anyone else feel this too....? I prefer staying at home and ordering whatever I need "online" just to avoid being out in the public..i have borderline personality disorder which was diagnosed about a month ago..but I don't have the reckless issues associated with the illness..like driving crazy or having sex with everyone..in fact I prefer staying at home alone away from people..being married is such a 'chore for me"..i feel forced to cook and clean for everyone and I have been married for 2 years now..i suppose the 'easy way out' would be to just leave but that is what I am used to doing..when things get hard I always like to go in the other direction..

Hi, I don't have sex with anyone or nor do I reckless drive and I am pretty sure others don't either, I do tend to be very impulsive in other ways though like spending money online, I act out and get angry and take it out on myself, I really don't like other peoples company at all and yet I don't like the loneliness.

My ex once said to me 'I don't need you or anyone else' but she did and she does. She has BPD and although she hates people and the world she needs to live with this guy she lives with and he needs her too. They both have a toxic relationship and really it is not healthy but they are both scared to leave the other.

[IndieVisible]

At one time I was diagnosed with BPD but recently a doc said he doubts it but definitely see's NPD. I still think I have some BPD traits tho. I definitely drive crazy totally in to road rage big time. I have to speed, I can't go slow. But I'm not a sex fiend or any thing like that. I don't self harm, nor am I clingy or needy. But enough about me, I dislike people too! It's not a social phobia or anxiety tho I do have GAD, but not SAD, people just bore me. Yet I realize I need them. I'm great at manipulating them and when I fail I become very vengeful. I do have rage. People no matter how good they are, bring the worse out of me, even the one's that are are so sweet you get a tooth ache. I'm trying to deal with it for my family's sake. My wife puts up with me for some reason.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

At one time I was diagnosed with BPD but recently a doc said he doubts it but definitely see's NPD. I still think I have some BPD traits tho. I definitely drive crazy totally in to road rage big time. I have to speed, I can't go slow. But I'm not a sex fiend or any thing like that. I don't self harm, nor am I clingy or needy. But enough about me, I dislike people too! It's not a social phobia or anxiety tho I do have GAD, but not SAD, people just bore me. Yet I realize I need them. I'm great at manipulating them and when I fail I become very vengeful. I do have rage. People no matter how good they are, bring the worse out of me, even the one's that are are so sweet you get a tooth ache. I'm trying to deal with it for my family's sake. My wife puts up with me for some reason.

intriguing

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by sick of it all

intriguing

That's a ridiculous smilie, why not just say what you mean.

I did...I find you intriguing

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by sick of it all

I did...I find you intriguing

I guess I just don't get that smiley.

Sorry not trying to leave you confused

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by sick of it all

Sorry not trying to leave you confused

No worries, it's usually me in most cases any way.

[coleychi]

YES! I HATE going out for anything although I will go out (alone) to pick up take-out. But I order as much as I can online and leave my room/dorm as little as possible. But like you, I also know I need people in my life. Do you know why you don't like people? For me, socializing is just burdensome. I have a little (or a lot, depending on who you ask) social anxiety so I'm always trying to think of the right things to say. Going out to brunch with friends is a chore and I feel like I need to "rest" before and after so a simple 1-2 hour brunch because a whole half-day ordeal for me. Lately, I've been making an effort to socialize with the tiny network I have because I know that I need people in my life and it's good for me, but I can relate to feeling like it's a chore.

I have traits of BPD-- not the full blown illness, which sounds like I may be similar to you in that way? Have you communicated any of this to your partner? I'm actually the opposite in that sense-- I prefer to have one person, like a boyfriend, who I get super clingy with and spend all my time with. Of course, half the relationship is screaming and fighting and unhealthy turmoil but I like the security (not sure if that's the right word) of having someone to count on. But I haven't been in a relationship for like 2-3 years.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

No worries, it's usually me in most cases any way.

Cool..cool...

[thepoetishere]

I don't go out either except when I have to. In my case I don't like most people and don't feel I need them, not even my brothers. Not sure if this is "normal." I can't drive cuz I can't walk. But when I did drive I drove wrecklessly. Once I got on meds my impulsiveness thankfully declined, because I wasn't being safe in the other area you mentioned. bpd seems like a confusing disorder to have-at least to me. Everything is a chore to me. Laundry, cooking, trying to clean...even showering. But then my body doesn't cooperate with me anyway, as well as my mind. Frustrating. So, I can understand what you're saying, def.

[technigal]

I worked customer service type jobs and I have to say that people now make me crazy. I can't stand how some people treat others.

I get overwhelmed by large amounts of people. Since my family is large that could create a problem but I live so far away that I don't see them very often.

I don't like going out, especially large crowds of people bother me. Not fun at all. When I had my son I used to have to force myself to leave the house as the more I am in the house the more my postpartum depression got.

