Bipolar Check-In #78

Welcome @UnderstandingPisces!! I hope you find what you need here and then some!

Welcome Pisces.

Trying to keep a positive attitude but I am feeling very lonely. Just the weight of everything that has happened has finally fell on me.

You’re not alone. You’ve got us.

I found the score to that piece I found yesterday! And google translate works wonders for the lyrics.

I have bad flu like symptoms but my anxiety and moods actually seem better. Its just hard to tell under how sick I feel. I've tried Dramamine 2 doses 4 hours apart, pepto bismol tablets 5 or so hours apart. Asprin when I woke up at 7. And tylenol 6 hours later. Also a pepcid. And some icy hot for some muscle aches

So I've taken stuff. Currently I'm just very tired. I slept fine last night.

I've gone through worse things then this. But I don't reccomened Sonics new peanut butter bacon shake.

I took an hour nap a couple hours ago and I woke up feeling much better and I've been fine since. Mood anxiety and physically.

I has the dumb today. I got something from my apartment complex about renewing my lease but it says to use rent cafe and I know nothing about it! Nothing! Omg I hate my brain. I wrote an email to the person who sent me the notice but it just shows how dumb I actually am!

On my way to my hairdresser. Getting my extensions cut shorter they’re too long and dying my roots. Taking my partner out for dinner it’s his birthday today. Should be fun 😊

I got my car serviced and ran some errands. The service was under warranty so it didn't cost anything. But I did end up getting OEM floor mats.

I'm almost out of CBD. I'm debating whether to continue with it or just stick with the Klonopin.

Still feeling low but coffee helps, at least I got out of the house today.

I had to go home sick today-I was way to tired (mentally and physically) and was lightheaded/weak. I've been cold since I got home to-no fever but chills. My symptoms are playing out just like they did when I started lithium. I left a message for my pdoc this morning about my blood pressure but, of course, this was before everything hit and I had to go home from work. I'm seriously considering not taking another dose of tegretol until I can talk with him. This would mean not taking it tonight which might make it possible for me to get to work tomorrow (if this is what caused some symptoms to return).

But, staying home would greatly increase the chances of me being able to answer the phone if I do get a call from my pdoc's office tomorrow since I can't take calls while I'm teaching...

I need to stop tegretol and risperidone if these are the cause of so many of my health issues, but I am terrified at what my brain will do during the time it would take to get a new med into my system.

i am FINALLY back to my self. no depression or weird thoughts or bugs stuff happening since he upped my lybalvi and celexa.

thank the lord!

I'm so glad I got help for my depression. I spent today sleeping and that's a bad sign for me. I slept until 2 and then fell back asleep from 4-7 and I'm still tired.I hope things kick in quickly.

My lower right side has been hurting so badly since yesterday. Idk if its more withdrawel stuff or the other intestine stuff I dealt with last October. I'm not nauseated right now. Just achy mainly and a bit stuffed up and a bit anxious. Mood and depression wise I've been totally fine. We got food last night and I had these amazing pancakes. My mom got a reuben and my brother got a burger. So st least moood wise I'm ok so far.

But do withdrawels get easier the longer your off/lowered the med? Like I'm not chowing down dramaine and peptos right now but I have a bit of the heebie jeebies.

Beautiful day. Just hoping for a soft landing

I'm in a **** ton of lower right side pain. Is this normal with lowering Prestiq? It really is getting unbearable. My advil didn't work.

Well, I'm starting off my 34th year on a sour note.

First up, I was told I won a new TV through my work. Christmas raffle and all of that. Legit email from a trusted source. The website I used to interact with these people in general, including for the raffle, said I won bupkis. So, I asked, "Did I win the TV or did I win nothing?" They went with option C and gave me "points" that translated to $3 of credit at the company store. Considering the winning TV was $450 retail... I'd rather they'd have given me nothing. Geez!

That was an annoyance. My call to the dentist made me a combination of confused, dumbfounded and red in the face, cussing out the other person angry. I had yet another tooth issue yesterday wanted to get an appointment with the dentist not just for the immediate issue, but to get a game plan going forward. What I need to do, what they can do, et cetera.

I saw them once, at the end of May, and they've been sending me texts asking me to schedule an appointment. I call them to schedule an appointment... and they refuse to schedule me an appointment because I'm a new patient. "Fine, dandy, whatever. Schedule me a new patient appointment then." "We can't." they reply. "... ... Why?" I ask. "There's no cancellations."

They wouldn't schedule a new patient appointment unless a current patient cancels their appointment in the next ten days. Making any appointments after that date were rejected out of hand. When I gently suggested it might be easier to just say you're not accepting new patients, they had the nerve to get angry with me!! They mentioned five patients they scheduled and my first thought went to the old western where the villain shoots at the guys feet to make him dance. How many "Dance Boy! Dance" scenes did they have to endure to get their visit?

Wasn't all bad! A bit snowbound for my birthday, so I tried my hand at some cooking. Made a Chicken and Bacon Alredo with Spinach and Homemade Alfredo Sauce. Very good! I also bought a movie ticket for tonight and a ticket for my state-level Comic-Con. Never been to one and I rather enjoy that sort of thing, so I'm looking forward to it.

It's been a while since I went off Prestiq, but I feel like I would've remembered if I had severe withdrawals and I'm pretty sure I didn't have anything other than the zaps

I actually figured out my issue was the Olly metabloislim gummy vitamins I was using for a week. I didn't take one today and the stomach flu stuff went away and now I feel pretty normal and I'm not having much of any side effects. My anxiety went away after I went back to bed for an hour. I haven't had any valium in almost 12 hours.

I guess stomach issues is a common side effect with those gummies.

I’m feeling mellow today. My thoughts aren’t racing as fast. Managed to get 5 hours sleep last night which is great!

I found out today that a kid I was in treatment with I saw something on her Facebook and I haven't been on much in a long time. I guess her boyfriend still posts stuff on it. Anyways I saw this and then in the morning I messaged one of the staff I still keep in contact with. She told me it happened last year and she had spoken to her mom and her mom told her what happened. The staff didn't tell me because I was going through so much she didn't want to upset me.

I liked this kid. We got along well and she would get protective of me when stuff would go on. I thought about her a lot.

I guess after 14-16 years people from my past are just gonna start to go.

Took a Klonopin. Anxiety sucks.

I'm rereading an old favorite novel and feeling better overall. I still don't feel good but at least i feel okay, which is an improvement from lousy.

Hugs to all who struggle!

Ugh. So ANGRY!!!!! I don't know why I've been so pissed off and irritable as of late. I freaked out at my daughter earlier tonight for a really stupid reason. Husband asked me if everything was okay because apparently I've been this way for days and didn't realize it. I told him everything was FINE. EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning and am probably going to cancel because I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to talk to anyone.

Raspberry, I find the times I least want to talk to my therapist the times I most need to.


Just a thought......

This is very sad.