[NeverBeenLoved]

I am new here and this is my first post. I made the mistake of calling my Mom today when I was crying thinking that maybe she could support me through it. Boy was I wrong, she reemed me out telling me how I wasn't doing enough to help myself get better that there must be more that I could do, that my P-doc didn't know what he was talking about if he said there was no specific meds for what I have and that I must be on the wrong meds. And I must not be getting very good medical care. That I need to go to my couselling appts which I always do. She said it was up to me to figure out how to get better.

I don't get it why can she just do her job as a mother and love me and support me, instead of telling me that it's all my fault that I am the way I am. And that she has pretty much given up on me.

NeverBeenLoved

[Verity81]

Pretty much sounds like my mother. I no longer have contact with her due to the emotional abuse. When I was having a crisis a few years ago she called me having a go and saying my sister (who was supporting me) wasn't my real family and that I shouldn't be going to the mental health team etc etc. This was all whilst she knew I was suicidal. I've been called names, been lied to and told I had to change and was bad etc.
It just goes to show for me the extent the critical and invalidating environment can harm you. Do you have other family and friends you can go to for support?

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[ifst5]

Definitely sounds like my 'Mother,' as well. Maybe it's time to start letting go of what can't be and try building enough of a life outside of what they've done so that in time the recollections are less painful. Far from easy i know, but if you've exhausted other ways of trying to improve the relationship, moving on might be a more viable option. Keep posting, we're here to listen.

[Bluesday]

My mother has passed, but we didn't talk for many years before her death. There isn't much worse a feeling than when the person who is supposed to be closest and look out for you the most.......doesn't.

[SkyWhite]

My mom was horribly cruel and she was a nurse! Sounds like your mom could maybe be feeling guilty or confused or frustrated about what is happening to you. She doesn't appear to have a great deal of empathy though. But moms are people too.

Maybe you can let her know what you need from her and if she can't provide that, you'll have to accept it. And tell your mom that getting well from a mental illness is not a race and there is no magic pill that will cure you 100%. You're obviously are doing your part to get better, so pat yourself on the back.

I've come to realize that I have to learn to mother myself the way my mom couldn't.

[NeverBeenLoved]

Glad to know that others have experienced the same as me. Thanks for the support guys.

[greentires4me]

my mom does the same thing to me she is just a hag....when I am lonely or crying she just bullies me. So I have Succumbed to only to phone her when its a holiday and see whats up and what we are doing...

[lifesohard]

Hi I to am new here. I am a mom of 2, but my own mother was very difficult. She committed suicide when i was almost 19. Listen, we wont always get the response or support from those closest to us. Why that is i dont know, but when you need a specific response or you need someone to tell you its going to be okay look to a friend or someone you trust and knows you. Its not fair that you cant go to your mom for support maybe she just doesnt know what to say or how to say it?

hang in there!

[Verity81]

Yep I've come to realise real family isn't always your blood relatives!

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Originally Posted by NeverBeenLoved

I am new here and this is my first post. I made the mistake of calling my Mom today when I was crying thinking that maybe she could support me through it. Boy was I wrong, she reemed me out telling me how I wasn't doing enough to help myself get better that there must be more that I could do, that my P-doc didn't know what he was talking about if he said there was no specific meds for what I have and that I must be on the wrong meds. And I must not be getting very good medical care. That I need to go to my couselling appts which I always do. She said it was up to me to figure out how to get better.

I don't get it why can she just do her job as a mother and love me and support me, instead of telling me that it's all my fault that I am the way I am. And that she has pretty much given up on me.

NeverBeenLoved

I feel like I wrote this!!! That's for you, I'm sorry you're going through this. At least we all relate and understand. Great advice is written here too. You're doing what you can to take care of yourself, continue and you will keep seeing the benefits. Take care

[henrydavidtherobot]

I constantly make the mistake of trying to go to my mother for support and always regret it.

[jk2833]

My mother too, wow there's a lot of us here with the same mental health disorder all of whom have issues with our mother.
Is there a connection? ..... Of course there is.
Other mothers bend over backwards for their children, I know I do as a mum, there's no way I could not be supportive or let them down when they need me most.
Take care all
J