Bipolar Check-in #80

I might be feeling to good after my endoscopy. I was a little worried about hypomanic symptoms yesterday because my mind was all over the place and I struggled to sleep last night. Today, I've read a ton (which is something I did when I was undiagnosed), had a mind that was all over the place, felt like I can conquer anything, and can't sleep. Not sleeping is what concerns me the most because, ever since I was diagnosed and started meds, my sleep has rarely been significantly impacted. I'm wide awake and alert though at it's a couple of hours past when I am usually asleep. This will be uncharted territory with this pdoc if I have symptoms that involve little to no sleep.

If I'm up to long, I'll message my pdoc tonight already in hopes that he sees it tomorrow since he isn't in the office on Fridays. I might even double up and both send the message and call his office to make sure he knows I sent him a message.

Thanks @Scooter9 and @LadyShadow!!!

So the short of it is the neurologist can find no evidence of a stroke in any of the major tests I had done so he changed my discharge summary to “migraine”. And here I thought it was a stroke because that’s what the hospital told me I had! Go figure.

On the plus side I can drive now with no restrictions! Yay me.

Ugh. Went to bed at 10:30pm and got up at 1:30am. Just took a Seroquel. Going to try going back to bed if I can.

**** this pain. And trying that new brand of melatonin was a bad idea. I am so groggy right now I can't keep my eyes open. I have to leave in a few hours.

That's great news, @Crazy Hitch! I'm sorry you had to deal with the wrong diagnosis though.

@June08

II agree it is a good idea to see your psychiatrist if your symptoms go on too long. It sounds like you have hypomania. I know if I go too long without sleep, I go into full blown mania followed quickly by psychosis. I'm not sure if that is the case with you too or not. I hope you feel better soon. When is your next pdoc appt.?

@Lady Shadow
When is your next pdoc appt.? If you feel your depression is going on too long, you should call your pdoc anyway if you feel your next appt is too far off.

@raspberrytorte
Face it, you have full blown MANIA, not hypomania. Your symptoms are NOT hypomania.

Here is a list from Mayo Clinic of symptoms of FULL- BLOWN mania:
Abnormally upbeat, jumpy or wired
Increased activity, energy or agitation
Exaggerated sense of well-being and self-confidence (euphoria)
Decreased need for sleep
Unusual talkativeness
Racing thoughts
Distractibility
Poor decision-making — for example, going on buying sprees, taking sexual risks or making foolish investment (SUCH AS suddenly SPENDING a lot of money on going to Amsterdam, going so far as to spend even MORE money to pay your friend's way on the trip). We all know how overspending is a sign of mania too.

Your husband seems to be your major support system. You almost never even mention your friend in all your posts here. Have you considered that? Your husband NEEDS to drag you to the pdoc. If I had your symptoms, my husband would call my pdoc and if the pdoc refused to see me, drag me kicking and screaming to my pdoc's office, insisting he see me, and if my pdoc still refused to see me, dragging me kicking and screaming to the psych emergency room ASAP.

The other symptoms you describe are symptoms of delusions and psychosis s, beyond classic mania symptoms. Those are not even see your pdoc ASAP symptoms but symptom to go to the psych emergency room.

Take care of yourself. I am worried about you. You NEED to reach out to your pdoc ASAP, you WANT to go to AMSTERDAM not NEED to go to Amsterdam.


On another note, I am curious. What is the name of this band you want to see should badly? Maybe I should check them out and see if I like them and want to add them to my Spotify playlist!

I am doing well and I hope not too well. I put on makeup again today, and I went for a 3 mile walk since today was a rest day from my couchto10K program. I am feeling happy about these accomplishments. I really want to get my stomach in shape, and I know walking and jogging helped me in the past.

Just over 1 million people the Houston area electric company provides for are still out of power post Beryl, and the power company serves around 6 million customers. This estimate does not include the total number of indivuals living/working at each location the electric company serves. People with well water instead of city water like most of the town my family lives in are out of water too. This includes my parents, my 91 year old grandmother, and my aunt & uncle & their 3 indoor pets. Please pray that they get power soon. When the power comes on they will get water again too. My parents at least have a generator they can run periodically to get water to bathe in, wash their clothes, run the lights & AC, keep the food in their refrigerator good. My grandmother & aunt & uncle lost all their food in their refrigerators and freezer. I am really worried about my 91 year old grandmother. She refuses to ride the car with AC with my mom or my aunt & uncle. She even refuses to have my mom even pick her up for a 5 min. drive to spend time at my parent's house while the generator runs & they have AC again.

@crazy_Hitch, good to see you back! Glad there's no signs you had a stroke, but it must've not been a good feeling to go so long having to rely on others for rides especially for an invalid dx (have kinda been there for a bit--atleast with the inability to drive-- and it sucked).

