More and more talking to people here, there is no denying that we have a lot in common with our issues in life and with our emotions, relationships and such. I don't ever doubt that the list of traits is innacurate accurate in its description and even in it's treatments for those that need it.

What bothers me, is that the more I see the multitudes of people that seem to "suffer" from the things I do the more I dislike the term "disorder". I'd feel much better if it were considered a personality type more rather than a disorder.

After all, even as the behaviors may be troublesome and disruptive to our lives, do any of the traits really mean that one is "disordered", "broken" or "not right" in some way? Emotional "Dysregulation" to me is just saying that people tend to be more emotional, overreact to things. Does that mean that having a highly emotional personality means there is something wrong with you? I am not in any way saying that we dont' need help coping and managing them but really is it a bad thing to be emotional?

While i understand that this is just one thing it's just a single example for how I feel that calling bpd a disorder is inaccurate in my mind. Granted, we have a lot of troubles but then a lot of others do too.

I'm a quite capable person, articulate (I think) and relatively intelligent. I have held down careers for many years, I have managed to get through a big relationship break up after over a decade and have been able to get myself re-booted in life, so-to-speak. Being called someone that suffers from a "disorder" is difficult in the face of this. I don't feel less than other people, and disorder seems to make me feel as if I am perceived as "broken" or less than perfect in comparison to others. Of course then again, I'm also one not to judge and expect others to do the same and with that thought I dare anyone without bpd to cast the first stone at me.

I am not proud of my "disorder" nor am I saying I'm special because of it, but I just feel that I wish others would see my traits as different, not worse.

/end rant

[Luvmydog]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

More and more talking to people here, there is no denying that we have a lot in common with our issues in life and with our emotions, relationships and such. I don't ever doubt that the list of traits is innacurate accurate in its description and even in it's treatments for those that need it.

What bothers me, is that the more I see the multitudes of people that seem to "suffer" from the things I do the more I dislike the term "disorder". I'd feel much better if it were considered a personality type more rather than a disorder.

After all, even as the behaviors may be troublesome and disruptive to our lives, do any of the traits really mean that one is "disordered", "broken" or "not right" in some way? Emotional "Dysregulation" to me is just saying that people tend to be more emotional, overreact to things. Does that mean that having a highly emotional personality means there is something wrong with you? I am not in any way saying that we dont' need help coping and managing them but really is it a bad thing to be emotional?

While i understand that this is just one thing it's just a single example for how I feel that calling bpd a disorder is inaccurate in my mind. Granted, we have a lot of troubles but then a lot of others do too.

I'm a quite capable person, articulate (I think) and relatively intelligent. I have held down careers for many years, I have managed to get through a big relationship break up after over a decade and have been able to get myself re-booted in life, so-to-speak. Being called someone that suffers from a "disorder" is difficult in the face of this. I don't feel less than other people, and disorder seems to make me feel as if I am perceived as "broken" or less than perfect in comparison to others. Of course then again, I'm also one not to judge and expect others to do the same and with that thought I dare anyone without bpd to cast the first stone at me.

I am not proud of my "disorder" nor am I saying I'm special because of it, but I just feel that I wish others would see my traits as different, not worse.

/end rant

I agree that you are an articulate, intelligent, and caring man. That is certainly beyond question, but as many have said, I am not my BPD. Personally, I think that the term "disorder" fits better than "dysregulation," or "dysfunction." The thing is that those with a simple personality type, do not tend to go to the extremes that I do. Those with an "emotional personality type," would not wind up in counselling, Inpatient or Oupatient, as I have. I do not wear the "disorder" as a badge of honor, shame, or courage, but for me, it fits on my sleeve.

Originally Posted by Luvmydog

I agree that you are an articulate, intelligent, and caring man. That is certainly beyond question, but as many have said, I am not my BPD. Personally, I think that the term "disorder" fits better than "dysregulation," or "dysfunction." The thing is that those with a simple personality type, do not tend to go to the extremes that I do. Those with an "emotional personality type," would not wind up in counselling, Inpatient or Oupatient, as I have. I do not wear the "disorder" as a badge of honor, shame, or courage, but for me, it fits on my sleeve.

I am saying even as I agree that people go to extremes, disorder, dysregulation, dysfunction seems to say that someone has something wrong with them and I don't like to think that there is anything "generally" wrong with me. I have issues, true.. just like you but then I just feel that it's not all that abnormal. there are so many with it, is it realy that that many people are "messed up" this way (for lack of a better description)

I feel better knowing this is a disorder rather than a personality type...

A lot of therapists no longer utilize the diagnosis of Borderline because it can be so damaging to the person ... Many now assign PTSD or C-PTSD to folks because there isn't quite so much stigma surrounding those as there is BPD.

Either way, we didn't get to any of these diagnoses without experiencing some kind of repetitive traumas so early in life that our little minds couldn't wrap themselves around it ...

By the way, I think you're an awesome dude no matter what your diagnosis!

