Bipolar Check-In #93

Your shoe exudes joy!!

@Blue_Bird

It's good you're deciding to stay on thorazine. My two APs are seroquel and loxapine, and in another (failed of course) attempt to lower my meds I decided to taper off it, under psychiatrist supervision of course. Original dose was 50mg. Got down to 10mg and I started getting psychotic - paranoid, delusional, and my anxiety was sky high. It was awful, so I went back up to 40mg and started feeling much better. Obviously that's the AP keeping me from going nuts!

Yeah accepting Thorazine always been a struggle for me. I used to randomly stop it for several days to a week then I’d get a lot worse and have to restart it and the cycle kind of continued for several years. I finally got to the point where I’m just like I need it , so I will take it everyday consistently and I stopped randomly stopping it because I know it helps me a lot. It’s not worth messing with it, I’ve already done that and the results are always very bad. Glad you were able to figure out that the loxapine helps and decided to stay on it

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Final painting for today, a nigellis flower, looks nothing like everyone else’s but I’m very new to watercolor


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Listening to KoRn- Right Now thinking of my case manager.....

Case manager wasn’t at work yesterday but this morning she forwarded my pnp my texts re ECT. Waiting for a reply. I went to bed last night but woke up at 4 am- listened to music, took a shower, ate breakfast then went to Starbucks with my friend/neighbor at 7:30. I know I’m gonna crash here soon. Seem to still be manic as the residual Risperdal has worn off by now.

I slept from about 10 and I didn't wake up until 9. I never sleep that late. I did have to mop the floor around 3 because I didn't aim well. I love my Swifter dry and wet mop I got a few weeks ago.

I feel decent today. A bit foggy headed but overall I'm ok.

My mom said "Tyra Banks sure is looking chunky." Um ok. She said yesterday "Serena Williams was always a big girl"

Thats basically how watching the Today Show with my mom is always like.

They gave me this big packet with everything in it and IT has the foods I can and can't eat. They also said I need to stop my iron and melatonin.

I need to get up every hour when I get home and walk around. They said moving is crucial.

I saw pictures yesterday of Serena after Wegovy or whatever. It chewed the muscle and fat right off of her. Gives me hope!

Did you get approved for wegovy? Or are you paying out of pocket?

I just thought Serena was just muscular because she is an athelete. She looked fine to me.

Mass was great this morning. Met a girl there and we started talking. Hopefully, I have made a new Catholic friend that I can share things with. She doesn't have a lot of friends either. Mass was really good, I was really involved with my prayer and thought a lot about what me and @Blue_Bird discussed yesterday in our Bible study - it all is coming together. Then I went to a get together with some church people at my friend's house - my godmother was there, it's always good seeing her.

I got some more McDonald's today which is always bad, but I just felt like having it. I know I should be more active with all the weight loss stuff, but I think I am going to approach it like I always did - by dancing. I used to go clubbing a lot when I was younger, so I am going to try and dance all these pounds away. I have always feared all those injectables - just something about sticking my stomach with medicine just feels wrong, and I know I have diabetes, and my doctors had suggested it, but I stay away from insulin too and take oral meds.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good day today - my heart is doing cartwheels, but I am trying not to let it ruin my day.

I am almost finished with the heap of garbage on my balcony. One more early-morning session should do it. Then on to my laundry. Fighting to get my activities-of-daily-living under control. Getting there. Made a good decision today to skip an afternoon out in the city and stay home and rest and store up energy.

Read an article that explained that socializing in moderation is healthy but after a point it is not beneficial and is even harmful in terms of stress and neglect of other activities. I seem to have a lower threshold for socializing than is typical. I had fun with F in the dog park this morning, everyone is getting along again now, so there's very little reason to leave the property, and i am happy to spend the rest of the day on my own.

I was approved for ozempic for my diabetes, but there is still a copay.

Serena was definitely sturdier than Venus, before, thats all im saying. Now she is downright narrow. She went from mesomorph to almost ectomorph, as we used to say in the olden days.

