With the government shut down looming ahead and it directly affecting my ability to work, it's probably not needed for me to say I'm a bit tense. I know things will work out for me and I'll be fine in the long run but truthfully this is a wrench thrown into my plans I had not anticipated.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Feeling lost and tired. Wish I felt like getting up and doing something, going somewhere, being with someone.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

With the government shut down looming ahead and it directly affecting my ability to work, it's probably not needed for me to say I'm a bit tense. I know things will work out for me and I'll be fine in the long run but truthfully this is a wrench thrown into my plans I had not anticipated.

praying it all works out for you and many others.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

praying it all works out for you and many others.

Thank you so much GGirl

[allme]

Having a very quiet day but all ok.

Umm other than getting sent home in 3.5 hours and not knowing when I'll be allowed back due to the shut down of government and being furloughed? I'm great.

But seriously, it will work out. I'll be fine.

[UnderTheRose]

Not a good day. Feel like i'm drowning. Angry and hopeless. Everything is a struggle.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Anxious and irritable today. So difficult to keep it under control. The least little thing gets under my skin and then I am ready to take somebody out. I hate feeling like this. Right now I just hate everything. I think my meds may need adjusting again. I am so tired of meds working well for only a limited period of time. I have so much to be grateful for. I need to focus on that, but these negative thoughts keep creeping back in.

[BlueInanna]

Me too GG - so irritable!! Also wondered why can't I just be more grateful? It's a lovely day, there are beautiful trees and sky and plants outside, but I'm stuck in negativity.

[technigal]

My husband set me off on a panic attack at 6:30 this morning... that says it all.

Taking my son to the dentist after school for a cleaning/check-up and feeling panicky at the thought.

hopefully going to the hospital soon... any day now.

[HealingNSuffering]

Today was not so bad compared to the rest of this week. I had a therapy session and that helped me feel better, we touched on some MH issues I got going on at the moment.

****....

[allme]

Had a semi rough day yesterday, nearly called my dealer...but I didn't. Thoughts of loved ones dying and ending up alone plagued me a bit yesterday and last night. This morning I am ok I guess...just tired.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by allme

Had a semi rough day yesterday, nearly called my dealer...but I didn't... This morning I am ok I guess...just tired.

That is great that you did not call your dealer, be proud of yourself for that!

I am tired too and gotta go pick up my boy and take him to see the doctor when all I want to do is sleep.

[allme]

Originally Posted by technigal

That is great that you did not call your dealer, be proud of yourself for that!

I am tired too and gotta go pick up my boy and take him to see the doctor when all I want to do is sleep.

Thank you Looking back, I am so glad I didn't give in. It's just so blimming hard when the urge comes on....

Aw it's not good when you have stuff to do and feeling tired Hang in there, you'll get through it and before you know it be back in bed

[technigal]

Originally Posted by allme

Thank you Looking back, I am so glad I didn't give in. It's just so blimming hard when the urge comes on....

Aw it's not good when you have stuff to do and feeling tired Hang in there, you'll get through it and before you know it be back in bed

I know nothing personally of addiction, the one thing I have not had to deal with, but I watched others.

Some days I hate being a mom, then I remember how hard it was to conceive my son and how he was as a tiny preemie (born at 36 weeks)... the doctor's appointment is for me too but I have to get Robbie to leave for that part. Don't really want an 8 year old in the room when talking about my OD.

This really,

Feeling like crying for some reason sick of this now, when do the good times come back??

So not long ago I'd come back from another useless psych appointment feeling incredibly upset and distressed. My mum started taunting me about the appointment, saying there's nothing wrong with me and it's all attention seeking and always has been. It went on so long that I snapped and smashed in her car. She then beat me up and now wants to bring a conviction against me.

I want to die.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Feeling like crying for some reason sick of this now, when do the good times come back??

Then cry. Get the emotions out. When do the good times come back? Well, I wish I had the answer.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by Spockette

She then beat me up and now wants to bring a conviction against me.

I want to die.

I don't really understand. She beat you up (and I am sorry that you have a mom that does not understand) and wants the police to charge you? I am assuming the charges would be about smashing up her car? I would think that she should have assault charges brought against her.

[allme]

Feeling sad today....not crying sad but just general sadness and loneliness. I am trying not to panic that my stability is over and keep telling myself all ppl have their sad days....it doesn't mean I am about to flop...I hope.

[Jishkah]

Right now, I'm feeling pretty numb. Like a blanket is covering my emotions, a barrier... with my mind on one side, and everything else on the other. Like a... I don't know, like a window. I'm looking at the window, looking at the emotions and feelings beyond the glass, and I can see which ones are closest, which ones are the most obnoxious, but it's just out of reach - separated by a glass barrier, unable to fully affect me, even if I want it to. The most obnoxious emotions, at the moment? Hopelessness. Confusion. Uselessness. Worry. Fear. Definitely... definitely fear. Right now, I guess... I'm incapable of feeling, I suppose.

It's hard to explain, and that's the best way that I've put it in a long while. Like a glass barrier is separating me from my mind and my emotions, whether those emotions are good, or bad. It happens every once in a while, and I'm normally not as disconnected from my emotions as I currently am, but it seems to be happening more and more often, and it sucks. It really does.

Also, this is my first "official" post, outside of my Introduction post. I've never been officially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, but a friend very much thinks that I may have it, and all of the signs point to it... so this is my first stop, I suppose, on my quest for self-discovery.

[allme]

Tired, been working hard but ok Hubby given up smokes and was a bit of a twat yesterday and day before but seems to be ok now