Bipolar Check-In #93

Hey everyone!

I am so happy Papi is feeling better @Blue_Bird - you made the absolute right decision by bringing him to the vet - he doesn't deserve to be in pain, and you didn't know what was wrong.

I hope everyone is enjoying a good Labor Day. This has been the absolute best weekend of my life, in a really long time. Things are going really well in my freindships and relationship and my parents are home safe - my dad was super happy that I got my air fryer, lol.

I got all dressed up and went to an AA meeting today, I really needed it. I pulled out a really pretty purple dress that I haven't worn all summer because the cleavage was too much, but I had a nice silk scarf to wear so I covered it up. I might start going to a Big Book study that happens every Wednesday at 7am, it could be a nice accountabilty help to get me up early and enjoy some fellowship with AA people. I really need to get more involved with my recovery community, I have been lacking.

I also spent some time in Adoration today and lit candles for the people in my life that I love more than anything, and I say prayers for. It really was such a nice beautful 75 degree today, with a nice breeze and sunshine, and I was the only one on chruch grounds, the whole place was empty so I had everything to myself to reflect in deep prayer. God has really granted me every blessing I have asked for. About to settle in with a cool disaster film from 1961 called Devil at 4'oclock starring Spencer Tracy and Frank Sinatra. Should be a good one!

I just went on a half-hour walk!

Oo Spencer and Tracy, that should be good!

I balled the watermelon with my scooper and I’m happy with myself. The watermelon I ordered was on sale. I thought it was a personal sized watermelon but it was quite large. I was dreading cutting it. I figured it would be messing. Then I remembered my baller. I just cut it in half and scooped it into a container. It getting cold as I type. It will be my dinner. I’m still off food.

I’m hoping my pharmacy is open tomorrow as they’ve been closed for 5 days now. I’ll be out of my stomach meds tomorrow. I’m already in pain from not keeping my meds down yesterday. If my pharmacy doesn’t open tomorrow I’ll have to call the clinic and see if I can get a prescription sent to somewhere else. But my pills are already on the shelf so I don’t know if my insurance would cover them! I had planed to go pick them up on the first day that they closed. What a mess.

I’ve got to get a couple prescriptions tomorrow too. One is my Dulera- asthma maintenance inhaler.

I've been napping since noon I felt sick when I got up but I'm ok now. My anxiety has been fine all day

Lately I've been taking long naps durIng the day and listening to music. I did work out for a bit.

My mom said no to worry about anything right now and just sleep if I need to.

I'm fighting the urge to take a benzo this morning. Wanting to see if I can go without one.

Does the prep stuff taste "better." With crystal light instead of the lemon packer? I know it will be terrrble either way

@Mountaindewed I've not used the lemon packet so I don't have an answer really but FWIW, Crystal light kept it from being terrible. It wasn't good but it was not bitter, just salty with an aftertaste. I hate artificial sweeteners so it probably could taste better than it did to me and probably there wouldn't be an aftertaste since I think even diet soda has an awful aftertaste. I just drank it and then drank something else immediately and it wasn't that bad. I didn't trust the lemon packet .


I was told to use Crystal light by a GI nurse and she said it was better.

Definitely use a straw. That helps a lot.

It’s been a sh*tty day. Fight w/spouse. Frustrated. Even though I slept well last night, I’m depressed and agitated. Trying to chill out and self regulate. Watching Ancient Aliens on Roku.

Tried to wear my ear-pods and ignore my neighbors in the dog park this morning but it wasn't possible. I ended up just exchanging pleasantries with this one really friendly woman who said she was sorry they were disturbing my peace. That was nice of her, not to take offence at my anti-social behavior.

I put on my long curly brunette sex wig and went out to the airport and for a ride on our trains. Nothing happened except i gestured to a seat at a table in the food court at the airport and one of the two men said, "Pleasure." It's not like i can hold up my end of a conversation anyways, so no matter.

I talked to a neighbor in the lobby who is in my support group, "S." I was real phony and feigned interest in his weight loss, which he went on and on about, which i don't know why men are so insensitive and talk to me about the five or less pounds they are over ideal weight when i am clearly 100+ pounds overweight.

But it was me who acted so phony, so that's on me. Then he talked about common colds and that was even more boring. I acted interested in that too. I wonder what would happen if i just spoke my mind, you know, just say, "Hey, it's not cool to talk about your extremely minor weight problem to me when *I* am morbidly obese and i don't want to hear about your sore throat and sniffles."

