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#1
Sep 19, 2013, 01:11 PM
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T told me she wants to go down to only seeing me once a week... I know that should be good, because that means I'm doing alright, but, being me, I totally shut down... How could she not want to see me? This was the same appointment where she kept saying "well, you're just using these tools wrong" and right after she answered "no, I do not hug" and telling me that she can't email me because its not secure until I fill out this form that she has to send me first, but still hasn't... I've already been having a terrible week, including having my first panic attack on Tuesday, and that triggered another one (I just switched meds, I'm going back Monday to get them straightened out... I never used to get panic attacks)... I just hate seeing myself going back to this never ending downward spiral that I should be able to handle....
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“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" |
 allme, Anonymous200125, Anonymous37872, gayleggg, Luvmydog
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#2
Sep 19, 2013, 01:41 PM
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Oh man, that sounds like it was a rough appointment. Like the adage, when it rains, it pours.
 Now, though, you need to take a deep breath. Change is hard for anyone, but especially hard when you are facing so many trigger points. The change in meds, the change in frequency of appts, the change in having panic attacks, these things are temporary. The fact that you've met people in here that care about you, and that try to help in any way is not temporary. I hope that this week gets easier until you meet to get your meds straightened out. I hope that you find comfort in knowing that we are here for ya, and willing to listen.
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... am I part of the cure, or am I part of the dis-ease? --Coldplay |
 IGotThis
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#3
Sep 19, 2013, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
__________________
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" |
| Luvmydog
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#4
Sep 19, 2013, 01:48 PM
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Don't let your thoughts send you down that road. You'll probably feel much better when they get you meds straightened out.
I imagine she just forgot about emailing you the forms. You should ask again. Mainly, try to use some methods of slowing your brain down and don't let it run away with you. Try some breathing excerises or write in a journal. Just keep telling yourself you will be okay.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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#5
Sep 19, 2013, 01:54 PM
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I'm sorry the appointment didn't go so well today
You would be surprised how quickly you adjust to only seeing her once a week. That becomes the norm  I only see mine every other week, I'm used to that now, was a bit of a shock at first but it seems to work, some weeks harder than others but I can call him if I need to set up another appointment. I'm sure your therapist would be accomodating of an earlier appointment if you felt like you needed one sooner.The fact that you're changing meds right now is enough in itself to mess things up for a bit. This is one of those horrible times where you just have to ride the storm until it gets sorted out. Thats where we come in keep posting here whenever you need to and I'm sure we will all be willing to help You'll be ok, I promise.
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#6
Sep 19, 2013, 01:58 PM
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That must be really difficult for you with all these changes. maybe next session you should tell your therapist how what she made you feel? I hope you can get your meds on track though because that could definitely be adding to your problems. We're all here to help!
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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#7
Sep 19, 2013, 02:41 PM
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I sent another email asking her to send them this morning, still nothing...
My problem is that while I love my therapist, and do trust her for the most part, I am so scared to talk to her about my feelings regarding her... She makes me do thought records to keep track of what I am thinking/feeling in the moment, and I always do one mid-appointment, but she has never seen any of those because I don't want her to take it wrong and hate me for it.... It doesn't help anything that I've been having awful nightmares, and I'm doing things that are so normal for me, but instead of reacting like "normal" people, everybody else reacts like me... It's not fun... I know I'll get through it, it's just hard as hell believing it at times... Thank you guys for being here for me
__________________
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" |
| Anonymous200125, GeorgiaGirl413
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#8
Sep 20, 2013, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
 Hang in there sweetie
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I have heard about your "normal" and it does not sound like fun to me. |
| IGotThis
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#9
Sep 20, 2013, 11:06 PM
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Interesting post! I can relate to everything you said - word for word. Perhaps that's space for insight. My therapist I fell in love with - she set boundaries and helped me in anyway she could. She also didn't see me more than once per week despite my clawing at the finger nails - scrambling for her support... She said she would call me 2 years after our last session - a promise she made to me in exchange for my willingness not to commit suicide... She never called. She never allowed me to communicate with her again. She also promised an email outlet - but nope. Never happened.
I could take it personally - I have and still do. But I know she did what was best for me. Last edited by Wren_; Sep 21, 2013 at 04:08 AM. Reason: Added trigger icon |
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#10
Sep 21, 2013, 06:53 AM
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I would be flipping ***** if she promised to call and didn't, and didn't open that email communication... If those were boundaries she was going to stick to, then she should have never promised otherwise. That's just my opinion, I guess... Whether it was best for you or not, as a support person, and especially one you trusted, making and breaking those promises is not a good idea...
__________________
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" |
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