Originally Posted by coleychi

YES! I HATE going out for anything although I will go out (alone) to pick up take-out. But I order as much as I can online and leave my room/dorm as little as possible. But like you, I also know I need people in my life. Do you know why you don't like people? For me, socializing is just burdensome. I have a little (or a lot, depending on who you ask) social anxiety so I'm always trying to think of the right things to say. Going out to brunch with friends is a chore and I feel like I need to "rest" before and after so a simple 1-2 hour brunch because a whole half-day ordeal for me. Lately, I've been making an effort to socialize with the tiny network I have because I know that I need people in my life and it's good for me, but I can relate to feeling like it's a chore.

I have traits of BPD-- not the full blown illness, which sounds like I may be similar to you in that way? Have you communicated any of this to your partner? I'm actually the opposite in that sense-- I prefer to have one person, like a boyfriend, who I get super clingy with and spend all my time with. Of course, half the relationship is screaming and fighting and unhealthy turmoil but I like the security (not sure if that's the right word) of having someone to count on. But I haven't been in a relationship for like 2-3 years.

people simply annoy me..i have to always watch what I say and how I present myself because people always 'read me" and I hate it..

Originally Posted by technigal

I worked customer service type jobs and I have to say that people now make me crazy. I can't stand how some people treat others.

I get overwhelmed by large amounts of people. Since my family is large that could create a problem but I live so far away that I don't see them very often.

I don't like going out, especially large crowds of people bother me. Not fun at all. When I had my son I used to have to force myself to leave the house as the more I am in the house the more my postpartum depression got.

exactly I can totally relate

Originally Posted by thepoetishere

I don't go out either except when I have to. In my case I don't like most people and don't feel I need them, not even my brothers. Not sure if this is "normal." I can't drive cuz I can't walk. But when I did drive I drove wrecklessly. Once I got on meds my impulsiveness thankfully declined, because I wasn't being safe in the other area you mentioned. bpd seems like a confusing disorder to have-at least to me. Everything is a chore to me. Laundry, cooking, trying to clean...even showering. But then my body doesn't cooperate with me anyway, as well as my mind. Frustrating. So, I can understand what you're saying, def.

being a wife and mom is a "chore" for me too

Originally Posted by Liverbird

Hi, I don't have sex with anyone or nor do I reckless drive and I am pretty sure others don't either, I do tend to be very impulsive in other ways though like spending money online, I act out and get angry and take it out on myself, I really don't like other peoples company at all and yet I don't like the loneliness.

I need solitude so much like I need air to breathe..

[coleychi]

Originally Posted by sick of it all

people simply annoy me..i have to always watch what I say and how I present myself because people always 'read me" and I hate it..

Yup. I'm constantly making myself anxious about how other people are perceiving me. Such a huge problem in my life. Causes so much unnecessary anxiety and subsequent depression. I'm working really hard to change my thinking patterns though

I know you're married (and your mother-in-law is living with you too, right?) Is there any way you can carve out some time for yourself? Even if you just have to get out of the house and be alone in public... like sitting at a coffee shop or going to get your nails done... doing something where you'll feel less under a microscope, so to speak.

Originally Posted by DylanP

My ex once said to me 'I don't need you or anyone else' but she did and she does. She has BPD and although she hates people and the world she needs to live with this guy she lives with and he needs her too. They both have a toxic relationship and really it is not healthy but they are both scared to leave the other.

in my case my husband is the codependent one.."not me"..i am totally good with living alone

Originally Posted by coleychi

Yup. I'm constantly making myself anxious about how other people are perceiving me. Such a huge problem in my life. Causes so much unnecessary anxiety and subsequent depression. I'm working really hard to change my thinking patterns though

I know you're married (and your mother-in-law is living with you too, right?) Is there any way you can carve out some time for yourself? Even if you just have to get out of the house and be alone in public... like sitting at a coffee shop or going to get your nails done... doing something where you'll feel less under a microscope, so to speak.

actually I think she should be the one to go out..not me..the way I see it "she is the intruder in my marriage' I should be able to enjoy my home without her being here..but for the record I don't like people much anyways

[technigal]

Originally Posted by sick of it all

being a wife and mom is a "chore" for me too

yup! I love my son and husband but there are times when I wish they would just go away.

Originally Posted by technigal

yup! I love my son and husband but there are times when I wish they would just go away.

yes yes yes

[allme]

I don't like ppl much either, actually I can find them quite disgusting...and yes I am a person too and yeah I find myself pretty much disgusting too. Although I prefer not to be around ppl, I don't want to be lonely or feel unloved or not cared about. It's all so very conflicting.

[poptart316]

I don't like people either but I do like going out to places and being around people. I "want" to like people and I "want" to interact with them but social anxiety prevents me from doing that. I'm highly suspicious of almost everyone, I get nervous, I'm often times very confused as to what the appropriate social cues are and never know what to say and am afraid I'll be rejected or ridiculed if I do say something.