[allme]

I have just finished with a major argument with my hubby and he has left me. The fight was screaming mental and got physical...I hit him so he hit me back and then we got into a struggle. Some really horrible things were said and now I want to hurt myself so bad. He said he would hate me forever after everything I put him through. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel in crisis. I really want to swallow all my tablets and I am crying so hard and really trying not to do this but I don't know if I can stop myself. Please talk to me.

I am so so sorry. Can you call someone? Please hold on. You need to call someone

When you say he left you, do you mean actually left you as in end of marriage or just left the house to cool of or something?

Please fight the urges, I know you can do it, you're a strong girly

[growlycat]

Please go to the ER!! Worried about you!

[Samanthagreene]

Please don't hurt yourself.

[allme]

I am in the UK and our a&e are useless...there is nothing they can do, I just need drugs. I hate my husband right now, how could he leave me in this condition, he knows how I get. I hate him so much right now wish I'd never met him, I am better off completely alone in some hole with a life time supply of drugs. That's all I want. He is just like all everyone else at the end of the day and like everyone else, he hates me. Well he can't hate me as much as I hate myself. I despise myself.

[tashy85]

Hi I'm from the UK is there a friend or your mum can you talk to her good luck

[allme]

Thanks I will be ok..I have called my brother and he is coming over.

I am sorry.

[tashy85]

That's good then glad your ok

I'm glad you called your brother please try and stear clear of the drugs, you've been doing so well

[HealingNSuffering]

allme Sorry to hear you are going through all of this right now. My heart bleeds for you, I feel your pain. Perhaps letting yourself feel free to cry is not such a bad idea right now. Its not good to hold in your grief, its completely acceptable to cry in this circumstances. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself, I am somewhat relieved to see you say you'll be okay. I hope your brother understands how hard of a time this is for you right now. You need all the support you can get. It seems like maybe things built up to get to this point, where it went beyond screaming and turned physical. I hope you can see that this is not the end of the world, every ending is a new beginning. Who knows maybe something good will come out of this incident? You never know if you give up, keep your head up.

[HD7970GHZ]

Utilize your supports! Hold on to the fact that others in your life love you! Remind yourself, that when things get heated and fights ensue - everything that is said and done - is without restraint and will be regrettable (For both yourself and your husband)!

It's painful. Very painful. But it's tolerable if you try.

Try not to think in black and white. Despite what your husband may have said or done - allow time to take an effect. In a few days or a week you could both end up making amends. Perhaps it will take longer. But you can at least recognize that something was not working in the relationship and it clearly needed to be addressed. Although it wasn't addressed in the most proper fashion - it was still addressed. .

Take care of you.

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

[allme]

Thanks for your messages

My brother came round for a bit didn't stay long cause my hubby came back and it was all a bit awkward. As soon as my brother left I went into full blown rage...I behaved like a wild animal screaming and shouting. I exhausted myself to the point of collapsing on the floor I then told him to just get out...so he did.

Thanks again everyone

Originally Posted by allme

Thanks for your messages

My brother came round for a bit didn't stay long cause my hubby came back and it was all a bit awkward. As soon as my brother left I went into full blown rage...I behaved like a wild animal screaming and shouting. I exhausted myself to the point of collapsing on the floor I then told him to just get out...so he did.

Thanks again everyone

How are you doing now allme?

[allme]

I am ok thank you -it's the drugs I took earlier that's making me feel ok
though. I am curled up on the sofa with my 2 puppies watching the show 'True Blood'. Going to bed shortly as I have work early tomorrow. Took off early today because of what happened with husband. Not been good the last few days which is when I am thankful I work from home. Thanks for the hug

Hope you are doing ok

[MoxieDoxie]

What drugs? Are you also an addict?

[allme]

Yes I'm an addict. Was clean for 2 months before tonight. I know 2 months aint that long but it felt it.

[allme]

Thanks for putting up with me yesterday. I am feeling a lot calmer today Last night was a blip and gave in to it (drugs) but today is a new day which I have under control so far. Supposed to be going to a neighbours birthday party...which I really don't want to go to. They would of heard me and hubby arguing yesterday and I am just going to feel awkward. I managed to acquire a beta blocker so will take that before we go.

Thanks again