[GeorgiaGirl413]

I've been putting this off for too long now. ***** footing around in T with garbage that really doesn't mean anything. Got get back down in the cellar and start cleaning this crap out again before it just all overtakes me. The trouble is I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. I have issues that need to be dealt with first and I just don't know if I can tell my current T. I am so afraid that I will hurt her feelings. I know that I should not be concerned about how she feels, therapy is for me, not her. But I can't help it. I just have to figure a way around it. 48 hours now til my next session. Maybe I can write it. I'm not sure.

[Maranara]

Writing is a good idea, but don't be surprised if she makes you read it. I understand that you're concerned about hurting feelings, but from my limited experience, most good therapists will be more happy that you're being honest now than that you weren't in the past. It's a "breakthrough" in a sense and she will now be able to work with you in a way that might make a difference. Good luck with it.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I've been putting this off for too long now. ***** footing around in T with garbage that really doesn't mean anything. Got get back down in the cellar and start cleaning this crap out again before it just all overtakes me. The trouble is I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. I have issues that need to be dealt with first and I just don't know if I can tell my current T. I am so afraid that I will hurt her feelings. I know that I should not be concerned about how she feels, therapy is for me, not her. But I can't help it. I just have to figure a way around it. 48 hours now til my next session. Maybe I can write it. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure exactly what you're **fotting footing around about. or the specific issue but it will always feel like you dont' have the energy to deal with the difficult things in life, ya know? We're always stronger than we think and it's just the level of motivation and comitment you need to push hard enough to get past that fear.

Thing is, look at it this way. That which is causing you strife and stress over is probably a huge source of energy drain anyway and NOT dealing with it is just going to drain you further as time goes on so, it's kind of like do you expend what little energy you feel you have now in order to get to a point where you're more free and growing or let it sap your battery completely first and wind up worse off than you are?

Just some thoughts, hope it helps
~S4

[BlueInanna]

Maybe It would be a "breakthrough". And brave of you to feel ready to go there. I don't know what the details are or what would hurt T's feelings. But maybe T has been taking it slow for you to set the pace? I'm wondering because I've had T's take it too fast & I'm running out the door. So I figure a good one would want you to be ready to share & start processing things at your own rate.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I just have major transference issues with a previous T that I can't seem to get over. I talked with my this T about it some, but I came to it late in treatment and she retired before we really put it to rest. Now, I would really like to process it with my current T, but I fear she will feel that I think she is "2nd best" and that's really not the case at all. I just feel like everything else that we are doing is for naught until we deal with what I feel is an "elephant in the room". I suspect that she does have an idea about this, as she has my records from previous T and told me that she had read the entire chart. And you're right, blue. I suspect she is letting me take the lead. I just gotta suck it up and deal with it. Believe what I know is true, not the lies my disease tells me.

[hawaii04]

Try to remember that every T will have some similarities of course due to their profession, but they are also going to be different from one another. And spending so much time concerned is serves no positive purpose. Take the plunge, get that load off your mind . . . . and for that at least you will likely be very glad you did!

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by hawaii04

Try to remember that every T will have some similarities of course due to their profession, but they are also going to be different from one another. And spending so much time concerned is serves no positive purpose. Take the plunge, get that load off your mind . . . . and for that at least you will likely be very glad you did!

Gonna do so at my session tomorrow at 1PM. I have written it down so that I can read it (at least I hope that I will be able to read it). I don't think that I can do it otherwise. Might even have to sit where I can't see her face to face while I do, but I'll get it out there. I have to. Thanks for the support you all. It is so wonderful to have folks here who understand. I just wish we could all get together and give each other one great big hug

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I've been putting this off for too long now. ***** footing around in T with garbage that really doesn't mean anything. Got get back down in the cellar and start cleaning this crap out again before it just all overtakes me. The trouble is I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. I have issues that need to be dealt with first and I just don't know if I can tell my current T. I am so afraid that I will hurt her feelings. I know that I should not be concerned about how she feels, therapy is for me, not her. But I can't help it. I just have to figure a way around it. 48 hours now til my next session. Maybe I can write it. I'm not sure.

Is there someone else you feel comfortable telling your issues to?

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

Is there someone else you feel comfortable telling your issues to?

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

Other than telling you all here, not really. I'm pretty sure most of my real world friends would just think I was bonkers. But I am going to bring it up today. T minus 4 hours and 49 minutes!!! I have it planned. Written out so I can read it if need be. Just gotta get it said and out in the open, then I can deal with it. Praying I don't chicken out. I'm already starting to think of reasons why maybe it's really not important after all, but I know that is just avoiding the issue. I didn't sleep much at all last night and vomited 3 times. Hope my stomach and my nerves can take this.

[Maranara]

Just do the best that you can...that's all you can do. If nothing else works, hand her your planned writing you intend to read on the way out the door and mention that you'd would like to talk about it next week... Not ideal, but better than chickening out completely.