Bipolar Check-In #93

My two previous cats. Mocha (Siamese) and Maybelle (tortie) they were awesome.





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I’m getting a payee starting next month. I dug myself into such a deep hole financially in the spring when I was manic and I’d rather hand control of my finances back over to a program that does that than risk that ever happening again. Sucks but it is what it is and is in my best interest. Not to mention the vet bill which wiped out the little savings I had started accumulating. Don’t want to be in that situation again if I ever got manic again so I would rather hand over the bulk of my money to someone who can make sure bills get paid and I have money in savings for possible emergencies

Sucks cause I wanted to be completely independent but I’m not ready for that I guess.

Anyway, I’m glad I live in supportive housing they can help me with the paperwork for it

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I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, anxious, shaking, and with heart palpitations. I stopped taking my topamax four days ago. I don't know if it was perimenopause or topamax withdrawal, but I've also been getting bad headaches as of late, so I took a topamax this morning to see if it would help and it did. Ugh. I'm going to have to wean off that one apparently. Yay. I'm only on 100mg! Christ.

Luckily I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday, so I can talk to her about attempting to wean off it. The only reason why I was put on it in the first place was to help with increased appetite from seroquel and it's not working. I'm still hungry ALL THE FUDGING TIME.

Holy carp, moose!

Hey raspberry - i had to start taking Tagamet when i started topamax because the topamax gave me stomach pains that could only be stopped by food! I was like, pdoc, wtf?! Thats when he said, OH! Arent you taking tagamet? All my friends take it! Im like, no, im not OLD like YOU!

I went up to 400, but by then i was falling over, but i was losing weight. I lost about 40 lbs and it stayed off for quite a while. I was taking home half my restaurant portions. Honestly, i would try 200 if i were you, but i know im the only person on this site who loooooves it.

It was kinda fun, just falling down.i never hurt myself, it happened like twice, once in front of the post office. Just, BOOM! Straight down crumple.

My body is just like "not today satan" I was doing good all day yesterday. Today I can barely get out of bed.

I've been craving carbs. Just straight up eating plain white bread and stuff.

I feel less down then I did yesterday. Which is really good.

I did a walmart order last niight and I ordered a bunch of apple cider and pumpkin Little Debbie and Entenmanns treats. Yeah carb craving plus pumpkin spice season isnt a good combo. Lol

What gorgeous good looking handsome felines these be! Wow!

My primary dr put in a surgery referral. They are calling me back to schedule.

Today is a very exciting day. I take my vows for the Legion of Mary and officially become a Legionnaire. It's such a big step for me. I also am waiting to find out if I will be approved to take the class to become a Eucharistic Minister. It all means a lot to me.

Things have been going well, I have been on edge about things because of a new development I realized last night. I have to be a bit more careful these days. Other than that, I am looking forward to going out today and enjoying a day in prayer before I take my vows.

I love your old cats @Blue_Bird - they were so magnificent and fancy. I know a payee isn't the best thing to have right now, but if they can help you, it would be good.

I am just overwhelmed with emotions today, good, bad, negative, hopeful. I hope I can get through today.

Today has already felt crazy long and it's not even 1:30pm.

Luna, I did ask my psychiatrist if we could try going up to 200mg, but she said no because it would give me cognitive impairment or something. I was like, "Have you NOTICED how much gabapentin I'm on and I'm fine?!" I don't know why we can't just try it. The psychiatrist who initially prescribed me it would have but willing to. I'm pretty sure I'd be fine. Maybe I'll beg her. Lol.

Raspberry, for sure! The only thing i noticed is i couldnt answer Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy anymore, but i still did okay at work, doing my usual computer stuff, which was relatively creative.

recovering.

@Moose72 I can't believe you've had a tube inside for potentially 20 years! That's not what you expect to hear.

I can’t get them to make me a surgery’s date to get this thing removed! My dr made the referral!

So I’m supposed to give a stool sample and this is the first morning I’ve woken up and not rushed to the loo first thing. I just don’t need to go to the loo. Wtf Murphy law I tell you!

In other news I’m going for my ultrasound at 10:30am. Should be a straightforward procedure I would think.

Having GI issues. Thankfully I have immodium. I tend to get them around the time of my period but this time it’s really bad. Hoping it clears up before I go to my class tonight.

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@LadyShadow , I think a payee would be the best thing for me for now. It would take so much stress off my shoulders, I’m going to get a copy of my birth certificate next week then going to the DMV to get a REAL ID since I only have a regular ID and they now require you to have a REAL ID to enter the social security building. But anyway after that all I have to do is make an appointment with them go in and turn the paperwork in and I’ll have a payee again.

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