[Maranara]

Yes, another group response one. Trying to get things out of my system and at the same time make it something that others can respond to.

This one happened this morning. I was given a storage thingie to put Keurig pods in for Christmas. I took the time last night to arrange it the way I wanted it, and when I went in this morning, it had been rearranged! I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but it happens constantly. I don't know how to organize the dishwasher, how to put dishes away, or how to fold clothes. Someone always comes behind me and redoes it and it gets me so mad.

[unaluna]

Wow. I would definitely see those as chores that werent mine anymore, for one thing.

Mine would be, when people wont eat my cooking. One time i invited the family over for dinner, and the mother insisted on bringing food "so it would be the same." That was the last time.

[crabbypatty]

Gee i actually feel the invalidation for you as thats the sort of thing that would happen to me amongst other things.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by hankster

Mine would be, when people wont eat my cooking. One time i invited the family over for dinner, and the mother insisted on bringing food "so it would be the same." That was the last time.

I can see people bringing additional food...side dishes and stuff, but not eating your food at all...that's messed up. My kids have done that on occasion...I make a meal and they don't want to eat, and that have always set me off, so I definitely get it.

[jadedbutterfly]

Family members "trying to help", but making things worse because no matter how much information I have given them about my mental health issues.... they can't seem to be bothered with reading the info... so I hear these way to often:
when I am clearly upset and am told "relax" or "your over-reacting" and "don't get upset"
when I am having a panic attack.. "calm down" (yeah like it's that easy to tell your body to stop reacting)

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by jadedbutterfly

Family members "trying to help", but making things worse because no matter how much information I have given them about my mental health issues.... they can't seem to be bothered with reading the info... so I hear these way to often:
when I am clearly upset and am told "relax" or "your over-reacting" and "don't get upset"
when I am having a panic attack.. "calm down" (yeah like it's that easy to tell your body to stop reacting)

The one I get that really hurts is when you're having severe issues with something/someone and you are accused of "playing games".

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by Maranara

The one I get that really hurts is when you're having severe issues with something/someone and you are accused of "playing games".

yeah or "your being manipulative" or "passive aggressive" arghhhh

Originally Posted by hankster

Wow. I would definitely see those as chores that werent mine anymore, for one thing.

Mine would be, when people wont eat my cooking. One time i invited the family over for dinner, and the mother insisted on bringing food "so it would be the same." That was the last time.

Oh that shouldn't bother you... at least not if they are kids. I just say "make your own food then, MOAR FOR MEEEEE!" XD Seriously though I know I cook well, my kids are just picky.

"Are you out of your meds again?"

[Truth in Ruin]

Originally Posted by jadedbutterfly

Family members "trying to help", but making things worse because no matter how much information I have given them about my mental health issues.... they can't seem to be bothered with reading the info... so I hear these way to often:
when I am clearly upset and am told "relax" or "your over-reacting" and "don't get upset"
when I am having a panic attack.. "calm down" (yeah like it's that easy to tell your body to stop reacting)

What's with NONs not reading-up on this stuff?... Seriously, I don't get it.

[Truth in Ruin]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

"Are you out of your meds again?"

Thems fightin words.

[Truth in Ruin]

Originally Posted by Maranara

The one I get that really hurts is when you're having severe issues with something/someone and you are accused of "playing games".

Accused of being, or doing something that is not true is infuriating.

[eskielover]

I remember before I got married (back in 1975) my soon to be MIL told me about how my soon to be H walked out on her dinner on the table if he didn't like what she cooked & went to McDonalds.

I clued him in.....the first time he ever did that would be his last because the locks on the door would be changed & the divorce papers waitiing.....it's called boundaried & has absolutely NOTHING to do with mental illness....it has to do with mental well being!!!!!

Unfortunately he had so much other crap he brought into the marriage that I didn't get the boundaries set on.....I was finally able to escape....but it was 33 years later (20 years I hid out getting my degree & working as an engineer).....it was the last 13 that was hell

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Truth in Ruin

Accused of being, or doing something that is not true is infuriating.

My problem is, I hear it so much, that it's very easy to start believing it after a while.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I remember before I got married (back in 1975) my soon to be MIL told me about how my soon to be H walked out on her dinner on the table if he didn't like what she cooked & went to McDonalds.

I clued him in.....the first time he ever did that would be his last because the locks on the door would be changed & the divorce papers waitiing.....it's called boundaried & has absolutely NOTHING to do with mental illness....it has to do with mental well being!!!!!

