Inpatient Bipolar treatment

I am new hear and this is totally a different or shall I say only venue to speak about my bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed in 05. However like so many I have since learned, I didn't embrace my diagnosis and went off meds when I felt better or perhaps it was the narcissist in me that wouldn't allow myself to think that I was somehow defective.
I have hurt the only woman who has truly loved me. She gave me the most beautiful daughter. We were together for 7 years. My illness has caused my life to just be so screwed up. I have destroyed any trust I had with her, she said she will never get back with me and I am just crushed about losing my family. I know she is just hurt now but I need to fix my life. I have had 3 voluntary hospitalizations but I hated the atmosphere. I need to get into an impatient facility. I live in New York. Does anyone know of any? I need my life.

try 1-800-SUICIDE for direct help

or (212) 532-2400

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I am in New York, Long Island. I did find a place out in LA called Bridge to Recovery but I would imagine its probably 50k for a month, which my insurance would not cover. I just don't want to go into a hospital, its so much more depressing. I want to stay away from the typical clinical environment and also I have no interest in being in group therapy with drug addicts and truly insane people that they seem to just throw into. I want to go somewhere that specializes in depression and bi polar treatment.