![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#451
|
||||
|
||||
So exhausted. Had a 3 hour nap today which helps but still so tired. I see my T tomorrow, need to talk about the phobia that is taking control of my life.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() hawaii04, lynn808
|
#452
|
|||
|
|||
Cried and cried for hours this evening. He makes me feel like everything is my fault. The screaming the name calling the phone calls. I'm just crumbling. Someway somehow its always my fault I'm always to blame.
Cracking I'm crumbling where to go what to do every turn I take there's more conflict more problems more yelling. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk |
![]() bataviabard, beloiseau, hawaii04, lynn808, ready2makenice, River11, Truth in Ruin, UnderTheRose
|
#453
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk
__________________
Darkness may endure for a night, but Joy IS coming in the morning. -j. osteen |
![]() beloiseau, lynn808
|
#454
|
|||
|
|||
Was doing so well,now feeling so low and down with my ED lingering. Don't want to see my T or anyone this week,just want to cry my eyes out but I can't because I think I'll just go into rage and SH
![]() |
![]() hawaii04, lynn808, River11, Truth in Ruin, UnderTheRose
|
#455
|
||||
|
||||
Only stayed in the hospital for one night, it was horrible and they took my phone and I wasn't allowed a laptop and it just made me feel worse. The pdoc I saw today was a douche.
Home tonight and off to see some community mental health team who wouldn't help me months ago but now that I was in hospital apparently they are willing. Not feeling very hopeful about tomorrow but I'm feeling a bit better in general tonight.
__________________
"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
![]() beloiseau, hawaii04, lynn808, technigal, Truth in Ruin
|
#456
|
||||
|
||||
Dbt group this morning... I have a list to discuss with the therapist... Oi
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
![]() technigal
|
![]() Truth in Ruin
|
#457
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]()
__________________
Kathy |
#458
|
||||
|
||||
Got to see my pdoc and my meds were upped. 1200 of neurotin, and now on paxil (20 mg), on top of 25mg trazadone, 200 lamictal and 50 mg hydroxizine. The meds really help, but being on so many sometimes makes me feel like a looney.
Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
__________________
![]() Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
![]() bataviabard, beloiseau, Truth in Ruin
|
#459
|
||||
|
||||
Saw my T today, still waiting to find out when DBT starts and when I get my new T. I hate having to switch T but they are different programs and I can't be in two programs at once.
I did download some guided relaxation and soothing music finally. Hope it helps with calming me down when I am in a panic attack. My T also suggested I try music when I wake up in the middle of the night. Willing to try almost anything at this point.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() beloiseau, Bill3, hawaii04, Truth in Ruin
|
#460
|
||||
|
||||
Job interview this afternoon...not as anxious as I feel I should be, which is making me nervous. Getting caught up in the emotional myth I should be super anxious about this.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
![]() technigal
|
#461
|
||||
|
||||
Absolute best of luck. Not being anxious is a good thing, don't feel guilty about not feeling anxious...go with it!
__________________
Maranara |
![]() beloiseau, Truth in Ruin
|
#462
|
|||
|
|||
Really bad few days. I had to move back with my mum (also happens to be in different country) before christmas. Really difficult to stay positive, got no friends here, no job (im looking), 30 and still single. Im keeping active and trying to be outside as much as I can but some days (like today) are tougher than others. Plus I dont really get on with my mum (doesnt know about my bpd).
Im sure tomorrow will be a good day, I hope anyway! Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2 |
![]() hawaii04, technigal
|
#463
|
||||
|
||||
so effing annoyed.
I very rarely have the rage and anger that is associated with BPD, but when i do, omgggggggggggggggggggg, i'm so effing pissed right now. fml!!! so i've been working on Project B for two days at work, and my boss comes up and asks me to send him all the stuff from Project A. I tell him, "i stopped doing project A because you told me Project B was urgent, needed ASAP, and took major priority over Project A" he says "oh yeah, i forgot, well you don't have to worry Project B, we don't need it. Give me what you have done on Project A" Oh my effing gosh!!! i just wasted 2 days of my time pulling reports and doing scrupulous research and now "oh yeah, we don't need that" oh my effing gossssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So livid! trying to let it go, but soooooooooo irkedddddddddddddddd ![]()
__________________
Darkness may endure for a night, but Joy IS coming in the morning. -j. osteen |
![]() hawaii04, shezbut, technigal
|
#464
|
||||
|
||||
Today is a little better. I printed out copies of flyers, brochures and business cards that I created and I'm going to go out a bit. I need to conquer my fear and well as have a good, healthy dose of patience. Things may not turn around overnight, but I have to believe they will....
__________________
Maranara |
![]() beloiseau, hawaii04, shezbut
|
#465
|
||||
|
||||
Crash. Hard. I don't care. I want to just let things slip away. Its funny because I don't think that anyone here would even notice if I stopped posting. Whatever though. I'm just done.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() Anonymous200125, beloiseau, hawaii04, shezbut
|
#466
|
|||
|
|||
I just noticed. Have you looked into some of the resources I sent you?
__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder |
![]() Britneigh, shezbut
|
#467
|
||||
|
||||
I think I've felt like 500 emotions today, and I'm exhausted. Job interview went well, but now I am even questioning the field at all. If you aren't what you do, what are you? Stuck in the dissociative, dysregulated, existential place I know so well.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
![]() Anonymous200125
|
#468
|
||||
|
||||
Just woke up, I've already yelled at my mum on the phone and started bawling. Now I just feel nervous and indecisive about everything and like I'm going to vomit. I wanna go back to sleep.
__________________
"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" |
![]() Anonymous200125, hawaii04
|
#469
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]() ![]()
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() Anonymous200125, shezbut
|
#470
|
|||
|
|||
I see the pdoc today and I'm pretty nervous. I've had bad experiences with her in the past but I have to remind myself that last time wasn't so bad. I'm also unsure if she will actually put me on more meds or not....risk of OD...
![]() |
![]() hawaii04
|
#471
|
||||
|
||||
I'm on a reaalllly fast see-saw right now. Excited and stooped. About as fast as I typed this. Up and down in that fast, on and on it goes!
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
![]() Aphrodites_Muse, Britneigh
|
![]() Aphrodites_Muse, Bill3, hawaii04
|
#472
|
||||
|
||||
Pdoc day and T day in group.... I just want to cry but I can't.
__________________
I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.
Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury. |
![]() bataviabard, Bill3, hawaii04
|
#473
|
||||
|
||||
That can be very very hard, but I definitely get it. Hang on for the ride; it won't last forever, though I know it seems like it's going to.
__________________
Maranara |
![]() shezbut
|
![]() shezbut
|
#474
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]()
__________________
Kathy |
![]() shezbut
|
#475
|
||||
|
||||
Emotionally confused. Mostly feeling well. Battling paranoia. Can't get anything done because I want to do everything.
__________________
"Yes yes y’all and it never stops I don’t trust the government, I don’t trust no cops We dip and we dive and we socialize We struggle and we strive just to stay alive." ~Everlast~ |
Closed Thread |
|