[MuddyBoots]

MH being mental health, couldn't fit it in the title

How do you manage the whole spiral of "this is going to be a shyt show like last week and the week before and the week before and the week before and the week before and...oh there were no weeks before because that therapist ghosted me but if we pick up where that one left off that was a **** show too and the week before that and the week before that."?

The lobby bothers me to no end. I have a thing with corners and there is ONE seat I am okay sitting in that's physically uncomfortable because it's in front of the heater, but also because it's in front of the heater it's usually taken anyways.

Then it's just half an hour of feeling threatened for no reason, and then crying in the parking lot for 10 minutes before I leave because I wasn't happy with how it went (yet couldn't imagine anything better happening?)

edit: OH MY GAWWWD WHY DOES MSF KEEP ADDING EXTRA LINES BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS I ONLY HIT ENTER TWICE NOT FOUR TIMES!!!!!

[Moose72]

I’ll let you know tomorrow after my therapy appointment if something like that happens!

[Mountaindewed]

When I was doing telehealth during the pandemic I would have to close my eyes and do this deep breathing and think "the waves come in, the waves go out."

Now I look forward to therapy. But my pdoc appointments still makes me anxious.

[Blueberrybook]

For me, no, not really, unless it's a brand new pdoc. I don't see a T. My pdoc is pretty calm and doesn't tend to say even alarming things in an alarming or threatening voice. He's matter-of-fact, I guess you'd say. And he tends to be very good at keeping on time with appointments, which helps me too as I am not a good waiter.

Now, whenever I'm in the psych hospital, that is a different matter altogether!

[Nammu]

No, but I’m an old hand at seeing Ts and pdocs. Been seeing them since the last century! I’m also not BPD so I don’t know if that makes a difference. But if I look back to the times I was in crisis I think yes, I may have been anxious then. Cause I was unstable and they could control my life if I didn’t get a handle on it. I was hospitalized in a state hospital for 6 month. But I don’t recall being anxious I was furious. They wanted to recommit me for 6 more months and I left the state. Started over with nothing. Found great Ts associated with the homeless community but this was back in the 80’s. Not sure they get those kinds of resources now.

[Crazy Hitch]

Sometimes if I'm seeing my gp for work cover I get very stressed beforehand. Huge anxiety.

[HALLIEBETH87]

i do get a tad anxious mostly bc idk exactly what will happen.

[June08]

When I was in counseling, even though I saw the same counselor for three years, I'd always get a little nervous for it (the anxiety was really bad when I first started seeing her). I don't really get nervous for my pdoc appointments anymore, but I've been seeing him for three years now-at first, I always got really nervous.

When I have to switch pdocs when my insurance switches over this summer, I know I'll be extremely nervous before appointments for awhile.

[MuddyBoots]

I've just had a few sessions with my current T (I've known her before/she was on the ACT team all along just she wasn't in a therapist position), but each one on one appointment I have more and more anxiety beforehand. Was the same with my last and I saw her for like a year and then took a break and then again for a few months.
I've known this pdoc for a few years, but left the area and came back less than a year ago.

I'm just getting more distrustful of every part of the system as time goes on.

[Moose72]

Nope. No anxiety related to my therapy session today. I’m more concerned about my anxiety level after next week’s appointment as that’s my last therapy session with her.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

No, I look forward to seeing my Dr who is both a therapist and a psychiatrist. But I have been seeing him for 8+ years. In fact, I tend to have anxiety if for some reason he or I cancel our regular appointment and I go for longer between appointments. So, the opposite situation - more anxiety if I do not see him regularly.

[Victoria'smom]

I do, I get anxious to the point it takes me a little while to talk. They know this and my t thinks it due to my paranoia of health professionals. I haven't seen my pcp in 2.5 years. It's not because I'm healthy it's the damn mental health screening they do. I fail it miserably each time, I'm not honest, so why go. I've had an infection for over 20 years that I haven't taken care of. I'm the same way with dentists but my anxiety is even worse.

[NovaBlaze]

Yes, I get stressed when I have to talk to health professionals, whether it’s about mental or physical health.

My BP spikes every time I enter a GP’s (General Practitioner) surgery. Usually this is because I often get to see different professionals each time - and I don’t enjoy explaining everything all over again. It gets exhausting at times.

If I’m seeing the same one, and I’m familiar with them, which is rare, then I can be a bit calmer.

Jeff.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Victoria'smom

I do, I get anxious to the point it takes me a little while to talk. They know this and my t thinks it due to my paranoia of health professionals. I haven't seen my pcp in 2.5 years. It's not because I'm healthy it's the damn mental health screening they do. I fail it miserably each time, I'm not honest, so why go. I've had an infection for over 20 years that I haven't taken care of. I'm the same way with dentists but my anxiety is even worse.

Ooh I do understand not wanting to see physical health doctors due to mental health. Especially when eating disorder stuff is going on (that doubles for dentists… I saw one a few years ago before an ED relapse and I’m afraid to go back. Last time wasn’t even bad, just a few cavities to be filled and thin enamel so told to stay away from whitening tooth pastes. He didn’t seem too judgy when he asked about disordered eating and I told him either. It doesn’t help that in a cycling state I went like six months without really brushing my teeth and never flossing).

But I do fear any medical complaints will be chalked up to side effects or mental health/behaviors (esp w/ substance use and disordered eating). I mean, it usually is though for me… 🙃 I’m pretty sure I have PMDD but don’t even want to discuss it with anyone because it seems too “mental” for my gyno and too “physical” for pdoc. I’m lucky though that my mental health center has an integrated program where my PCP gets to talk to my pdoc and vice versa. My pdoc actually got me same day appointment when I broke my finger and it looked displaced (still does), and my therapist got me a same hour appointment when she thought I had scabies. Helps that they get to battle things out if it’s a “is it physical or mental” and I don’t have to feel like the child messenger between parents that hate each other.

—-

But I think I’ve realized I’m only afraid of appointments if I’m unwell enough that they might suggest hospitalization (which I’m instantly going to think of being tackled by security or getting 20 staples without anesthetic, etc.) or if im projecting the BPD on my treatment team (thanks @Nammu for instigating that thought). I shouldn’t worry about that too much with ACT (especially post BPD dx and there being a bit of literature against hospitalizing people with BPD for the intense but SHORT episodes) because they’re on my side with staying out of the hospital (exception being if I’m off meds and bipolar/schizoaffective taking lead like it was I guess).

I also just hate med management and the layout of the lobby (honestly sometimes the people too—I’ve had to call 911 for fights outside the building and seen people shyt and piss themselves in there waiting area which I don’t blame them—well I blame the dude for the fight—but I do understand some people are just so unwell whether physically or mentally accidents happen. That doesn’t mean I have to like it though &#128518.

[bizi]

I only "see" my pdoc nurse practitioner once every 3 months because I am stable.
I have been face timing with her since covid. The last 2 times I could not figure out how to talk with her so we just talked on the phone.
I am afraid of her, afraid she will take away my klonipin.
Or change my meds.
I wish I did not feel this way. She has been responsive with my wishes to increase the remeron and requip for restless legs.
So I appreciate her and should not be afraid of her.
Bizi