[shaggy76]

ever feel out of place when you see the modern day woman and especially mother that seems to have it all together. they jugle the husband, kids, work, the family and friends? i feel intimidated by these women. i know that i shouldn't but i can't seem to shake the feeling that "look if they can manage it all, howcome i can't pull it together to do those things? i don't seem to have the consistancy mentally, emotionally, and physically. it's so frustrating because with my ups and downs it's not motivating at all although i find other ways to be productive. i do what i can to stay up so that way when i'm down i have something positive to look forward to. but still am i less of a person if i like to stay home and take care of things around there? it's not that i'm lazy but it seems that i function better in my home inviornment where i'm not jepordizing a work place. plus i feel inadequate because of the way that i feel especially when i can't consentrate or focus. Am i the only one guys? this has really been bothering me and i can't seem to find an exeptable comfort zone to move on...comes with low self-esteem and lack of confidence. any advice is good advice, thank you

[RozG]

you ask are you the only one? definitely not! and as for the women you talk about....sorry if this doesn't help you but it's all i got...one of my closest friends is one of the type of women you mention here..successful in her career, high-flying, juggling everything with apparent ease...i used to envy her big time...

but you know what....after 6 years of knowing her she broke down one day and told me she wasn't what she looked like to the outside world...she was always exhausted, always feeling guilty, always struggling etc etc...she'd just learned to put on a good show.

my point is....there's no such thing as a perfect woman so never let yourself be fooled into thinking there is and NEVER let yourself feel inadequate coz some other woman APPEARS to be more perfect than you!!!

sorry if this is no help to you...but like i said...it's all i got.

((((shaggy))))

[shaggy76]

no kalamity jane that's good advice bacause i wonder if i'm in the safe about being in control or not adding too much on my plate. and that's exactly it i don't want to end up like that again, so if it means doing less and just focus on my family then i CAN take care of bussiness. i think that if i can handle staying home to take care of them then that's time well spent. espeicially when i have four children in school that also need counselling and therapy so a thank you for the advice always good to hear from you

[RozG]

you hit the nail on the yourself there.....do less and focus on your family...it's what YOU need that matters, NOT what the rest of the world wants!

[shaggy76]

you've done it again, you helped me confirm my inner question. helped me clearify all the pro's and con's mumbo jumbo and you are right, the ones i love mean the world to me so....i shouldn't feel guilty about wanting good family values for them. and just the same; at times it's the greatest job in the world and i'm good at it

[unpredictable]

I just wanted to say I agree with Jane. No women is perfect like that and the ones that appear that way are most likely hiding there own struggles. Being a Mom is enough of a job. If that is what you do that is a great thing by itself and adding more to your plate will not really benifit anyone. If you focus on your family you will do a great job. If you have to many things to do something will be sacrificed whether family time or the quality of your work.

[selfy]

i agree.
*hugs*
i have a high respect for any mother lol. id suck.
dot

[shaggy76]

thank you so much for your insight .it's nice to see that i'm not alone and that people think that someone trying to do their best is good enough and that it doesn't matter what society expects but what i expect of my family and myself. i do feel this burden weighing off post by post, again thank you

[shaggy76]

14 days ...congrates to you selfy. that's will power and good work. also thank you for the post i feel much better knowing that mothers are appreciated. it's the hardest job i'll ever have and even though i'm not your mother you brought some warmness to my heart and thank you for your encouragement