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  #501  
Old Jan 13, 2014, 09:17 PM
youwillrise youwillrise is offline
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today was the first day with the kids back at work and it was the best day in 2.5 weeks. they make me so happy...even when they drive me nuts
Thanks for this!
hawaii04, technigal

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  #502  
Old Jan 13, 2014, 10:46 PM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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I am working 12 days straight. I know this isn't good for me, at all, but I have a long 13 day hiatus coming up at the end of the month and feel as though I don't have a choice. I work from home doing a completely monotonous, mind numbing job that gives me way too much time to think and slowly drives me paranoid and delusional the longer I work. I'm rightfully scared but I don't feel as though I have a choice. I hope you guys will help support me when I start my delusional rants and start feeling trapped. It's very, very scary.
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  #503  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 02:03 PM
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Bubbles&Buttercup Bubbles&Buttercup is offline
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It's 6am and I'm still laying in bed trying to sleep. Can't decide if I want to admit defeat and put the tv on, or continue attempting to fall asleep! Birds are getting noisy and it's getting hot again. I'm not ready for today yet.
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I'm going off the rails on a crazy train"
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  #504  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 02:14 PM
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Imhotep Imhotep is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
I am working 12 days straight. I know this isn't good for me, at all, but I have a long 13 day hiatus coming up at the end of the month and feel as though I don't have a choice. I work from home doing a completely monotonous, mind numbing job that gives me way too much time to think and slowly drives me paranoid and delusional the longer I work. I'm rightfully scared but I don't feel as though I have a choice. I hope you guys will help support me when I start my delusional rants and start feeling trapped. It's very, very scary.
Hi Maranara,

I am not really one to support but please hang in there. Many people like myself depend on you. When I have too much time on my own I do stupid things, get angry, and let those bad voices in my head. Squeeze them out with distractions.

Imhotep
Thanks for this!
lynn808
  #505  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 02:55 PM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imhotep View Post
Hi Maranara,

I am not really one to support but please hang in there. Many people like myself depend on you. When I have too much time on my own I do stupid things, get angry, and let those bad voices in my head. Squeeze them out with distractions.

Imhotep
There's nothing I can do to distract at work that doesn't draw my attention away from my job. My biggest problem is I start feeling trapped and it becomes a very dangerous feeling. If it persists too long I feel I'm willing to do anything to escape it.

I do thank you for your kind words...I do take my own advice as much as I can, I'm not one to say and not do, but I know I'm in for a hard week or two.
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  #506  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 03:48 PM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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I'm starting to feel guilty for things I have no reason to. I have to learn to talk....
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  #507  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 04:51 PM
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beloiseau beloiseau is offline
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Dealing with some serious anxiety today...just have to make it through the next few days.
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Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg

depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury.


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  #508  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 05:55 PM
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hawaii04 hawaii04 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
I am working 12 days straight. I know this isn't good for me, at all, but I have a long 13 day hiatus coming up at the end of the month and feel as though I don't have a choice. I work from home doing a completely monotonous, mind numbing job that gives me way too much time to think and slowly drives me paranoid and delusional the longer I work. I'm rightfully scared but I don't feel as though I have a choice. I hope you guys will help support me when I start my delusional rants and start feeling trapped. It's very, very scary.
If a HUG is supportive enough and that is all that I have to share with you at the time, myself being in quicksand, you can count me in. You have your hands full, no doubt a very scary position and as you say, rightfully so ... but you can do it.
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  #509  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 10:52 PM
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technigal technigal is offline
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Had a good appointment with my TMJ specialist today, don't have to go back for another 9 months. Figured out that my son's group and his pdoc appointment are on the same day. At least they aren't at the same time. It will mean that he is taking the entire day off of school.
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Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013
Thanks for this!
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  #510  
Old Jan 14, 2014, 11:51 PM
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Bubbles&Buttercup Bubbles&Buttercup is offline
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Spoke to work and it seems that if I'm not back at work within three weeks I'll be fired...
So I guess I just wait for it to happen, because I'm certainly not going to be able to go back any time soon. I don't know how I'm going to afford to live.
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"Mental wounds still screaming, Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train"
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  #511  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 09:32 AM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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I can't stop crying....
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  #512  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 10:11 AM
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Angel of Bedlam Angel of Bedlam is offline
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Enraged.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
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Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?


Diagnosed:
BPD

PTSD
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  #513  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 10:53 AM
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allme allme is offline
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Feeling good! Going to see doc on Friday for some nicotine patches....after 16 years or so, I think it's time I gave up!
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The BPD Daily Check in Thread #3
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  #514  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 11:38 AM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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Feeling better for the moment...hope it lasts a while.
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  #515  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 12:00 PM
Anonymous200125
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Keep getting anxious for no apparent reason. Getting a bit annoying really...
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  #516  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 12:45 PM
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technigal technigal is offline
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Called the hospital to find out when my DBT starts, had to leave voice mail
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Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013
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  #517  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 01:08 PM
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Britneigh Britneigh is offline
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Still feeling cruddy but I'm up and doing things. I am mustering the energy up to go ride a few horses.
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Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire
Don't let your mindset become what controls you
Speak right now and make the choice to grow
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  #518  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 04:10 PM
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beloiseau beloiseau is offline
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Had the first job interview of the week...went well, they said they'd call me to schedule a second one. We'll see if that happens . I have two tomorrow, so I'm just trying to make it through today without getting too anxious. I feel like I'm on the edge of either staying totally calm or flipping out.
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I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.

Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg

depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury.


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  #519  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 04:57 PM
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technigal technigal is offline
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GRRR.... they lost my referral to DBT so now I have to wait until May!!! So angry right now.
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Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013
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  #520  
Old Jan 15, 2014, 05:25 PM
Anonymous200125
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GRRR.... they lost my referral to DBT so now I have to wait until May!!! So angry right now.
I'm so sorry, that really sucks!
  #521  
Old Jan 16, 2014, 01:00 AM
youwillrise youwillrise is offline
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i need some major me work. i dont know what it's going to take. i think it's going to take more than one thing...and a whole lot of time.
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  #522  
Old Jan 16, 2014, 12:17 PM
Anonymous12111009
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Doing well. things are progressing fine for me and I'm pretty happy.
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  #523  
Old Jan 16, 2014, 04:36 PM
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Maranara Maranara is offline
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I'm tired but I'm doing okay. Found myself slipping a few times but was able to get it under control before it got bad...that's a good thing. Day 6 of 12...half way through!
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  #524  
Old Jan 16, 2014, 06:45 PM
youwillrise youwillrise is offline
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contacted someone to hopefully get into therapy again. ive been in twice before...maybe 3rd time will be the charm? i just need to be honest and not leave things out out of fear. i get so nervous talking about stuff. i did decide to go with someone who could prescribe meds if they would be a good supplement to therapy for me. im not a big fan of meds and i try to avoid them as much as possible, but things get so intense for me that many times other things dont help. we'll see what happens. havent made any official appts yet, just contacted them to share main concerns as well as asking some general info.

i told my friends that they probably wouldnt hear from me for a while since i decided to take a social media break for a bit...trying to lessen stimulation and triggers.
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  #525  
Old Jan 16, 2014, 08:33 PM
Espresso Espresso is offline
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Today wasn't great. I feel like a bad parent. I thought I was doing everything that needed to be done for the baby, but apparently she needs more. This just makes me hate myself more.
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