[Darkangelmosher]

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum and i wondered if anyone else was waiting for a diagnosis. Ive posted this in BPD as this is most likely what i have.

Im expecting a call off the mental health team on wednesday and i feel like im going to be fobbed off again with CBT. I had a psychatrist when i was 13 for the feelings i have and the self harm (which i am controlling but it takes it out of me). Does anyone know what i can say to actually see someone who can really help? I told my doctor all my symptoms and what i thought it was and she said the mental health team should have got in contact a long time ago.

Im struggling so much, this week has been awful, manage to fall out with 4 people. Patched things up wih 2 but 1 wont even speak to me and the other has asked me not to contact for a while. I just feel so alone. Xx

[Girl_Interrupted]

Honestly I wish I never got diagnosed with BPD, because no-one ever f**cking listens to me anymore in the MH profession! :@

[Darkangelmosher]

Originally Posted by Girl_Interrupted

Honestly I wish I never got diagnosed with BPD, because no-one ever f**cking listens to me anymore in the MH profession! :@

Im finding no-one listens to me anyway...kind of hoping when i finally get a diagnosis my family/friends etc will understand more. At the moment im the girl whos tapped in the head and needs locking away. Ive had the mh team fob me off 3 times in the past 2 years. Struggling to keep my family and friends. X

[layla11]

Hi Darkangelmosher, glad you posted, with my expierences I have to get down and dirty with them I will. If they dont call me I call them, If they dont listen to me I will let them know Im not going to put up with it. One thing that helps me is the saying to thyne own self be true and the thruth shall set you free. Put that anger where it belongs one of my old friends told me. If they arent helping you or treating you right let them know. Too bad if they dont like it.

If you're in the UK then i totally understand - i only got diagnosed after being treated in a private hospital although i knew for a very long time that i had a personality disorder. It took me a year to convince my psychiatrist that i needed a DBT programme so all i can say is if you're getting nowhere with your current psych either switch to someone else or ask to be referred to a specialist or even your local community personality disorder service. Perhaps speaking to them directly might help. Best of luck - this is a b itch of disorder to get treated so all i can say is don't give up.

[Darkangelmosher]

Thanks for the replies...Im in the UK in Lancashire and basically you tell your gp your symptoms which they send through to the mental health team. They then give you a call and tell you where/who they think you should see. Last time it was CBT, the guy messed my appointment up and i got thrown off the mental health teams list. Its taken me over a year just to get referred back to them.

I saw my psychiatrist about 4 times when i was 13 and tbh i dont know why i didnt carry on going...think i couldnt get there and my mum couldnt/wouldnt take me. I think im just going to have to demand to see someone professional this has been going on since 13, my mum even said she thought i had bipolar.

My symptoms are depression, sucicidal thoughts, intense relationships which i find hard to maintain, gambling, spending too much, anger, over emotional, mood swings, i dont know who i am (no ambition because i feel lost and like i dont belong) and my main problem fear of being alone...if i feel i will lose someone i do silly things like lock them in the house...i scare myself.

Originally Posted by Darkangelmosher

Thanks for the replies...Im in the UK in Lancashire and basically you tell your gp your symptoms which they send through to the mental health team. They then give you a call and tell you where/who they think you should see. Last time it was CBT, the guy messed my appointment up and i got thrown off the mental health teams list. Its taken me over a year just to get referred back to them.

I saw my psychiatrist about 4 times when i was 13 and tbh i dont know why i didnt carry on going...think i couldnt get there and my mum couldnt/wouldnt take me. I think im just going to have to demand to see someone professional this has been going on since 13, my mum even said she thought i had bipolar.

My symptoms are depression, sucicidal thoughts, intense relationships which i find hard to maintain, gambling, spending too much, anger, over emotional, mood swings, i dont know who i am (no ambition because i feel lost and like i dont belong) and my main problem fear of being alone...if i feel i will lose someone i do silly things like lock them in the house...i scare myself.

