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#1
Jul 16, 2010, 11:49 PM
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Hi, it's me again.
 lolBilli. Last Monday, I screwed up my nerve (I ALMOST DIDN"T GO) and went to a new therapist. She seemed to validate my history as an abuse survivor and treated my condition more like ptsd. I did not tell her about self-harm or suicidal history, just that I from time to time felt like ending it (doesn't everybody sometimes?) She made an appt. for me to her again in 2 weeks (this clinic will only pay for 2 appts a month, but that's better than nothing!) and to see the psyche doctor in Sept. I have enough meds till then, t goodness! Then Tuesday, I went to the dental specialst for my root canal. Big decay in tooth and they may have to extract this one too! OMG. If they do, I will actually be relieved, cause it will other wise involve lots of work. I am not looking forward to spending the whole summer in dental office! UGH. I don't do pain, either. I woulda posted this in Pain, but last time I did, no one responded. I am afaid everyone here (except maybe this forum) hates me cause I"m bpd. So I am no longer going to post anywhere else but the sleep and dream issues forum. anyway, I hope I won't have to bother the dentist with pain. Gum is still swollen and I always look forward to anyone finding out how needy and insecure I am and making it very clear what a pain I am! Want to thank you all for your support in previous post, "agitated".  Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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#2
Jul 17, 2010, 01:12 PM
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Hi billi,
not got any advice but wanted to send you a hug |
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#3
Jul 19, 2010, 07:47 AM
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HUGS Billi, I know what you mean about being a needy insecure pain
 I'M ONE
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 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#4
Jul 24, 2010, 12:53 AM
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ty!
B.
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
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#5
Jul 29, 2010, 11:03 AM
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Billi, when you posted:
I woulda posted this in Pain, but last time I did, no one responded. I am afaid everyone here (except maybe this forum) hates me cause I"m bpd. So I am no longer going to post anywhere else but the sleep and dream issues forum. anyway, I hope I won't have to bother the dentist with pain. Gum is still swollen and I always look forward to anyone finding out how needy and insecure I am and making it very clear what a pain I am! Want to thank you all for your support in previous post, "agitated". You were really invalidating yourself, but what you really need to do here is turn your mind toward non-avoidance. When you feel like you’re “afraid that everyone here (except maybe this forum) hates me cause you’re bpd. So you aren’t going to post anywhere else but the sleep and dream issues forum anymore,” that is an irrational judgment. You are unconsciously avoiding the feeling of “rejection,” but maybe on the grey-scale, someone didn’t know how to reply or didn’t have time, etc. Maybe they didn’t know if it fit into the category. Possibly try posting anything for “pain” in the link “NeuroTalk” which is a link in PsychCentral. It always works with me J. I hope that this helps a little bit and doesn’t get you aggitaed. I hope that this helped you, ~ dance59326
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment" Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#6
Jul 29, 2010, 12:06 PM
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Quote:
Please do not give me advice. I needed to report what was going on, not asking for any advice. Thank you. Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
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#7
Jul 29, 2010, 12:07 PM
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PS:
This is one reason I don 't do therapists anymore. I am tired of advice! I just really need ppl here to just identify with me. ty again, Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
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#8
Jul 29, 2010, 01:52 PM
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Billi,rant and vent as much as you need to, I empathize with your struggle,as I'm sure many on this forum do! I know how important it is to identify with another person, I myself mostly need it for validation,as my "issues" have been completely dismissed by people who were supposed to care! We are here to support you,we all need a support system in place. I'm sure dance wasn't being nasty,maybe just misplaced advice? IDK Please keep posting, I always look forward to your threads
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#9
Jul 29, 2010, 06:09 PM
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sorry billi
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment" Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#10
Jul 30, 2010, 02:53 PM
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Dance, I forgive you and apologize as well in case I was being harsh.
part of my process right now is to call things as I see them as I never learned to trust my own perceptions or my own way of thinking. I realize you are all trying to help. you are all beautiful, precious ppl! ty, peace, Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
 dance59326
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