[GeorgiaGirl413]

If it keeps me from living the kind of life that I want to live, and mine does, then it is a disorder. It has caused chaos, hurt feelings, made me lose jobs. This is NOT just some variation of normal. That said, my T describes me as "high-functioning" meaning that my level of intelligence and education have allowed me to function somewhat better in the real world than others with BPD. And I can certainly see that in these forums. There are some who post here who seem much less able to cope than others. Less able to cope than I am, and I did not think that that was even possible when I first got here. My heart just breaks for these folks.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

A lot of therapists no longer utilize the diagnosis of Borderline because it can be so damaging to the person ... Many now assign PTSD or C-PTSD to folks because there isn't quite so much stigma surrounding those as there is BPD.

Either way, we didn't get to any of these diagnoses without experiencing some kind of repetitive traumas so early in life that our little minds couldn't wrap themselves around it ...

By the way, I think you're an awesome dude no matter what your diagnosis!

I told my T I thought I was borderline and she said "I agree". I asked her when she was going to tell me. She said she wasn't sure that she ever was because of the stigma around it. As I have said, it was very freeing to me to finally have a diagnosis. I had been doing all the wrong things to try and get better. Now I could start doing the right things, and I AM BETTER. Not cured by a long shot, but better!!!!

Originally Posted by Pfrog

A lot of therapists no longer utilize the diagnosis of Borderline because it can be so damaging to the person ... Many now assign PTSD or C-PTSD to folks because there isn't quite so much stigma surrounding those as there is BPD.

Either way, we didn't get to any of these diagnoses without experiencing some kind of repetitive traumas so early in life that our little minds couldn't wrap themselves around it ...

By the way, I think you're an awesome dude no matter what your diagnosis!

tHANK YOU

YEAH i've had pdocs that would not dx me at all..

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

If it keeps me from living the kind of life that I want to live, and mine does, then it is a disorder. It has caused chaos, hurt feelings, made me lose jobs. This is NOT just some variation of normal. That said, my T describes me as "high-functioning" meaning that my level of intelligence and education have allowed me to function somewhat better in the real world than others with BPD. And I can certainly see that in these forums. There are some who post here who seem much less able to cope than others. Less able to cope than I am, and I did not think that that was even possible when I first got here. My heart just breaks for these folks.

I guess it's my rebellious, anti statistic, anti sterotype nature. It's not that I don't agree taht people have troubles that need to have remedied. I just refuse to look at those without my issues as "normal" period. The term itself for me is just too ambiguous. I understand your perspective, and what I mean is there is a "type of " person with these traits and they tend to seem to need more help with life issues. I just dont know if we're worse off than what would be called by some as "the rest of the world".

Part of my grand scheme of things in my brain. Everything is relative, if one doesn't suffer from a disorder, they have struggles elsewhere. I just dont' believe that the guy "over there" has it all together or is better off than me, of course the opposite is true also, I konw i'm not better off than him either.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I told my T I thought I was borderline and she said "I agree". I asked her when she was going to tell me. She said she wasn't sure that she ever was because of the stigma around it. As I have said, it was very freeing to me to finally have a diagnosis. I had been doing all the wrong things to try and get better. Now I could start doing the right things, and I AM BETTER. Not cured by a long shot, but better!!!!

I do agree I've learned a lot because of my Dx and am better off. I just cringe at "disorder"

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I guess it's my rebellious, anti statistic, anti sterotype nature. It's not that I don't agree taht people have troubles that need to have remedied. I just refuse to look at those without my issues as "normal" period. The term itself for me is just too ambiguous. I understand your perspective, and what I mean is there is a "type of " person with these traits and they tend to seem to need more help with life issues. I just dont know if we're worse off than what would be called by some as "the rest of the world".

Part of my grand scheme of things in my brain. Everything is relative, if one doesn't suffer from a disorder, they have struggles elsewhere. I just dont' believe that the guy "over there" has it all together or is better off than me, of course the opposite is true also, I konw i'm not better off than him either.

There is a statistical norm and there are those who fall outside that norm in ALL areas of life. Now, whether or not those who fall within the norm are normal or not is another question. I know one thing for sure. God made me the way that I am and He loves me the way that I am, but that does not mean that I cannot be better, in many many areas. Perhaps those of us with "disorders" are the ones most blessed because we know we have issues we need to work on. All those normal people out there are just wandering around thinking they are A-OK when we know they are not. I would challenge anyone I know to go through the list of forums here and not find someplace where they would fit in. But, we all have to function in the real world and the bottom line is that some of us have a really, really hard time with that.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

There is a statistical norm and there are those who fall outside that norm in ALL areas of life. Now, whether or not those who fall within the norm are normal or not is another question. I know one thing for sure. God made me the way that I am and He loves me the way that I am, but that does not mean that I cannot be better, in many many areas. Perhaps those of us with "disorders" are the ones most blessed because we know we have issues we need to work on. All those normal people out there are just wandering around thinking they are A-OK when we know they are not. I would challenge anyone I know to go through the list of forums here and not find someplace where they would fit in. But, we all have to function in the real world and the bottom line is that some of us have a really, really hard time with that.

well I don't listen to many statistics tbh but all in all I dont' disagree with this reply. whether or not those falling in the statistical norm are normal or not. I question that

and your statement that those with "disorders" could be blessed since we are motivated to change and fix ourselves, i totally agree.

and I've said something similar to the effect that there are those that go through life with a diagnosis and those that go through life basically thinking they are fine. Both possibly have some challenges, but only one is aware of his.