If you get nowhere with your CMHT (which seems likely unfortunately) i would contact your local community personality disorder service and see if they can advise you as to what to do. To be honest your symptoms sound textbook borderline but only a specialist will be able to tell you for sure. There is no medicine for BPD (well, none that has been shown to work all that well), most eventually get put onto a dialectical behavioural therapy programme. Again these are exceptionally difficult to get onto in my experience but if you are diagnosed as being borderline this is really the only thing that has been shown to work (along with MBT, but there are few treatment programmes who use this method). I wish you all the best and all i can really say is don't give up - check out this site too, our DBT group uses this website for information all the time; dbtselfhelp.com

I only discovered BPD back in February and have not yet been officially diagnosed, but when I read the traits the very first time it was like a light going off. It was a relief knowing that the lifelong problems I've had actually had a name and that I wasn't alone. I have had all nine traits at some time during my life. I am waiting for insurance to get straightened out to hopefully finally get some actual help. As for family, I've gotten no support at all. I showed the traits to my husband and attempted to explain how it fit me and he pooh-poohed it saying that depending on how you interpret the traits, anyone could be BPD. ~sigh~

I would go back to your GP and demand that he/she chases the appointment up for you.
It is out of order that you have waited so long, I am in the uk too. It can be a nightmare I have recently started therapy and I am not sure what I think of it Lol.

[Psychochick]

I think I'd prefer almost any diagnosis to that of BPD, but it is what it is. I hope you can get your dx and treatment straightened out and get the help you need. I live in the US and since I can't hold down a job (yay me ) I am on disability: SSI and Medicaid. Medicaid will only pay for me to go to the local mental health center and no one there is trained in DBT and I can't afford it on my own, so I am in the rather ridiculous position of having BPD, being on disability for *ahem* "emotional problems", and being denied access to the one treatment most likely to help me. Yep, the American system of health care is nothing if not totally illogical!

On the bright side...if I finally do go utterly and totally bonkers, the US health system will have no one but themselves to blame.

[Darkangelmosher]

Thanks again everyone for your replies. Well i spoke to the mental health team who said my doctor wanted me to go for an assessment to basically see which area of the mental health team i need to see. Down side is theres an 18 week waiting list before they see me to decide where i will go. That takes us to christmas.

Has anyone found they are more angry/agressive or over react more when u have missed antidepressants etc? Im on 60mg of citalopram and im usually not too bad on it but yet when i miss a pill, i turn into some sort of psycho who over reacts and lashes out. I get this other times but 8 out of 10 times it happens when i miss a pill. X

[OctobersBlackRose]

Tomorrow after 20 years of waiting and not knowing, a 2hr consultation and 6hrs or neuropsychological testing I will get some sort of diagnosis or at least some answers. I don't know really what I could or couldn't really have they only gave me 1 actual personality assesment after talking with my parents and I whom have different opinions and views about my mental state (neither of their faults0 as they're divorced and my dad is a exectutive chef has been for as long as I can remember so he works anywhere fron 4 to 20hr days, and my mom is a stay at home mom with my stepdad and currently i live with and take care of my grandparents. As there is no room at my mom's house and it is somewhat of a calmer environment with my grandparents. So basically they got 3 conflicting view points on me, and I am truely nervous about tomorrow and a bit scared as to what the results could be. Especially if it is BPD or another personality disorder no offense to anyone n this thread as you all have been extremely supportive with my posts. But worried about how others would treat me especially within the MH feild being in the US and on government insurance. But i don't or won't know until tomorrow

And all I can say to anyone is keep trying to get help, to find the answers and find someone willing to give you the un-biased support you all need

[Girl_Interrupted]

Originally Posted by Darkangelmosher

Thanks again everyone for your replies. Well i spoke to the mental health team who said my doctor wanted me to go for an assessment to basically see which area of the mental health team i need to see. Down side is theres an 18 week waiting list before they see me to decide where i will go. That takes us to christmas.

Has anyone found they are more angry/agressive or over react more when u have missed antidepressants etc? Im on 60mg of citalopram and im usually not too bad on it but yet when i miss a pill, i turn into some sort of psycho who over reacts and lashes out. I get this other times but 8 out of 10 times it happens when i miss a pill. X

Citalopram is rubbish! I was on it, didn't help at all. Find something else! D: