[Wingnut13]

First I want to say hi to everyone here,HI. I started seeing a therapist a month ago and she has diagnosed me with BPD and I am freaking out. I always knew there was something wrong with me but refused to seek professional help. But recently I started dating again after my wife died 2 years ago. And the few attempts at a relationship have all failed. The last attempt ended in complete disaster and I wanted to end it all. My friend talked me into finally seeing a therapist and I am glad I did. But at the same time I am terrified. She wants me to start DBT soon. Worried about that cause of the group part of the therapy. Also worried I will get overwhelmed by the intense therapy and fail. Have not told anyone in my family yet,worried what they will think of me. Wondering if anyone here has told their family and if you have how did it go? Also wondering if I will ever be able to have a relationship again. My marriage was like a roller coaster. My wife put up with a lot of stuff from me and she never knew why I am the way I am. Now I feel guilty about that cause if I had sought help years ago then maybe it would've helped her understand me.
I am having a hard time dealing with all these emotions.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by Wingnut13

First I want to say hi to everyone here,HI. I started seeing a therapist a month ago and she has diagnosed me with BPD and I am freaking out. I always knew there was something wrong with me but refused to seek professional help. But recently I started dating again after my wife died 2 years ago. And the few attempts at a relationship have all failed. The last attempt ended in complete disaster and I wanted to end it all. My friend talked me into finally seeing a therapist and I am glad I did. But at the same time I am terrified. She wants me to start DBT soon. Worried about that cause of the group part of the therapy. Also worried I will get overwhelmed by the intense therapy and fail. Have not told anyone in my family yet,worried what they will think of me. Wondering if anyone here has told their family and if you have how did it go? Also wondering if I will ever be able to have a relationship again. My marriage was like a roller coaster. My wife put up with a lot of stuff from me and she never knew why I am the way I am. Now I feel guilty about that cause if I had sought help years ago then maybe it would've helped her understand me.
I am having a hard time dealing with all these emotions.

First off, welcome to the group. I hate that there is a need for such a group but the support I have received has been awesome.

Second, I am sorry for your wife's death. That must be very hard to deal with.

And lastly, BPD can be treated, you can learn better ways to cope with your emotions. It is not easy but it can be done. I would read all you can about BPD and DBT (a few good books are "I Hate You, Don't Leave", "BPD for Dummies", "Stop Walking on Eggshells", "DBT Skills Workbook"). A good website for DBT is DBT Self Help. There is a lot of negative stuff about BPD on the web, try and stay away from it. My husband went on a search for partners and found everything saying divorce now, luckily for me he does not agree. Group therapy can be overwhelming at first but you will find that the support you get from group can be really helpful.

[facingdemons]

Oh, how I relate to your post. I was diagnosed officially today, though I was previously diagnosed bipolar. My husband of 7 1/2 years left me in March, after I did years of terrible things. He put up with so much... I just wish I known what was really going on with my head... maybe things could have been different.
I'm in a relationship now, and things have been very rocky, but I'm hopeful that new therapy and possibly new meds might be able to stabilize me. My doctor has also recommended DBT, starting as soon as possible.

I sent an e-mail to a few members of my family (mom, grandmother, aunt, and my ex husband, as we still talk frequently mostly due to the children). I explained the diagnosis, and the treatment, etc... I haven't gotten a reply from anyone.

My current boyfriend (of almost 6 months) reacted really well... much better than I expected. He said, "it doesn't change who you are. You are the same person you were before you went into that doctor's office, you just have a different label."

I can't really offer you advice, since I'm just starting on the road to figure things out myself... but I can offer you the knowledge that you're not the only one. I hope that's something.

[Aphrodites_Muse]

Welcome to PC. Therapy is the best place to start honestly. It is proven to be more helpful for this disorder than meds, though meds often help with some symptoms. A lot of these fears you have are very normal. I felt the same way starting therapy 7 months ago. The process is slow, it's a personal growth really. These feelings and thoughts will be answered through the therapy process. Here at PC we struggle in similar ways and understand where you are coming from. This is a great place to express your concerns, sympathy, empathy, pains, joys, hobbies, and to share and gain wisdom with others.