Everyone loses when i am phony. *THEY* lose because they waste *THEIR* time talking about something i don't want to hear about, and *I* lose because i waste *MY* time listening to something i have no interest in. It's just when i'm talking to someone it's like i am performing for them, in my role as conversational partner.

I wish i would do everyone a favor, myself included, and just be myself, and say, "Hey, man, it's not cool to go on about your less than five-pound weight gain." Why am i so afraid of not being nice, not being kind, not being supportive? Why am i positive with people who are hurting my feelings? Why don't i just say, "Hey, man, you're being really insensitive. Stop it."

Yes @Nammu the movie was very good!! Very dramatic! I am so sorry about your med situation though and you can't eat. My pharmacy pulled the same thing on Friday, but luckily I have just enough to wait till tomorrow. I am heading over there to pick up mine tomorrow too.

Just feeling good overall. I started playing Tombriader Chronicles on my new PS2 and having a lot of fun being Lara Croft again - it's like reliving my teenage years again - and it was really nice I discovered a Birthday Cake milkshake at Zaxby's today - I know it's not good, but I enjoyed the Hell out of it. Got my favorite veggie rolls too.

Tomorrow should be a good day - my roses are almost dead, but they are holding on a little bit. I am going to bring fresh flowers to the Legion since I got take home these beautiful roses. I honestly think this change in temperature has been helping my mood a lot too.

I lost 25 pounds!
from the BMI chart it looks like am in the category of over weight instead of obese!!!!
Yay me!That has been a steady 1 pound per week. clothes are starting to be loser feeling so are my scrubs.
bizi

Did this work?

Full picture of me. I look like crap because I feel like crap

Congratulations @bizi

@Mountaindewed It did work! And hopefully in a week or so you will be feeling a lot better. I know there's a hard time to get through but relief is coming.

Omg. It's so frickin hot in here. 🥵 I'm dying. Today was my daughter's last day of summer break so we went and had a picnic and walked some trails and that was hot. I guess it's supposed to cool off later this week. In northern Wisconsin they have a winter advisory and are supposed to get snow. I have a feeling this winter is going to be brutal and since you can't get covid vaccinations at pharmacies anymore unless you're 65 or older, I'm making an appointment with my GP for my daughter and I to get ours. I DO NOT WANT TO GET COVID THIS WINTER!!!

I have to make an appointment with my GP anyway because it feels like my iron pill isn't working as well anymore. I'm getting tired doing simple things again, like cleaning the apartment or walking into and around grocery stores. I don't know why I have such a bad iron deficiency! I'm not even fully vegan anymore! My husband makes pizza for my daughter and I every weekend, so I eat cheese once a week.

I kind of have end of summer blues. 😔 I mean, this summer went by so fast! And it was so fun. I know we have three more concerts to go yet, until the season is technically over, but still. I'm sad. I like winter because I like being snuggly and warm in blankets and sweaters and scarves and winter hats, etc. I just have a dread feeling about this winter.

I'm feeling the loxapine shortage. I've had a persistent headache all day. And the other night I had the paranoia, but I'm staying strong. 💪 I can do this. I won't be going down to 10mg a day for a while yet, but so far I'm doing okay on 20mg.

@Blue_Bird

You did what was right with Papi. Our male cat, Binx, has urinary crystal issues. It started with him struggling to pee, and then he started peeing blood. Now he's on a prescription only cat food and if he doesn't stay on it he won't be able to pee again. It was really scary! Anyway, I'm happy Papi is okay now and happy. 😊 And it's good he doesn't have the urinary crystal thing. It's a life long thing, and that food is frickin expensive! I don't know though. Both our cats are special needs. Binx needs special prescription cat food so he can pee, and our cat Stella needs sensitive skin and stomach cat food or she gets diarrhea.

Cats are expensive man! (I'm not complaining. Our cats are my babies. ❤️)

I woke up with bad heartburn and I took a zofran. I'm out of Pepcid. So I went to get Tums and I felt like I was clos to passing out. I took my blood pressure and it is 144/110. I'm hoping the tums heIp

@ Cats are expensive man! (I'm not complaining. Our cats are my babies. ❤️);

I know what you mean about cats being expensive. Ariel isn’t on prescription food but I get her low-calorie Science Diet food and give her exactly a 1/4 cup twice a day because she was a pound overweight from the regular cat food I was feeding her. A pound is a lot when you’re only a 10-pound cat! I suppose I should get her re-weighed in a week as that will be two months since she’s been on the restricted diet.

I had a male neutered cat about 10 years ago who got crystals and then got a urinary blockage and had to be seen immediately by the vet to get treated. It was terrible. I’m glad my current cat is female so urinary blockages are more rare.