thinking through the thought before it becomes an action.

It makes sense why I "recharge" when I'm alone, need that space, as socializing is draining when I've got to think about things like this constantly. Can't under think as I could have a bad impact on others, but also can't over think because I could effect my self.

Quite the mental gymnastics. Thank you Aurelius710 for the insight