Unfortunately he had so much other crap he brought into the marriage that I didn't get the boundaries set on.....I was finally able to escape....but it was 33 years later (20 years I hid out getting my degree & working as an engineer).....it was the last 13 that was hell

Almost 25 years here...I hope to begin on some major changes this year.

Being told I'm such a child.

Or being told I should go back on my meds...

[technigal]

the biggest for me was when I told my dad I had been sexually assaulted when I was 11 and he did not believe me. Fast forward 20 years when the police were looking for me as a victim of this pedophile. my dad never did apologize for not believing me, his comments was "how was I supposed to know?" Maybe because your daughter told you!!!

And for those who are curious, my abuser was convicted and received a sentence of 6 years. The police know that there were more victims then the 3 he was convicted of, as far as I know there have been no more convictions and he is out of jail.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Maranara

This one happened this morning. I was given a storage thingie to put Keurig pods in for Christmas. I took the time last night to arrange it the way I wanted it, and when I went in this morning, it had been rearranged!

I asked him why....he said "it was thrown together haphazardly and not organized at all". My son and I did it last night and it made perfect sense to us. Add a little insult to injury why don't cha!

[Truth in Ruin]

Originally Posted by technigal

the biggest for me was when I told my dad I had been sexually assaulted when I was 11 and he did not believe me. Fast forward 20 years when the police were looking for me as a victim of this pedophile. my dad never did apologize for not believing me, his comments was "how was I supposed to know?" Maybe because your daughter told you!!!

And for those who are curious, my abuser was convicted and received a sentence of 6 years. The police know that there were more victims then the 3 he was convicted of, as far as I know there have been no more convictions and he is out of jail.

I would love to kill that guy, with my bare hands. Sorry Mags.

[beloiseau]

Oh man all the stuff everyone has said rings true... Especially when people say stuff like 'get a hobby', 'get over it', or 'you have no reason to feel that way'. Every adult conversation I have with my mother includes me being invalidated and validating her emotions (I wish i would have figured this out years ago). Any conversation with my sister and my dad is the same way, because they still live with her. If you ask them, I have no reason to feel the way I feel so I should just forget about it.

[eskielover]

I think my worst invalidation was after I caught the home care person on the phone using my mother's ID it think to try & get a credit card in her name (had to fight to get the phone away from her).....& the phone went dead as I was walking back into the bedroom I was staying in. (this was when whole lot of scary stuff was going on & I was trying to figure out what all was happening).

After she left the house I went & looked at the base phone chord & it had been cut & the scissors were right there by the phone.....when she came back to the house I ran down to the neighbor's house to have a witness & his comment was that the cat had broken the phone chord......a little later when my husband came down to my mother's home.....I told him what had happened & he looked at me like I was crazy.....later he commented that he was trying to make sense out of it because things like that just don't happen to people like my mother who are basically lower class (even though her home was completely paid for).

Oh yes....a few months after that, I was going to therapy with a T I had seen years before because the T I was seeing had back surgery during the time I was going through the trauma......she compared what I went through with a bottle of wine that had been taken from her grandmother's house when she had someone come in to take care of her house when she was elderly. .....there was no way of comparing the trauma I went through with a bottle of wine being taken from someone's home......talk about feeling invalidated.....& angry!!!!!

Almost 25 years here...I hope to begin on some major changes this year.

I made major changes 6 years ago.....I left him & moved 2100 miles away after my mother died of cancer (right after the incident I talked about above). It took me a couple of years to get healthy enough after going through that trauma & the anorexia that hit me with the trauma......but I finally got out of the marriage.....NEVER TO GO BACK!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Truth in Ruin

Thems fightin words.

Well yeah. I suspect that was her intent too >.> (my ex)

My ex-husband always used to do this to me!
He would have me fold clean clothing, and then redo it. Made me feel really invalidated and annoyed that I wasted the time.

[lrt1978]

I'm made to feel like I am always wrong, even though I know I am right and being told "stop being silly, your just being stupid" " stop overreacting"

Yeah just made to feel like I am thick and stupid

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Trippin2.0]

After outing my "brother" as my abuser to my family and declaring a "No Contact" rule with him and anyone who even tries to change my mind.... This was a response I received after voicing my disgust at being tagged in FB pics:

"Well nobody told you not to join us for Christmas or New Years, you chose to be alone. You're always welcome to join in, you know this"

AAaaaaaaaaaah am I the only one with a fricken brain in this familyyyyy????
Seriously!!!