Steady :/ I guess ... I should feel some happiness I have date night with bf but I just cannot be bothered doing usual girlie stuff of picking outfit... I'd rather be holed up x

[Lefty_Mac]

See THIS POST. And my mood icon. I may have ''lost'' all my friends in Brazil, but I'm already making new ones elsewhere. And thus begins my new life.

[Britneigh]

Whisky and Coke is keeping me in the happy zone. I got a new cup that has a button to open and close the spout which is perfect for mixing drinks in and it's orange which is my favorite colour.

[sideblinded]

Still up.....still thinking.....as usual.....

[shezbut]

I am having a really difficult time. The words, "I hate you! Don't leave me" describe me to a freaking "T" and I am just hating myself right now. I never saw myself as being "manipulative", just referring to the word now infuriates me. But...maybe I am manipulative. Maybe that's why I can't hold onto any friendships. My ex-bf's hate me, so no friendship there either. Just feeling...idk...sad and lonely. Guilty.

[Kimaya]

Coming to terms with being manipulative has been one of the hardest parts of this (therapy) for me... I feel like I had blinkers on, and I still don't know how to stop it.

*hugs*

Feeling like an utter failure.

If you're so busy trying to hold on to life that you don't have time to live it, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of holding on?

Well am enrolling in my course today..... Yup now am nervous instead of excited 0.0 x x

[Britneigh]

I rode my horse bridless, bareback and drunk as eff...and managed to get a video. I have no clue how I stayed on but I love her for baby sitting me❤

[isntlifewonderful]

Why am I not taking my meds? Seriously. It's dumb as **** as I'm only doing it to prevent myself from feeling better. My mental illness is who I am. I don't want to recover. Oh and I met A's dealer yesterday. She had terrible abstinence as she's trying to get clean, plus she's broke so I met him to give him the money she owed him. I gave him the money but ended up calling him disgusting and saying that he ruined her life and didn't deserve my respect. He looked butthurt, but hey, I didn't get physical. Pretty proud of myself. And I'm glad he's not mad at her because of this.

[Kimaya]

Ugh. I am supposed to be doing **** today.... but here I am. Laying in bed looking on the internets and thinking of playing a video game.

[Lefty_Mac]

Not, dreaming, blacking out instead of sleeping and having nightmares awake. It's as if it all reverted.

[Verity81]

Angry, tired, fed up and anxious. Seriously wanna run away and hide from the world.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Espresso]

Sick. I'm sick. It came out of nowhere. I hate this.

[detachedangst]

Been out of psych hospital for 2 days and feeling a smidgen better. Came out feeling the exact same as I went in, total waste of time.

[shezbut]

I am feeling enamored (once again) with my ex-bf, Eric. My daughters love him too, they trust him. His family is terrific. I am scared to give too much of myself though...afraid that he may meet another....

[Heather Unbalanced]

Great thread.
New to site.
Fresh break-up.
Newly diagnosed BPD.
Bouts of sadness
but actually fairly peaceful.

[Britneigh]

I've been drinking since Tuesday evening...ooops

[waiting4]

It's amazing that people just don't see the squirrel on the wheel that is my brain. One should recognize the fake smiles...maybe I do them too well....or the red eyes from crying...maybe I account for them too expertly. But the sighs where emotional weight demands admittance and my chest just cannot manage....glances at foreign unknowns just past their expressions....how can they not see that?

I'm so alone.

[Lefty_Mac]

Like I said, I'm living my subconscious and dreaming of nothing. This morning, I'm back in 1988.

Tonight is going to be a long night.

I swear this dog is just stretching out 'recovery' so I keep coddling it lol

[shakespeare47]

I couldn't sleep last night (I think I slept for about 3 hours) because I kept running through conversations in my head. What I said.. what they said. What they really meant. What I'm going to do differently in our next encounter.... I'm exhausted.

[Espresso]

Ugh. Still sick. Used some interpersonal effectiveness skills today. I don't know if it worked because my husband apparently wasn't willing to have any kind of meaningful discussion with me. But at least I tried.

[isntlifewonderful]

Empty. I don't know where all those feelings went. I just want A to be here and hold me right now. I don't feel safe. Been an alright day though I guess.

[shakespeare47]

Met with some new potential friends last night. Now I'm dealing with thoughts like... did I impose myself on them?, did they notice my lack of interpersonal skills? Did they laugh at me behind my back when I left? Am I just a narcissistic *** because this is all I can think about? Ugh..