The BPD Daily Check in Thread #3

kala83 · Jan 21, 2014, 02:22 AM

I swear my BPD makes me paranoid about any and every little thing in my life.

Bubbles&Buttercup · Jan 21, 2014, 04:21 AM

Crying a lot but that's probably to do with coming off the anti depressants. Appointment with the pdoc tomorrow, I feel like I'm looking forward to it but I'm sure I'll be dreading it by morning.

Jan 21, 2014, 05:04 AM

I'm so tired

Hardly any sleep the last few nights. Why is it I'm tired during the day but the minute I get into bed I'm wide awake again?!

youwillrise · Jan 21, 2014, 06:42 AM

have to be to work in less than an hour. my body and mind are not ready for this day. wanna go back to sleep.

beloiseau · Jan 21, 2014, 10:54 AM

Skipped a shadowing experience for a job interview I had...just woke up and didn't want to go at all. Don't really want the job either, but I don't really have a choice right now, I need a job terribly.

Don't really know what I'm feeling today.

Bubbles&Buttercup · Jan 21, 2014, 11:43 AM

Appointment with the pdoc in 8 hours. I should probably go to sleep, I don't even feel like going. I've waited so long and I really have to go, but I just can't be bothered. I wish I could ignore it and sleep in.

Maranara · Jan 21, 2014, 12:13 PM

Day 11. In survival mode just trying to keep the thinking and such under control. It's becoming almost impossible.

Jan 21, 2014, 12:29 PM

Feeling like **** now. I have had enough of today

beloiseau · Jan 21, 2014, 04:56 PM

Still in a weird mood.... I was almost too calm earlier, had a mini panic attack, got really dysregulated, and now I'm like calm again. But, sad. Not motivated to do anything at all.

Maranara · Jan 21, 2014, 05:15 PM

I guess it's time to crash and burn just a little...oh well, I did my best.

technigal · Jan 21, 2014, 05:17 PM

Crap! The boy's group therapy has been cancelled as he was the only kid available. Really anxious as I have been waiting all day for a call back to see if we can get him into another program. I want to call and leave another message. I need my kid to get the help he needs. I don't think I can fully help myself while I am worried about my kid and his mental health.

Bubbles&Buttercup · Jan 21, 2014, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maranara

I guess it's time to crash and burn just a little...oh well, I did my best.

No! Pull it together. You can get through another 2 days! You've done 10 already! That's f**king incredible. Don't listen to the bad **** in your head, focus on how strong you are to have made it through so many days in a row already and remember you have the strength to keep going!
You can absolutely do this! I don't know you at all, but I can tell you're tough.

Jan 22, 2014, 01:56 AM

5 days now. I miss him. Well the nice him.
I want to be loved. Cared about and at times taken care of.
So need it right now more than ever.

sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't. (but mostly I Do)

Maranara · Jan 22, 2014, 09:29 AM

Here....kinda, sorta. Not worth anything today other than to wallow in my own self-pity. I will be okay in the end but the next few days will be very hard. Day 12

hawaii04 · Jan 22, 2014, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maranara

Here....kinda, sorta. Not worth anything today other than to wallow in my own self-pity. I will be okay in the end but the next few days will be very hard. Day 12

YES!!!! It will be okay in the end . . . keep embracing that thought.

beloiseau · Jan 22, 2014, 01:42 PM

All over the ****ing place again. I just don't know what I need or want anymore, except for this to stop.

technigal · Jan 22, 2014, 03:18 PM

My last therapy appointment was today

I will start with a new psychologist sometime in the future but since I am taking DBT through the hospital I have to have a therapist from there - two different programs funded differently. I will miss my therapist but she did tell me how I can get back into the program in the future if I need it.

Espresso · Jan 22, 2014, 07:19 PM

It has taken so much effort to control my anger today. But the day is almost done, and tomorrow is a fresh start.

Bubbles&Buttercup · Jan 23, 2014, 10:29 AM

Really excited about tomorrow and the next couple days. Mates bands coming to town to play a couple gigs, lots of drinking with friends and catching up for Australia Day. Haha. Hopefully it is as fun as I'm expecting!
Finding the one upcoming positive thing, regardless of how small is really getting me through lately, I hope you're all trying to look forward to something in the future too!

Jan 23, 2014, 10:54 AM

When you find the right one. Everything falls into place and so many fears, worries and doubts fall away...

Yeah so it's good.

Unrigged64072835 · Jan 23, 2014, 12:40 PM

Kid out of school for third day because of cold weather. Third day of not smoking. First day of spouse not smoking. I'm hiding!

beloiseau · Jan 23, 2014, 01:03 PM

Feeling pretty neutral, which leads to me being scared and anxious because i don't know how to feel neutral.

Maranara · Jan 23, 2014, 01:07 PM

First day off in 12. Trying to spend the day resting and mindful. I'm very prone to emotional breakdowns after working so many days. We'll see how it goes.