[youwillrise]

i am a horrible person and at this point, i dont care as much as i probably should. ive probably been the worst ive been in a long time the past few days.

[snarkydaddy]

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” — Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

turning this quote over and over in my mind. Thinking about shape shifting or identity loss for some. Or being what others want so you will not experiance the emotional state of being abandoned. Ha, the things we do to not feel that way; crazy.

[Mustkeepjob32]

I realize I haven't laughed for weeks and constantly am depressed and anxious.

[leomama]

Dealing with my fear of abandonment

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[Maranara]

My sleep patterns are totally messed up. At least the delusions have been at bay....they are so scary. Been busy with more to do than I have time for. This week will be very decisive when it comes to my business. We'll see how it goes. Sorry for not helping anyone around here lately. Selfish I guess, but I fall in to despair so fast, and I just can't allow it right now. This is my last time to try to shine.

[Verity81]

Going on museum outing with local mental health group today so am looking forward to getting out. On the other hand I am very nervous about meeting with my works occupational health doctor tomorrow. Even though she is very nice and supportive.

Got an appointment with a new pdoc today! I finally decided it was time for a second opinion as I've never fully agreed with this diagnosis. Feeling pretty nervous now!

[youwillrise]

went to sleep super tense last night...woke up in a similar way. took all i had to not throw or otherwise DESTROY something.

[snarkydaddy]

All medicated up. And filled with the joy of living

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[leomama]

Glad I didn't get deregulated this morning!

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[youwillrise]

hahaha. i think ive finally gotten him out of my life for good. just sick of being stupid and wanting/chasing him when all he wants is physical attn. im sure he hates me completely now, but that was my goal. waaaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa.

[technigal]

Feeling frustrated. The house is a mess but I don't have the energy to clean. I did go out to the doctor's today and bought my husband's birthday presents. I think going out has wiped me out. Think it is time for a nap.

[snarkydaddy]

working on staying stable and positive

My birthday ! So my bf took me the zoo! Yay fun times !!!!

[technigal]

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

My birthday ! So my bf took me the zoo! Yay fun times !!!!

Happy Birthday

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by leomama

Glad I didn't get deregulated this morning!

that goes for me too!!

[Verity81]

Scared and depressed this morning then angry in afternoon and now I'm calmer..... Cor dear it's exhausting having BPD!

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[BPD Ghost]

I'm trying to brainstorm the positives of BPD and the title, "emphane".

anxious x really anxious

[Verity81]

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

anxious x really anxious

Anxiety really sucks doesn't it! Have you anything you can do today to help relax you?

[mommymushbrain]

It's mid-term week for college and I haven't started a darn thing yet... and everything is due Thursday/Friday. Do I like the pressure? Maybe.

I had someone calm me on Skype ... Thanks verity!!! Hope ur ok x

[snarkydaddy]

I feel a strange longing which I can not identify where that is coming from....oh boy

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I am on way to work. The joys of late shift x( !! But am off then til weds... Woo xxx

Feeling great, happy and like there is hope after all for me. Which is partially why I don't post here often. I know everyone gets tired of my positivity and happy posts