@Blue_Bird thanks for asking! With this bout of depression, I haven't been reading much. I have a book that I am over halfway done with but haven't read in awhile. I should try to get myself to read more this weekend-maybe Sunday when I typically don't have much of a to-do list.

I have an IV fluids appointment this weekend so I'll read "A man called Ove" during that.

I get wanting to hop from book to book-I do that sometimes too.

Maybe, Harry Potter would motivate me to read even when depressed because I'm due to read the 5th one which is my favorite.

I have been so sluggish today. I've been off and on napping and listening to music. My mom keeps telling me not to get worked up or anxious over stuff because it will make the surgery more difficult. Not too sure what she meant by that.

Gary has been a love bug these last few days. I love that cat. Crookshanks is grumpy as normal.

I found a few pictures of me from when I was 15. I had really long hair but I was wearing an oversized T shirt and cargo shorts.

I suggested to my mom that she take my brother out for dinner. I don't want him to become a glass child.

I went on Facebook yesterday. I didn't post anything and I logged out this morning. I just don't like airing my laundry for people that know me.

@LadyShadow I got McDonald's today too! I needed to pick something to eat up on my way home from work and this was the easiest place to get in/out of on my commute home. It also just sounded good.

I’m losing my mind!!!!! 🤣🤪. Lack of sleep! It’s back! My pnp left me hanging over the weekend yet again!!!

Hey everyone!

It’s Saturday my favourite day of the week. I’m going to try and cherish it and just enjoy it. Too bad my 6 year old is in a very elevated mood. Ritalin time for him in half an hour. I can’t wait. He’s been a pain in the butt.

Well, it’s Friday. It’s been a day. It was actually very stressful. Today, there was a poorly executed psychiatric unit discharge plan for a family member. It put our family member at risk. My wife and I were beyond stressed all day. Finally, he’s been found and is going home. He may be coming to live with us (idk). It’s some really heavy stuff to deal with. My wife and I are disabled ourselves and trying to hold onto our own mental health as best we can.

@LadyShadow I’m glad mass went well and you met a Catholic friend. I haven’t been to mass in a couple of years, but want to go again.

@June08 That’s great that parents night went well. Hope the weekend is good.

Oh nice! I really like the 5th one too! Right now I’m reading a few different things. One is called Midnight at the Christmas Bookshop by Jenny Colgan, the other is the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Maas. It’s a large 8 book fantasy series. Just started book 2 of that. Sometimes I procrastinate with reading but once I start it’s hard to stop. It’s so relaxing

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Drank chamomile tea and took meds. I hope I sleep!

I had a good day today, I pretty much painted all day. It was a lot of fun! I’m glad I’m getting back into art again, really thoroughly enjoying it. I also am joining that art class I mentioned, they only open enrollment like twice a year and for a very limited time for like a week you have to sign up, after that it’s closed to any new members.So I’m enrolling on Monday, the deadline to enroll this time is the 26th. So I’m really excited about that! Should be a lot of fun and I’ll learn a lot. I plan on staying a member. Weekly live lessons are in the membership which is nice, plus lots of other stuff.

Glad it’s the weekend, I think next week when I grocery shop I’m gonna get some pumpkin spice coffee creamer for the fall season.

Hope you’re all enjoying the end of the week/start of the weekend

I plan on relaxing tonight and watching stuff on Netflix

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I have soo much work all day at work it’s a lot! It’s fast paced.
But I worry. They fire people for not keeping up so I’m hoping I catch on quick!

Hmmm I wonder if I get pumpkin spice creamer and add a bit to my morning chai?

I had another bad night. I can barely keep my eyes open. Finally dragged myself out at 10 am. But it took me hours to actually get dressed and ready to go to my PT appointment. When I got back I played 10,000 for a bit then had a supper of cheese, jello and Cheetos. I really need to go grocery shopping.

Looking forward to the cold front coming though. Temps in the 60’s for the next few days!