[allme]

When I do something distasteful, or deemed socially wrong, I blame my BPD and it makes me feel better, like it's not really my fault.

Is this wrong of me? Should I be taking more responsibility?

[Trippin2.0]

Hey allme

Idk what you "should" be doing, but I choose to take ownership for my actions, even the bpd ones. I don't do it because I'm some type of mental goody2 shoes, but because it makes me feel empowered.

Logic dictates that if I assume responsibility, I have the ability, and the power to change my behaviour in future.

The opposite action of "whoops it wasn't meee" only leads to repeating said mistake or behaviour in the not too distant future. All the while driving everyone away because I will obviously never change my behaviour. Afterall its not my fault, I have no control or responsibility, its bpd's fault and bpd is here to stay...

So that's just what I do and why.

[A Red Panda]

I'm not BPD, but I am bipolar.

I opt for taking ownership over eeeevveeerrrythinng (I have the opposite problem from you I think - I blame myself for things that are by far NOT my doing). But when it comes to my bipolar actions, those are me. Ultimately I made that decision - even if I was influenced by the bipolar. Just like when I'm drunk - I might be drunk, but I still made my decisions. (Difference being that I also made the choice to be drunk whereas I don't choose when to have a depression or hypomania!).

Like Trippin - when I take ownership of things, I feel more in control and have been more able to focus on changing the behaviour. Like.. when I'm in an up I might WANT to spend alllllll the monies on random things. If I didn't take responsibility for myself and my actions, I'd likely go broke. Instead, I have set up the guideline that if I want something expensive I need to wait a few months and see if I still want it (I did this in regards to getting a tattoo this year! I decided on it in September and didn't get the tattoo until July).

[Fuzzybear]

......
(sorry no words, agree that taking ownership facilitates change

Not a good idea to blame your disorder for anything. Granted it complicates things and sometimes is the cause of us reeling into a tailspin, but it still remains our responsibility to pull out of that spin and regain control. It's when we just say "oh well it's my bpd" when we let that spin continue on a path of destruction.

It's like a blind man doing nothing to accommodate himself for his disability. Since he's blind he has the tools to do things in such a way that he can still get on in life. Its like that blind man sitting at home and starving to death because he can't find the kitchen.

[allme]

Thanks all! I guess I just don't want to own up to my actions....but BPD has to take some responsibility no? I mean, I would be a lovely person without it. But I get what you're all saying, I must take responsibility in order to take control and change my actions. They are just so deep rooted I fear I will never take control let alone responsibility. Taking responsibility I fear will lead me believing I am an awful person

Thanks for words of wisdom and hugs...need both today

Originally Posted by allme

Thanks all! I guess I just don't want to own up to my actions....but BPD has to take some responsibility no? I mean, I would be a lovely person without it. But I get what you're all saying, I must take responsibility in order to take control and change my actions. They are just so deep rooted I fear I will never take control let alone responsibility. Taking responsibility I fear will lead me believing I am an awful person

Thanks for words of wisdom and hugs...need both today

Taking responsibility is the opposite of being an awful person. The awful person would sit back and let it all happen,say "woe is me" and all that other stuff and never even try to change things.

One is not a lovely person only becuase they are disorder free. NO one is perfect, disorders or not. Being "lovely", "good", "nice" and all that does not have to be mutually exclusive with having a disorder.

The bpd can't take responsibility for anything, it's just a set of traits that describe your disorder. It does not make you who you are or anything. You are who you are in spite of those traits. Otherwise everyone with BPD would be exactly the same or nearly so and we aren't. It's the individual in you that makes you YOU.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Taking responsibility is the opposite of being an awful person. The awful person would sit back and let it all happen,say "woe is me" and all that other stuff and never even try to change things.

One is not a lovely person only becuase they are disorder free. NO one is perfect, disorders or not. Being "lovely", "good", "nice" and all that does not have to be mutually exclusive with having a disorder.

The bpd can't take responsibility for anything, it's just a set of traits that describe your disorder. It does not make you who you are or anything. You are who you are in spite of those traits. Otherwise everyone with BPD would be exactly the same or nearly so and we aren't. It's the individual in you that makes you YOU.

I agree wholeheartedly

[allme]

Yeah....thanks