[Sherryanne]

Ive been newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I am so scared and overwhelmed by the diagnosis. I was previously diagnosed with boderline personality disorder and traits of bipolar. But now Ive been rediagnosed with full blown bipolar.

I wasnt expecting it and now I guess I feel like Ive been giving a life sentence. I know enough about bipolar to know that it doesnt go away in a year or even ten years but youre kinda stuck with it for life and now I guess I have to adjust to the idea that I have a life long illness. I dont want to be sick, thats my biggest fear, but deep down I know I am sick. Everyone is telling me dont become your illness, its just a name.

But for me it feels so much more than a name. I guess Im just havin alot of different emotions and not really sure how to process it. Can anyone help me out?

[jbug]

I am also bipolar and borderline. So it is possible to be both. Not saying you are both though.

The person that says not to become your diagnosis was wise. You are not your diagnosis you are you. I still have days that overwhelm me and I have a hard time not being bipolar and letting the world think of me that way. It is hard but I believe you have the strength to overcome it.

Were you given any meds? The important thing is to stay on them even when you may feel better.

If you have any problems or questions feel free to PM me.

Jbug

[jamox01]

I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia a month ago and have had many different emotions about the whole thing. I have decided that being bipolar is just that and that I am going to try and control the illness and not let it control me. When I see my T we really don't even talk about being bipolar we basically talk about coping stratagies to which I can use when I feel down, depressed, angry, and fearful to list a few. If you put together coping stratagies to deal with different emotions and moods and start to use them they may not always work but it may help you to start turning some of the negative thoughts in to positive thoughts. I'm not sure that I said the right thing here but hopefully I did and it helps a little.

Have you tried Dialectical Behavioral Therapy? It is effective with both borderline & bipolar. I'm having great results with it (& medication). You also can learn a lot through the Peer-to-Peer class offered free of charge through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) & maybe look for a support group offered by DBSA (Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance).

My mother also had bipolar disorder & the treatments & medications available today are so much better. There is hope for a better quality of life.--Suzy

[Sherryanne]

Thank you for all the support. Yes I was prescribed medication in addition to the ones I was taking. So currently Im taking Risperdal, Effexor and Tegretol, but Im weaning off the Effexor. Im currently in therapy and have been for 3 years. I cant get Dbt cuz its not available here but I would like to have it.

I guess the reason Im so upset by all of this is because I think I have just realized that this is a life long disease and a life long fight and my issues wont just go away and my life will be nice and perfect. Thats hard to swallow. I guess I shouldnt be focusing on the name so much but I cant help it. Im just tired of being sick

[FlffyChic]

i am also newly diagnosed. the funny thing is that i was a mental health counselor for 4 years and worked with bipolar people. my problem in accepting what i have is that i have seen the severe cases. the ones with psychosis and i have always thought i might be but my symptoms were not as severe as the people i was working with. i just thought the anger and rage and irritibility i always struggled with was poor coping on my part. i had problems with promiscuity but i was always drunk at the time so i thought again, blame it on the alcohol. but my therapist told me that the urge to drink is a symptom of the mania and the poor judgment that went along with that was also a symptom. so now i have come to the conclusion that i do have this and i have accepted it. in response to your post about having a life sentence. the way i look at it is this : Thank God that this is an illness and it is not just you having a messed up life. Thank God that this illness has treatments that have been proven successful. i try to relate it to medical illnesses like a person with diabetes. that doesn't make you a bad person. you have symptoms and you take meds for them. the meds control the symptoms and you can still function. maybe that will help you with your acceptance. but please do not think this is your fault. i am guilty of thinking that i've done something wrong and i'm being punished but this is the illness talking. you can email me if you want to talk more. i was diagnosed in may but have had symptoms since i was a preteen. always in denial until now coming to terms with this. it's not a life sentence it is an opportunity to learn more about who you are. i think you can get my email from my profile if you like. if not respond on here should you want to talk.

