[Atypical_Disaster]

^ Same here. Completely infuriated, can't express it how I want to so I'm just sitting here seething.

Also scared to death that everyone here hates me now because I'm a self-sabotaging borderline freak. UGH.

Broke down crying this morning but then done some retail therapy.

Atypical_Disaster, I can assure you that no one here hates you but I do understand your feelings

[BorderlineMess]

I know I don't hate you, Atypical.

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Also scared to death that everyone here hates me now because I'm a self-sabotaging borderline freak. UGH.

Why would anyone here hate you since most everyone else pretty much thinks the same of themselves. Meaning they probably feel like Borderline freaks too!

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Why would anyone here hate you since most everyone else pretty much thinks the same of themselves. Meaning they probably feel like Borderline freaks too!

This is very true

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

^ Same here. Completely infuriated, can't express it how I want to so I'm just sitting here seething.

Also scared to death that everyone here hates me now because I'm a self-sabotaging borderline freak. UGH.

Yay!! I'm not the only one paranoid!! That is meant in a NICE way! Welcome home! We are a very kind, loving, yet dysfunctional family!

[BeautifullyDeprived]

Check in? Sure, I need a place to vent..I feel really rejected. My teacher (that I call my brother) hasn't been able to speak to me. I don't know if it's due to his busy schedule or he's avoiding me but this morning he said sorry as he passed by me..should I accept his apology..he's very near and dear to my heart but I'm highly upset at him..I feel so clingy though..

[Atypical_Disaster]

Thank you all, you guys are really kind. I feel a lot less lonely, talking with all of you.

My mood is um, everywhere. I was really angry earlier and now I feel scared and panicky. I know it's going to change a few more times before it's dark outside and that is infuriating me all over again. Gah this s*** never ends.

Yay!! I'm not the only one paranoid!! That is meant in a NICE way! Welcome home! We are a very kind, loving, yet dysfunctional family!

lol, thanks Maranara you made me giggle and actually smile!

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Thank you all, you guys are really kind. I feel a lot less lonely, talking with all of you.

My mood is um, everywhere. I was really angry earlier and now I feel scared and panicky. I know it's going to change a few more times before it's dark outside and that is infuriating me all over again. Gah this s*** never ends.


lol, thanks Maranara you made me giggle and actually smile!

Knowing you're not alone DOES help. Be patient with yourself and give it time. I was in a much worse place when I first came here... Things are not perfect and I still have a lot of bad days, but it's nothing compared to when I first found PC. It's been a lifesaver.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Thank you, patience is not a virtue of mine but I'll try. I'm glad being here has helped you. I joined here awhile ago but I haven't been all that active for a lot of reasons, I'm trying to break that cycle and stop isolating myself so much.

[BeautifullyDeprived]

So today was a little weird, lately I felt like my teacher (I call him my BROTHER) has been avoiding me..I don't know if it's because of his busy schedule or he's just flat out avoiding me. This morning, as he passed me he said sorry. I don't know though..should I accept his apology or continue on with being upset?. he's quite near and dear to my heart but he frustrates me...

[Atypical_Disaster]

I'm not the best person to ask for any kind of interpersonal relationship advice for obvious reasons. But I can relate to how you feel, and I'm sorry. I know it's awful to feel that way and not really know what to do with it/about it.

I hate nights. It never fails that the loneliness and self-hate settles in and my thinking won't let me sleep. Happens almost every night.

[AngelWolf3]

I am so flippin confused right now. That is all.

idk what I am right now. i know i'm not dead.

[BorderlineMess]

I'm tired. I'm lonely. I'm scared. I'm worried. I want to be at home, in my pjs, in my bed, with my doggie, watching Netflix or Hulu. I'm ready for the week to be over.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I'm lonely and furious. I hate people and I hate myself. I hate that it's so f**king simple for other people, that they can seriously just get up and go to work/school and function with no issues... and then they can just lie down at night and fall asleep without tossing and turning and wanting to die the whole time and then not actually get much rest like me. I f**king hate this.

Bad thoughts creeping in.

[BeautifullyDeprived]

Pretty Exhausting day today as well, my emotions were on the rollercoaster times ten today. I would be EXTREMELY upset (rapid breathing and all) to mellow then to offended then to feeling rejected then to feeling hyper, I always question my sanity..I don't know if you guys do as well but It freaks me out, I don't feel like everyone is on that rollercoaster so I single myself out..it's giving me a headache. enough of me, it's not important..how's everyone? if I may ask?

Working too much...my mind is starting to wander and I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. Gotta love the rollercoaster!

I got proof that I'm really messed up today. lol. Yeah after my ridiculous grumbling and throwing a hissy fit, I seem to be much better this morning. Of course I also got a Venti Espresso at Sbux today so I'm on that synthetically induced mania too haha.

[BorderlineMess]

Alright, I need to get this out. You don't describe someone as fat in a professional setting. You don't say, I was talking with the "kinda fat girl up front." You say, I was talking with the blonde girl, or the tall guy, or the girl with glasses. You pick something that is descriptive without being offensive. In fact, "secretary up front" pretty much singles me out because I'm the only one up front, you self-righteous idiot. I don't care that you have a "fat twin sister" and they call you the "skinny one" to differentiate the two of you. Your sister probably hates to be called the "fat one" anyways. But people are too ignorant and when you call them out on it, they expect you to forgive them. Sorry, no, I will not just forgive your ignorance. I'll pretend to, but don't expect anything more than professional courtesy from me. Don't expect me to ever go out of my way for you again. You are now on my s*** list and no amount of you saying "that's just the way I am" will get you off of it. You said something that offended me. Take ownership of that. Apologize appropriately.

Now that that's off my chest, I will refuse to think about you the rest of day. *off to listen to music and work*

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

Alright, I need to get this out. You don't describe someone as fat in a professional setting. You don't say, I was talking with the "kinda fat girl up front." You say, I was talking with the blonde girl, or the tall guy, or the girl with glasses. You pick something that is descriptive without being offensive. In fact, "secretary up front" pretty much singles me out because I'm the only one up front, you self-righteous idiot. I don't care that you have a "fat twin sister" and they call you the "skinny one" to differentiate the two of you. Your sister probably hates to be called the "fat one" anyways. But people are too ignorant and when you call them out on it, they expect you to forgive them. Sorry, no, I will not just forgive your ignorance. I'll pretend to, but don't expect anything more than professional courtesy from me. Don't expect me to ever go out of my way for you again. You are now on my s*** list and no amount of you saying "that's just the way I am" will get you off of it. You said something that offended me. Take ownership of that. Apologize appropriately.

Now that that's off my chest, I will refuse to think about you the rest of day. *off to listen to music and work*

AWWW I'm sorry you had to deal with that insensitive jerk. here's a big bearhug for you (((((((borderlinemess))))))

[BorderlineMess]

I'm done with being crazy. Please let me off the ride.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I hate bpd.

I hate bpd.

I especially hate how the bad thoughts keep trying to take over. Esp the one that keeps insidiously, incessantly, saying, "Nobody likes you, Carol."

I also hate nights. I wish I could stay awake all the time. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to love. I don't want to dream. I don't want to toss and turn.

I am falling in love again.

I hate it.

Carol