Bipolar Check-In #78

@JaneOnceMore - thinking of you. I hope you feel better soon.

I’m doing okay. I made the decision that 2024 was going to be my year of healing and growth. I’ve been so caught up in making everyone else happy that I’ve abandoned myself over the years.

Right now I have several opportunities available to me in which to further that intention.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

@Mountaindewed

Why does your pdoc want you off your antidepressant and mood stabilizer if you're depressed? I don't understand.

(((Hugs)))

My depression and moods mainly are all connected to my weight. Hes going to put me on Wellbutrin but he wants me off a couple other meds before that.

My appetite is down already from going down 50mil on the prestiq. So my moods have already kinda upped a bit.

I hope that makes sense. Basically my mental health is my weight and he really really understands it.

Good for you, go for it.

Oh I see. Well I'm happy you're feeling better already.

Word of precaution: wellbutrin caused me to have MASSIVE anxiety spike... like one of the worst anxiety episodes I've ever had. I lost a lot of weight because I was too anxious to eat! It was bad. Had to get off that stuff fast! I LOATHE wellbutrin almost as much as prolixin. Was not a good situation.

I hope it works out for you though!

It definitely DOES help you lose weight!

Watching a bunch of Star Trek the Next Generation on PlutoTV to get my mind off this storm. I haven't been sleeping as much even though I have my CPAP machine. Woke up at 5:30am for no apparent reason, and even though I am really tired, I have remained productive.

Fearful of the storm coming and really aware of my situation that I am completely on my own. Had to go buy a flashlight in case the power goes out. Missing my husband terribly even though I know I made the right decision.

Loathing the need to go out and brush/shove/push all the snow off my car. Between my back and my hands not sure how long it will take. The good news is that we only had 2.7 inches instead of the higher number they were predicting. Still, gotta get it off the car. The cold is coming too. Sunday dropping down to 2F soon it will be in the sub zeros. Ugh the minus of living here. No garage

I will talk to my internist on Friday and then possibly schedule an appointment with the neurologist to discuss narcolepsy which is now the working dx the psychiatrist gave me (without the sleep lap study though). I am starting to think that I need to go on a short term disability leave to find meds to deal with all of that. It is so stressful for me to work on tight deadlines and have all of those health issues.

Moodwise, though, doing very well.

My Quetiapine abuse has gotten out of control. The amount I've been taking each day is alarming, and I have even MORE to pick up from the pharmacy today and even MORE to pick up on Friday! Lord help me.

These withdrawels started pretty quickly mid morning. But its just physical right now. It feels like I have the flu. Bad fatigue and muscle aches mainly. And I feel like I'm in a fog. Mood wise I'm fine, anxiety wise I feel better after eating lunch and I haven't taken my last valium. Mainly I'm just very tired. I have no idea how to taper off 200mil of lamictal so I got out some old 25s and took 125mil and go down by 25mil every few days.

I need a long nap right now

@Mountaindewed

I had a hard time coming off Lamictal the first time and an easy time the second time. I couldn't imagine how awful it would be doing it cold turkey, so it's good you're tapering. I'm on 200mg right now and plan on tapering myself off it next week. I'm going to cut out my morning dose completely first (100mg) and then take 50mg for awhile and then, finally go down to 25mg.

That's my plan anyway. I'm not worried about the rash.

Oh - And I hope your withdrawals don't last long! (((Hugs)))

There was slush on my windshield and back window today but none of the other cars had any. It snowed last night but none of it stuck and instead we’ve just had drizzle all day. It’s supposed to get down to 8 degrees on Tuesday I think! Brr! I don’t have a garage either.

My pdoc rescheduled my appointment, it's now in 2 more weeks, at the end of January.

I got my blood tested and sugar and A1C are high but not high enough to be concerned.

But my cholesterol is high! It must be from the meds because I'm vegetarian and I exercise.

My son mentioned today how I seem to have very low confidence. He's right, my self esteem is way down and I have trouble making decisions and completing tasks. I noticed this is slowly getting worse. I'm not sure what I can do to change course.

I was going through my old emails from my pen pal and me from my old email account that I don’t use anymore and found an attachment of a recording. It is an old 1920s or 30s performance by a woman singing in French. It’s hauntingly beautiful. I emailed it back to my pen pal from my current email. I wonder if he’ll remember anything about it. I just heard her sing about the moon and her heart but my French is very rusty.

Yeah, the fun of apartment living!!

Turned out not to be too bad. I have a great scrapper. Has a long handle on it and it does extend. But the snow was the light fluffy kind without being heavy and wet. So it didn’t take me long at all. Decided to go pick up my pills. Uff da. Getting out of the lot was a heart attack. There was a gap I pressed the gas and nothing, my tires spun on the hill. Backed up a bit and waited for another gap and gunned it. Barely moved but did manage to get out of the lot. Was going to go pick up my meds but I saw a parking spot in front of the building and nabbed it. I’ll go early when there is a better chance of getting street parking, I don’t want to go back down in that lot if I can help it. I’ve only got a compact lightweight light powered car. Get up out of there on snow and ice is going to be tricky.

I honestly can’t remember but it was a high dose of pristiq. I was in 400mg lamictal

Remember that 800 mg is the FDA approved max. At least do not go over it. I hope you do not have enough to go that high.

Went with the family to Tasmania yesterday. Was lovely. Finally booked a hair appointment for tomorrow but completely forgot it’s my partner’s birthday. Oops. Will still go. We’ve got the whole day together. I can spend an hour or 2 apart 😊

My therapist contacted my pdoc today and told me I was to contact her by Friday. I went ahead and did it today and she responded quickly and upped my Emsam. Now I just have to get used to being careful with dietary stuff. I don't restrict as much on 9 mg as I do on 12. She said I was suffering and that needed to stop. The plan all along since spring has been to increase my dose the minute I had symptoms this year. I guess everyone did what was planned.

I hope it helps quickly. I had to change my appointment to virtual because I am so tired I slept until 5 minutes before time to leave despite having a lot of alarms set on my phone and Alexa. Which was about 12 hours of sleep. I just don't want to feel like I did last year or the year before (which wasn't nearly as bad as last year).

Hope all who are starting to feel the seasons get help in whatever shape you need.

I do have enough to go above 800mg and have, but over a 24-hour span, so not all at once. I didn't know 800mg was the max. I'm alarmed by my usage. I'll be more careful.

So far, taking tegretol is going well (knock on wood). Tomorrow is my first day upping the dose to 200 mg in the morning and 200 mg at night. I've been putting off calling my pdoc about risperidone affecting my blood pressure because I want to figure out if/how tegretol is going to help before having to adjust or stop taking a another med. At the same time, my blood pressure was 90 something over 50 or 60 something at my PT appointment today and I still feel light headed and dizzy at times (not all day though)...It's hard to know if/how much these symptoms are caused by the low blood pressure and what is caused by what's going on with my vestibular system.

It's also probably a complete a complete coincidence, but I just realized as I was typing this that (back when I was taking lithium) I woke up with cold symptoms the next day. The same exact thing happened with tegretol-I took my first dose (200 mg) Saturday night and woke up feeling a little congested on Sunday and have on and off cold symptoms since. Weird.

My brain is feeling a little maniky, but that could just be me being overtired from overdoing it at work today and then having PT after work.

I could not take Tegretol for many reasons, one being that sore throat just would not go away.

Hi, I'm new here. I am 28 years old with two kids, both boys, ages 9 & 4. I am here to make friends with other women and parents and people who can relate to my mental illnesses.

I am currently diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, ptsd, bipolar 2, and bipolar depression.

My current mental health medications are: Sertaline (Zoloft), Lamatrogine (Lamictal), and Clonazepam.

I also have physical health issues. These are lupus, arthritis, PCOS, another reproductive related issues.

I take an anti-inflammatory, Ibuprofen 800, and Flexeril for my lupus/arthritis related symptoms.

After a year of waiting, I will finally be seeing a rhemo in a few weeks.

Thanks for letting me share!