[simplydivine1030]

Does anyone else feel worthless all the time? I also always think people are mad at me and are "done with me"... and it usually has nothing to do with me.

My mom verbally and emotionally abused me for all of my life. (I'm 31 now.) She picked at my weight and made me take diet pills from the age of 12 on. She made me have surgeries to lose weight and still will poke at my weight. She will grab my rolls and say my ***** looks like a barndoor. Now I can't even take a complement or any type of critism. I just feel so ugly and alone.

[technigal]

Your mom sounds like my dad was. Almost 7 years after his death and I can still hear his comments clearly in my head.

[Truth in Ruin]

Thats really extreme. I'm sorry you had to go through your childhood like that. *hug*

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by simplydivine1030

Does anyone else feel worthless all the time? I also always think people are mad at me and are "done with me"... and it usually has nothing to do with me.

My mom verbally and emotionally abused me for all of my life. (I'm 31 now.) She picked at my weight and made me take diet pills from the age of 12 on. She made me have surgeries to lose weight and still will poke at my weight. She will grab my rolls and say my ***** looks like a barndoor. Now I can't even take a complement or any type of critism. I just feel so ugly and alone.

I have these same feelings pretty much all the time. I grew up in a family of extremely thin women. I am curvy. I was constantly criticized for it. You are not alone in this.

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Oh my god that is horrid. No parent should ever talk to their child like that
! As the mother of two daughters the thought of talking to them like that makes me wanna cry.
You probably suffer fear of rejection and abandonment due to the emotional abuse you suffered. You are not alone in that.
*Hugs*

[simplydivine1030]

Thank you all so much. I'm so glad I found this forum because it really helps me to have people who understand and are going through the same things that I am.

I have been diagnosed with both BPD and Bipolar II, so you can imagine that my emotions are up and down by the hour.

I just hate the feeling of being worthless, ugly, fat, guilty, etc. When I walk into a room, I hold my head down because I automatically think I'm the ugliest one in the room. If I'm out and people are laughing, I'll assume they are making fun of me. Same thing if people I don't know look at me - I feel they are judging me and I'll be rude. Also, if someone compliments me - I then make a joke about myself b/c compliments freak me out. My T says I need to stop "Mindreading".. Easier said than done.

Truth is, I'll probably drink myself into oblivion tonight to get through family time.

I'm a guy but in spite of that I grew up with a very high focus on appearances and beauty. I was mocked and made fun of for the way I look (not about my weight, but other things) andI forever asm self conscious about what I look like.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

[beloiseau]

That sounds so hard, I'm sorry you went through that. but YES, I feel worthless, empty, replaceable, etc all the time. I'm still trying to find a way to deal.

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[Fuzzybear]

[Wingnut13]

Originally Posted by simplydivine1030

Does anyone else feel worthless all the time? I also always think people are mad at me and are "done with me"... and it usually has nothing to do with me.

My mom verbally and emotionally abused me for all of my life. (I'm 31 now.) She picked at my weight and made me take diet pills from the age of 12 on. She made me have surgeries to lose weight and still will poke at my weight. She will grab my rolls and say my ***** looks like a barndoor. Now I can't even take a complement or any type of critism. I just feel so ugly and alone.

I feel the same way all the time and it really sucks. Sorry you had to go through such emotional abuse,especially starting at an early age. I was emotionally and sexually abused throughout my childhood. The emotional abuse came from my father and all my so called friends. I am adopted and I was made to feel that I was not his true son. I don't think he did it intentionally but thats the way I felt. And once my friends found out I was adopted they never missed the chance to make fun of me. Saying things like "haha,your mom didn't love you,thats why she gave you up" or "you were so ugly your mama threw you away". And many other mean things. That lasted all the way through high school.
The sexual abuse was done to me by a friends uncle. And every time it happened there were people in the house but they didn't know what was happening. At least I don't think they knew. At the time I remember thinking "somebody please help me",but nobody ever did. It happened over and over again. I can still see his face and hear him saying "If you tell anybody I will kill you". Still have nightmares about it and i have never told my family that it happened.
So,ya I know where you are coming from. I feel the same way.

[rabbit1234]

I'm sorry you have to hear and feel that crap My dad was the one who is like your mom. No wonder I developed an eating disorder. It is very hard to feel good about yourself, but THEY are the ones with the problem, not you...
My dad is dead but I still hear his voice Hugs to you

[simplydivine1030]

Hugs to all of you.. I'm so glad to have found this forum. <3

[call-me-rin]

Originally Posted by beloiseau

That sounds so hard, I'm sorry you went through that. but YES, I feel worthless, empty, replaceable, etc all the time. I'm still trying to find a way to deal.

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Get out of my head!

I feel like... like... Like who cares? Who cares how I feel? It doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to my ex, my crush, my sister, my mother, my boss, my friends, it doesn't matter to anyone. who cares.

Yes. I know what you mean by feeling worthless.

And I definitely know what YOU mean by feeling empty and replaceable. Like an ornament that was dropped 2 minutes ago and shattered, and already, no one can remember the design on it. There are better ornaments on the tree anyway...

[beloiseau]

Originally Posted by call-me-rin

Get out of my head!

I feel like... like... Like who cares? Who cares how I feel? It doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to my ex, my crush, my sister, my mother, my boss, my friends, it doesn't matter to anyone. who cares.

Yes. I know what you mean by feeling worthless.

And I definitely know what YOU mean by feeling empty and replaceable. Like an ornament that was dropped 2 minutes ago and shattered, and already, no one can remember the design on it. There are better ornaments on the tree anyway...

o s

HAHA, you just made my day! I'm glad someone else is IN MY HEAD. It is so hard to deal with these feelings, and knowing that I'm not alone is AMAZING.

[facingdemons]

I feel very much the same. I usually think everyone is mad at me, and I apologize all the time, even when I'm not at fault. My boyfriend gets very frustrated with this. I'm always asking "what's wrong?" "are you ok?" etc...

I am overweight, and even after losing 80 pounds, my family still finds ways to comment about it. I haven't had to deal with the direct insults that you have, but I do know what it's like to be not feel good enough, thin enough, pretty enough.

I wish you the best.