@raspberrytorte I agree with blueberry that it sounds like the hypomania has escalated recently. "I fear if I don't see them live I will perish"? Even if you don't literally mean not seeing the band is going to cause your death, it's still concerning that out of the blue you're willing to illegally give your meds to your husband to convince him to go with you. I don't know what band you're talking about (I'm willing to bet it's Sleep Token based on your answers in the "what are you listening to" thread lol), but chances are this isn't the last time they're going to play, and there will be other times when you're more stable to see them--maybe even without having to fly across the ocean. I think you said you found out about the concert yesterday? I would give it quite a bit more time before committing to it--preferably when you're stable.

---

I'm a bit upset because I had an interview today for a stupidly easy job (slicing meat lol) but you have to pass a drug test to get hired. Everything is out of my system except the weed I smoked a bit of a month or so ago, which is probably least harmful of everything, but stays in your system long af. Bought a freaking shirt for this interview and everything.

I have just overwhelming emotions @Blueberrybook - but my pdoc appointment is coming up soon, as well as therapy, so maybe I can come up with some solutions. I appreciate your insights though, a lot. Great on you for that 3-mile walk!

I understand you not being able to see the signs @raspberrytorte - usually when you're in it, and experiencing it, no one can tell you anything, I get it, I totally do. But you know people are worried for you and I am too - I like what @MuddyBoots said about your favorite band having more dates coming up, they might be playing closer to you in the upcoming months, so just hold out a bit longer. I know how much music means to us, but just don't go dipping into your retirement for a concert just yet okay?

As for me, I am really dragging my butt today. The new thyroid medicine could be affecting me a lot in an adverse way, I don't know. I know how you feel about your concerns @June08 - I feel the same EXACT way. I have been averaging 5 hours for nights in a row now, and also my emotions have been all over the place. Not exactly all over the place with thoughts like you described, but bursts of energy late at night - and last night my dreams were very, very strange, but I knew something good was happening. I do know how important sleep is though, and how we should really keep an eye on it.

So sorry about the job thing @MuddyBoots - you know what though? I would go for the interview anyway, especially if it's been a month already since you smoked the weed, you never know, you may get lucky! It's better to try at least, you might feel better about it.

I think hypomania is starting to set in. I think I triggered it. It's just I can't seem to lose weight lately, so I've been cutting my quetiapine in half lately, taking 150 mg a night instead of 300 mg a night. It's also that I have no energy on that much quetiapine. But today H today me I've been acting a little "off" lately and he is concerned. I don't want H concerned, but on the other hand, I wanted hypomania to set in. I feel good. I have energy to go walking. (In addition, the Cymbalta has reduced the tingling in my feet from neuropathy to almost nothing, so it's easier to go walking now. Hopefully, the Cymbalta is not the cause of the hypomania because of the effect it has on the neuropathy, and it's not taking the full dose of AP that caused the hypomania. I promised H I would start the full dose again tonight. Boo.) I want to do a ton of things suddenly like clean my closet of clothes that are too small, clean house, and am doing some overspending. But it's awful to have your emotions so blunted. I feel happy. I'm alive again.

I increase risperdal and decrease lybalvi again on my taper tonight. heres to hoping things stay ok.

I had my endoscopy. I didn't snap out of the anthesia and I guess I tried sitting up once and the nurse told me to lie down and then I tried again to sit up and that time my mom told me to lie back down. But it wasn't like last time. I did get pretty nauseated so they gave me a shot of zofran through my IV. But I felt ok fairly quickly and I got dressed and was able to walk out myseIf. My mom and I got food to bring home.

I have inflamation in my lower esophagus, inflamation in my stomach, and a few ulcers in my stomach. The nurse said thats why I've been so sick. She told me to raise my prilosec to twice a day and then follow up with the doctor in 2 weeks. He took several biopsies.

Then I had to pickup the stuff for my colonoscopy on Monday. I had a question about the stuff and the nurse was all like to my mom "the doctor says he absolutly needs a colononscopy." Kinda a freaky answer.

My mom was joking and said we should send this report to the first hospital that just blew me off. Seriously though, get a second opinion if you know something isnt right.

I'm just lying in bed now. I'm groggy and a bit headachy and nauseated and crampy. Waiting to see if Biden drops out today.

@Mountaindewed, nurse probably thinks with quite a bit of upper GI problems, there's likely some stuff they need to know about lower. At least that's what I'd be thinking without any medical training. Weird that was a response though to a question about the prep stuff though.

----

In the interview I told them I couldn't pass a test if they asked because some ignorant douche I listened to said it was over 90 days if it was "stoner use," and I just assumed that being high for a week straight would qualify me as "probably won't pass in under a third of that." (I looked it up and in most cases--even multiple times a day chronically--are gone by about 30 days). I think an employer would be sketched out if someone called back and said "oh wait, I can pass," after.

Oh man, I had to take my mother to the hospital and they are admitting her. There are several things going on with her.

One possibility is congestive heart failure but they need to clear up other things before they have a clearer picture.

This is not helping my anxiety. One step at a time, I suppose.

