[dodgegal]

After four years of therepy and treatment for depression, my 21 year old daughter had a psych test and it shows she has borderline personality disorder. It is not surprising after researching symptoms, it fits her to a T. Back in August, after getting into situations that threatened her life, we blindsided her and shipped her off to her grandparents which live 250 miles away. It got her away from people she associated with, especially a 46 year old felon that she insisted that he was going to marry her. She started therapy with a new person down there, and after a few sessions, had the pscy test. Right now, things with my parents are very stressful and her situation is not helping. Her father and I are at our ends trying to figure out whether to leave her there and hope things will work out or what other option do we have? We are afraid that if she comes home, everything good that has built up will be dashed and she will go back to the way she was before. Anyone out there with a similar situation or any ideas for help?

[ECHOES]

What does she want to do? Is she working with a pyschodynamic psychotherapist to help her? She's an adult now and should be supported, but should be the one making the decisions in her life, choosing the direction she wants to go, and having the consequences that come with it.

Getting better is not a linear path. There are forward steps and sideways steps, mis-steps and back steps... but it is all part of the process of moving along. A good therapist helps so much. Changing one's life takes hard work and time.

[Perna]

I guess if I had to choose between my parents or my husband and myself figuring out what to do with our daughter, I'd make sure my parents weren't suffering. Now that I'm nearly 60, I understand just how much harder it is when one is older.

Like Echoes says, I'd see what my daughter said and also have a chat with everyone; parents, daughter, grandparents and, hopefully, whatever therapists and everyone see what could be come up with.

[lisa a]

i was in the same situation as ur daughter before i knew what i had and my mum sent me away and im now 23 and i will never forgive her for doing that 2me if u hav researched the symptoms they u will know abandonment is on ther n this is exactly what she will be feeling x im sorry if im being harsh im not saying u did the wrong thing by sending her away because i dont know the situation at the time n im sure u did what was best n tryed hard 2 deal with her. i know from my mum and what i watched her go through and it was all because of me i hated it. but i think she should be at home with her mum of her sake thats what every girl wants n needs but especialy in her situation she graves it more. sorry but thats my opinion. i think if my mum had taken me back then i would hav been alot better off than i am now x