[Girl_Interrupted]

It's so painful. I can't even make friends with the people I met in the DBT group today because it's against the rules to get close to them since it can interfere with therapy.

I just want a girlfriend again, lots of friends, not judging me because I act a bit weird. It's been 2 years now I've been single and just as long without friends I really hate it.

I've even gone and pushed away any online support I had somehow. I am tired of this all.

[kiki86]

i understand how you feel. i haven't had any real friends in years. it's very difficult but you're taking steps to making your life better and hopefully in time things will change. have you tried joining a volunteer group? i'm doing that. it's slow but hopefully some of the relationships might stick.

[Girl_Interrupted]

No I can't do any work because I find it stressful.

I just find out someone I quite cared about made me worry for nothing! She disappears offline for a month or 2 and I had to find out where she's been, turns out she thought I was being snappy and fed up with her, when it was nothing of the sort. She could have at least spoke to me about it, or just say she wasn't comfortable with how I made her feel, instead of making me think the worst like she's dead or something.

I was always happy when I saw her online and always spoke to her, yeah I might have been pre-occupied with something once or twice, but I was never snappy or fed up with her, and I'm pretty sure I would tell her if I was pre-occupied.

I'm so upset right now. I'm having it so hard and I want to overdose, just to self-harm myself. I wouldn't mind dying, but they'll probably kick me off the DBT course if I overdose when I've only just started it up.

[dillpickle1983]

I know how you feel, being lonely. I've been single for 2 years now, I haven't had even a possible partner pop up. I don't work because I find it too stressful and currently awaiting an outcome from SSD. I have OD'd in the past just to get attention because I was so lonely. I know the feeling all to well. You're not alone. I've often wondered if people would miss me if I was gone... Its not something I like to think about but sometimes I do. I have a hard time making friends because of the depression and bpd. Those friends that I do have aren't local, but they have stood by me when I implode, which is nice. I currently see my therapist once per week, and that's about all the social contact I get outside of my roommates. Even sometimes I can't stand to be around them too. Its a lose-lose battle in my opinion. I know how it hurts. I'm there.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Yeah I relate big time, I want friends, people around me, never been in a relationship, but do eventually want a boyfriend. But for some reason I just can't connect with people, my own age or right around my own age. Yet i get along with adults older than me, always have. Always have had poor social skill ever since I could remember, my parents tried, I was in Girl scouts through 7th grade, basketball in 4th, 5th and 6th grade, and started band in 6th grade, did it through high school, and still do marching band going into my third year of college marching band, yet i always find myself in a corner all bymyself not able to talk to others, even small talk is hard. I went out for a sority, but I think my lack of social skills and maturity made me not get a bid (everyone else did). Everyone says I don't try or I just push them away, and yes in some ways they're right, but in others they don't know how it makes me feel to try to connect with others, when I really don't know how to. I don't even know why I can't carry on a conversation with others why I act the way i do, other than it is just the way iam. Everyone thinks Im weird, I don't ever want to go out or anywhere etc. Sometimes I just don't want to go anywhere, sometimes I do, and I do have social anxiety, but I don't think it's all of my problem though, I think there is more to it, idk but I hate it a lot of times.