[Sherryanne]

I think thats how I am. I was in a psych hospital last year and I saw alot of the extreme cases of bipolar. The ppl that you didnt even have to ask if they were bipolar because you knew by taking one look at them. I think I am so afraid of the diagnosis because I feel that it is confirming to my family that there is something wrong with me. That I have the problem and that Im the problem child (my family is really dysfunctional so both my T and I agree that Im not the only one with a problem but they dont seem to see it that way). I guess I just didnt envisage my life this way. Thanks for offering to talk, I really appreciate it from all of you all

[coil]

I have been in several psych hospitals. I have learned that bi-polar or not, we are still unique just like everyone else and can still do great things. There are plenty of very successful people who are Bi-Polar & Borderline. We are given so many labels in the world, granted.. many are needed but they should not define who we are, we define that. As for it confirming that there is something 'wrong' with you, I don't see it like that. You have a disorder, plenty of people have disorders and even the ones who do not, still encounter many problems in life. If anything, the problems we face are a challenge to conquer, each time we conquer something we become stronger and better people. There were times I would be in complete disarray and look at people passing by who seemed quite together and had a purpose in life, it would frustrate me to no end and I would think to myself 'Why can't I just be like everyone else, able to go with the flow with whatever comes my way?'. Over time, I realized that all those people I would notice walking by, could appear to be fine but every single person has something wrong with them and I wouldn't even consider it 'wrong', perfection is boring. You sound like a great person and you can overcome this and anything else you set your mind to. With the right medication, therapy as well as effort, you can do just fine. I have faith in you.

[theama]

Sherryanne, most bipolars go through the exact same thing as you when they get diagnosed. That it IS for life is a scary thought, but that doesn't mean that you'll SUFFER your whole life.

A diagnose IS just words, it doesn't change you, who you are or who you CAN be at all. The only thing it does it that it will help you a lot with getting better. You can't treat an illness if you don't know what you're dealing with, so consider this a fresh start.
Bipolars can, and do, live perfectly normal, healthy lives. Our treatment options are constantly improving and science has come a long way.

You should also know that it's a PHYSICAL disorder, not a mental one (that's why it's for life). So if your family points fingers, you can point back - considering that 90% of us are bipolar because of heritable genetics.

I suggest that you buy the books "Bipolar Disorder for dummies" and "The bipolar disorder survivor guide" for yourself and your family for christmas. They're really good!

[Liberada]

Originally Posted by theama

Sherryanne, most bipolars go through the exact same thing as you when they get diagnosed. That it IS for life is a scary thought, but that doesn't mean that you'll SUFFER your whole life.

A diagnose IS just words, it doesn't change you, who you are or who you CAN be at all. The only thing it does it that it will help you a lot with getting better. You can't treat an illness if you don't know what you're dealing with, so consider this a fresh start.
Bipolars can, and do, live perfectly normal, healthy lives. Our treatment options are constantly improving and science has come a long way.

You should also know that it's a PHYSICAL disorder, not a mental one (that's why it's for life). So if your family points fingers, you can point back - considering that 90% of us are bipolar because of heritable genetics.

I suggest that you buy the books "Bipolar Disorder for dummies" and "The bipolar disorder survivor guide" for yourself and your family for christmas. They're really good!

Bipolar Demystified by Lana R Castle and An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison are excellent resources!...whether one is bipolar or not!

[Bellax3]

Hi.
My only advice is to keep in mind that you are no different now then what you were before. You are still the same person, its just that now there is a name for what has been going on. You are still you, nothing has changed, don't think about it in terms of "now I'm sick" because you've always been sick. Think of it in terms of "now that I know what I've been sick with, I can treat it"

[Liberada]

Originally Posted by Bellax3

Hi.
My only advice is to keep in mind that you are no different now then what you were before. You are still the same person, its just that now there is a name for what has been going on. You are still you, nothing has changed, don't think about it in terms of "now I'm sick" because you've always been sick. Think of it in terms of "now that I know what I've been sick with, I can treat it"

yup... what Bella said.

[Sherryanne]

Thanks for the responses guys. Its funny because my sister said you're the only one with the problem and I said thats funny because chances are whatever I have you have it too so what does that say. Im trying not to think of myself as bipolar, just as a different person. Ive been given so many diagnoses Im a lil sick of them. But I really do appreciate the support.

[Moose72]

Hi. You've found a great site to post on! I've been here a couple years off and on. So much support and so many listening ears. I know the diagnosis is a shock, but I hope you come here to help you through the tougher times.

As for me, I was diagnosed two years ago and I'm still having issues adjusting to the disorder, although overall, I'm much better- usually. I'm currently having some big med issues- switching over from Depakote to Lithium because Depakote was NEVER up to theraputic blood levels and it finally stopped working. I started hearing voices again and more often. Without meds, I also saw people and heard voices. There's much more to my experience being bipolar, but basically I'm bipolar I with psychosis. In fact, a lot of my posts here are when I'm not feeling too well.