Hypomania feels awesome. I don't want to have to go back on my full dose of Seroquel like I promised H. I want the hypomania to last other than the overspending part. It feels SOO good! Life is awesome again!

I'm glad they're getting closer to solving your issues MD. I hope the colonoscopy prep and procedure goes well.

I'm so sorry. I hope you get some answers soon. Any idea when they will have a diagnosis. Sometimes just waiting for the diagnosis is worse than actually getting and dealing with a bad diagnosis because if you know the prognosis (even if it's not good), you can make plans to deal with it. I can't remember. Do you have a T? If so, you should definitely talk to your T about it.

Has your doctor tested if the ulcers are caused by the bacteria H. pylori? If they are, they can do a blood, breath or stool test to test for it. For the breath test, you drink or eat something that contains radioactive carbon. H. pylori breaks down the substance in your stomach. Later, you blow into a bag, which is then sealed. If you're infected with H. pylori, your breath sample will contain the radioactive carbon in the form of carbon dioxide. Hopefully they did bioposies of the ulcers during your endoscopy. The bacterial cause can be easily treated. Otherwise, the ulcers are caused either by using NSAIDs (Excedrin, aspirin, Motrin, naxproxen, ibuprofen, Aleve, Midol) or they can be idiopathic (cause unknown)..

I know too that you have ED issues. Purging and bulimia are cause ulcers too as well as vomiting frequently. When someone with bulimia nervosa (BN) purges by self-induced vomiting, the stomach acids are brought up out of the upper GI tract. This may increase the amount of acid in the stomach, making it even more acidic and thus damaging tissue. Which is why I'm wondering why your GI hasn't been more proactive about your frequent vomiting. Ulcers can perforate if left until and it requires invasive emergency surgery; I should know, I have a 5 inch vertical scar belly button up from when I had an ulcer that perforated. That experience was another notch on my PTSD belt. It was AWFUL.

Yeah, I've definitely got some hypomania going on. But, situational depression of not having much to do is still there on and off throughout the day too. For context, before my endoscopy, I was needing 11-12 hours of sleep a night and still didn't have the energy to do much because I was so fatigued. Last night, once I fell asleep I slept for about 6-7 hours. So, while a good nights sleep, I'm still running on half the sleep I've been getting and still feel full of energy. I do believe some of this energy is also coming from the IV fluids though.

I didn't message my pdoc because I slept well, and a good amount, and was doing okay for the first part of the day. Now, my racing and all over the place brain is back, I can't/don't want to focus on one thing because I want to be doing everything at one, and I feel like I can conquer the world again... In the past, if I have sleep issues, it only lasts a day or two and then my brain figures itself out. So, hopefully, that will be the case this time and I won't end up needing less and less sleep. @Blueberrybook my next pdoc appointment is in just over two weeks.

@LadyShadow I'm sorry you are going through something similar.

@Mountaindewed I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you can continue to get answers so they need so you can know exactly what is going on.

@Scooter9 I'm sorry about your mother.

Thanks @Blueberrybook.

We'll know more in 1 or 2 days which is how long it'll take to get all the water out of her system. Her legs are badly swollen as is her stomach - all water.

She's on the cardiology ward and her doctor is in the same hospital which is great. We went through a bad diagnosis before but I think this time is different. They're being very diligent and taking things step by step.

Anxiety is under control, at least physically with the Klonopin. My mind is a mess but I guess that's to be expected in the circumstance. My family is supportive.

Yes, I have a T but I don't see her until next Tuesday. I'll speak with her about this though.

Good evening everyone ☺️

I'm not going to Amsterdam. Husband won't let me go alone. And I have no one to go with. Yes. The band is Sleep Token.

I'm not manic. I'm gleeful! Seriously though, I promise I'm not manic. I've been taking my antipsychotic. If I stopped taking my antipsychotic yes I would be manic right now.

Bought Dr. K his thank you card this afternoon. Husband and I walked to the store after having a wonderful love encounter 💕 (Daughter was hanging out with her cousins at his mom's house). Wednesday is my last appointment with Dr. K and then I start seeing Dr. A in August. Help me please! She's going to fukk me up!

Have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning. Going to try getting more than three hours of sleep tonight. Wish me luck!

I don't have bulimia. My therapist said I don't. I asked her when all this was starting. I was worried I had an eating disorder and she reassured me I was going through a health issue and that my vomiting was legit. They did take biopsies of stuff. I think they said it was gastristis for right now until they get the biopsies back.

I did do a stool test and my test came back at 201. Abnormal is 120. Which is why they want to do the coIonoscopy. They said something about irritable bowel disease.

Thanks. I'm kinda nervous about the colonoscopy because I can tell there is something off. Just pain wise and stuff.

(Please stay at home! You don't know what will happen if you go alone! NB) I read the post you posted later. I am glad that you are not going! I was worried for you.

@Bluberrybook I hope your grandmother at 90 will do well and change her mind if it is necessary.