[woj1]

so, I'm new to these forums. I have been having a very difficult time recently. My chihuahua puppy died of Parvo-Virus in November and I've never been able to cope with it. I have cried and cried and cried but i still just miss her so much. I feel so weak being a 28 year old man who cant get over a 2 lb puppy. That makes me feel even worse. The sadness has in the last month or so become intense anger, and I was getting into these crazy fights wit my ex girlfriend and other people. I pushed my ex-girlfriend away, burned the bridge while i was mad at her. TBH i wouldn't want to be around me either. I hadn't visited my pups grave since November, but i went yesterday and i have never been so filled with grief, not even when my father passed. I have felt like my boss hates me at work for quite some time, so i decided quitting my good paying easy job was a good idea yesterday and quit that too. I'm going to be out on the streets before I know it and I cant seem to pull myself together. I feel lost and hopeless.

In 1993, I lost a lab puppy from Parvo. It was a very, very hard time for me. What made it worse, I took the puppy to the vet who showed no compassion and who convinced me to put the puppy down due to our lack of money and inability to pay a huge hospital bill, but just a few months later I talked to someone who had treated their dog at home and their dog was able to pull through. It made me feel as though I'd killed my puppy! I also lived in a new place and had no one I could really talk to about it. The only thing that pulled me through was I was pregnant and the time and ended up getting very physically ill towards the end and I guess I couldn't cope with both so I got over it. It still bothers me to this day.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time and I don't have much advice for you other than life HAS to go on and that you're not alone with such feelings.

[greentires4me]

I am sorry you lost your puppy but don't be hard on yourself for crying its normal emotion should be felt in the time of grief.

But it will get better not sure when but it will get better and less and less tears will be shed.

maybe you have a good friend to talk to about this feeling of overwhelming sadness.

Hey woj,

I'm so sorry about your pup. You know, my dogs are my companions, my soulmates, my kindred spirits. They're so essential to our joy and well being (especially mentally) it's no wonder you feel so lost and full of grief.
I have felt the same (yes, over an animal) and there is nothing wrong with it. Honor your dog and honor your feelings, feel them and talk. Our animals give us SO much and it is a HUGE loss when they leave us. I understand completely.

Grieving is one of the hardest things we ever have to do. Every time I've felt it, I thought I was going to die from the emotional pain. I'm so sorry about your loss, it may not seem like much to say, but it gets easier, it really does.

Are you seeing a therapist by chance? A therapist could definitely help you cope with these feelings. If you're not in therapy, I would suggest trying it out.
It sounds like you're going through some huge changes, what with quitting your job and leaving your girlfriend. I just want to say that you're not alone in this.
I've been there and have felt completely full of fear. Keep coming here and talking with us, you're not alone.

[woj1]

I tried everything i could to save her. I spent $3500 on intensive vet hospitalization but she didnt pull through. After the bill hit $3500 i couldnt afford any bigger of a hit and they threw her out to me. She died in my home, while i was at work. I forgot to kiss her that morning when i left but thankfully came back and gave her all the love i could before i left.. i just knew she wasnt going to make it. I cant stop crying today, i feel helpless. I dont know how i am going to get a job feeling like this. I tried to go back to my old one but they wont have me. I cant afford to see a therapist right now as i have absolutely no source of income. I also havent had any luck with therapists in the past. After my dad died i went to the free counseling at my college and they got me into some support groups etc. None of it made me feel any better. I just dont know what to do. I cant believe i have destroyed my life like this in such a short period of time. I think the road to me feeling better is to just get all my grief for rikki out. I've never been more attached to anything in my life, and i lost her after only having her for 9 weeks, 1 of which was in the hospital.

[MissLadyRed]

I'm so sorry to hear about your puppy. Your grief is completely understandable. Pets are such an important part of our lives, sometimes we feel closer to them than the people around us. I cried non stop and fell into a deep depression when my cat of 17 years died. I honestly thought she was my best and only friend. Sorry you're having a hard time. Dealing with loss is such a difficult thing and everyone copes with it in different ways. I wish I could offer more words of comfort and support, but know we are all here for you. Sending hugs your way.

[yellowted]

pets have a way of getting into our hearts very quickly, losing a pet even one you have not long had is just as hard as losing a loved human. the grieving process is the same, crying and anger are all part of that. some people will say you should get over it and buy another pup, but they have no sense of real loss or love, be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve, try allowing yourself time during the evening to cry and grieve for your loss, gradually you will find yourself able to function during the day and grieve at night, then the grieving will begin to be less as acceptance takes over, you will not forget your pup, but will find it easier to live with in time. (hugs) x