[Ultra Darkness]

Disorder: n. An unbeneficial lack of order.

This is my definition of disorder. Now, my brother always tells me that I can't just make up my own definitions for words, but there are just too many nuances to play with.

I could say more, but it wouldn't be relevant to BPD. It would just be the reasoning of a Chaotic mind.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Disorder: n. An unbeneficial lack of order.

This is my definition of disorder. Now, my brother always tells me that I can't just make up my own definitions for words, but there are just too many nuances to play with.

I could say more, but it wouldn't be relevant to BPD. It would just be the reasoning of a Chaotic mind.

it's what makes you YOU. your own personal definitions in life are what makes a person unique. Now not everyone vocalizes their own personal definitions, but we all have them

can I slap your brother yet?

Originally Posted by Pfrog

A lot of therapists no longer utilize the diagnosis of Borderline because it can be so damaging to the person ... Many now assign PTSD or C-PTSD to folks because there isn't quite so much stigma surrounding those as there is BPD.

Either way, we didn't get to any of these diagnoses without experiencing some kind of repetitive traumas so early in life that our little minds couldn't wrap themselves around it ...

By the way, I think you're an awesome dude no matter what your diagnosis!

I've never had trauma but I've been diagnosed with bpd...

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

I've never had trauma but I've been diagnosed with bpd...

I'm not sure how you could have BPD with no trauma. But maybe....

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I'm not sure how you could have BPD with no trauma. But maybe....

Why not?

i'm not sure I'd consider any of my life traumatic either but maybe that's just me minimizing it.

[The_little_didgee]

I don't care for the name. After I was misdiagnosed with BPD mental health professionals were not interested in helping me at all. All they did was offer medication to mitigate my autistic traits and tell me that I would never realize my potential. What?????

A different way of thinking: One does not have a "disorder" unless they feel the illness or behaviors are interfering with daily life. e.g. A person with an apparent drinking problem does not think their drinking is impairing their life but a friend or family member says it is. Who is correct?

[IndieVisible]

I'm going to have to start a new thread about borderline because I don't want to hijack any one's thread and I don't want to upset or offend any one. Please watch for it, coming soon!

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I don't care for the name. After I was misdiagnosed with BPD mental health professionals were not interested in helping me at all. All they did was offer medication to mitigate my autistic traits and tell me that I would never realize my potential. What?????

A different way of thinking: One does not have a "disorder" unless they feel the illness or behaviors are interfering with daily life. e.g. A person with an apparent drinking problem does not think their drinking is impairing their life but a friend or family member says they do. Who is correct

Really good points, didgee and by the way, "hi" I like your posts almost every time, you should post here more often

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Really good points, didgee and by the way, "hi" I like your posts almost every time, you should post here more often

Thanks S4. I always read your threads.

I have a lot to say on psychiatry, BPD and autism. I'd post more, but I don't want to upset anyone.

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Thanks S4. I always read your threads.

I have a lot to say on psychiatry, BPD and autism. I'd post more, but I don't want to upset anyone.

you should never be afraid to post. inevitably people will get upset at posts here and there. You should always feel free to post what's on your mind and as long as it's not direct at someone, I don't think you can go wrong.

I want to add to this thread that I have never really questioned whether bpd exists at all or whether the dsm is incorrect or anything. I do feel that the dx of bpd for me does fit in spite of the times when I feel like I'm quite alright and traits are subdued, I'm quickly reminded during crises that it is indeed, still there.

My only point of this thread was about having the dx called a disorder and this is purely opinion. It is not based on reality but my perception and therefore very much biased by my own view which in fact at times varies.

The most ironic thing that I've noticed with myself and many people here that have bpd, it seems that many (maybe all) of us go through periods of questioning whether this dx is real, whether it's valid, whether we're really ok just [fill in your derogatory term here] or not. sometimes for me, its really just plain denial and the desire for this to be all just bullsht and I'm ok.

So please don't take this thread at all as my way of questioning whether I or we are indeed suffering from this disorder ::still cringing at the term:::

[UnderTheRose]

I would say that disorder is what it becomes when that emotional dysregulation starts to interfere with getting through our day to day, or when it starts to harm those around us etc.

I had no real trauma as a young child but found myself in one traumatic situation or another as I entered my teen years.

My psych had said that some people are hypersensitive to their surroundings and what others brush off as simple slights or minor nothings, some people internalize far more deeply and are far more affected and that THAT brings out a more pronounced emotional response. so kind of a 'what came first, the chicken or the egg' were we traumatized at a young age? Or do we perceive trauma more easily (and of course some ARE definitely victims of actual trauma)