5) You know you are Borderline when...

I get really bad anxiety when anything is late, so many things go through my head. They know I am waiting so they are doing this on purpose. It's because it's me.

When you chat about making plans with people but a tiny voice in your brain always tells you, "Don't get your hopes up because this plan will never come through" because you've been disappointed so many times by so many people.

When a guy who is exactly the type of man you've been looking for, has all of the qualities you desire, and shares significant mutual life experiences with you is attentive (more so than he has to be), kind, flirtatious, complementary, and adequately interested in what you have to say you make up all of the reasons why he couldn't possibly, actually be attracted to you for real: He's only that attentive because he's doing his job, he's only touching me a lot because it's his job and he's probably just touchy-feely anyway, he's a musician so he's probably used to a lot of female attention, he's probably just naturally flirtatious, ...he's a Scorpio (I mean, really???)

...You send 6 very emotional and lengthy emails to your DBT clinic over the weekend...

...You vouch never to attach or trust another therapist - and the very next session you have - you want to crumble into their arms and melt...

When you spend money you know you dont have or actually dont belong to you, on some bs you really dont need.

When people think they know you and your tastes (or maybe it's because they DON'T really know you and your tastes as I know I'm still trying to figure that out), and they buy you horrible gifts that make absolutely no sense as to why they got them for you in the first place, but because you mentioned once.....ONCE that you liked that 1970's lime green furry carpet or the crocheted hat/scarf with the bird nest on top, you receive an ugly faux-leather brown purse with fringe on it and 2 cigars for your birthday!!!!

And you get PO'ed because they didn't get it right....

You spill all your "beans" and afterwards feel like poo. Figuring it out afterwards...

...you send 4 emails to your psychiatrist overnight, telling her that you may lose your life while under her care... (what the hell was I thinking)

Dang emotion mind...

You refuse to own a phone because you can't read emotions in person let alone by voice alone and when you do use one you think everyone you talk to is angry with you.

You wait patently for a pause in the conversation and then speak your mind,When nobody responds in any way or with raised eyebrows, you just leave, feeling like you are not worth anything.

You've quit jobs because people don't talk to you. Then you quit jobs because people won't shut up.

When you don't know how to let go of past events even though you've succeeded to settle it in therapy. The past has a vice grip on your thoughts that are attached to a bungee cord that keeps coming back! It never lets go! Yet your not sure how to keep it from intruding in your daily life. Seems like a vicious circle!!!

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... you get caught up in a mood swing and find yourself in a screaming match with your supervisor over who's guilty of stealing her oreos.

You are drunker than a skunk because you are alone with no supportive system in your town and no hopes of ever achieving this in your lifetime.

If no one had ever told you about Borderline would you still feel this way? It seems maybe you'd be more optimistic. It's only a label. Hugs.

Thank you!

You go to print out the notes for tomorrow's psych nursing theory lecture only to realize you get to sleep in and take tomorrow off because tomorrow's lecture is about personality disorders!

[QUOTE=Blue_velvet09;3855480]When you like someone and instead of putting on a flattering front, I sabotage the conversation by putting myself down or over sharing.

I don't know why I do this!! It's like I subconsciously mess things up because I don't feel worthy or something... It's completely embarrassing, Then I also feel pathetic. especially when open up too much to someone who I know but don't really know.

[QUOTE=someothertime;4396984]YES to the over-sharing. I don't know if it's a self-sabotage thing or just a boundary thing. I know I have a problem with them. Not so much that I'm codependent as I was when I was younger, but that I still don't exactly know where the acceptable social lines are.

Not sure if this is relatable. When you forget the reason why you brokeup with your last bf, then remember (usually involves me being uncontrollably angry and saying a bunch of junk I shouldn't say, not sure about you all), and then remember that you really wanted him to come back to you and say everything is ok, and that even though it's been months, you still wish he would come back to you and say that everything is ok, but you know he probably won't because this isn't the first time you've done this to him.

[QUOTE=someothertime;4396984]Maybe you're just trying to be real?

When you've been crying since early afternoon and the fact that you don't have anything to just numb the pain (alcohol, anything) makes you cry harder. And then the fact that you also know you are a medical professional and know better and would feel guilty for using anything to numb the pain makes you cry even more.

You can't freaking win.

When you severely overreact to something that doesn't call for such an overreaction?

This happened the other day. Had to go to jury duty, didn't want to, got so angry that I slammed my bedroom door shut, threw things against the wall, destroyed all of my work for a story I was writing, and cried half the time, along with getting extremely angry the other half.............

when you just want to stay at home and rest for a while

Oh how that is what I've been experiencing Bamboo_RedPanda. Today, I couldn't get a file printed and I got so frustrated I just grabbed my head and screamed! Then stormed off and kicked the cat toy down the hallway. Agh! My cat was wide eyed. I had to take a med to calm down. It took a bit but I did get calmed and the file was printed. I think under my frustration was a control issue, like when I expect someone to hear me and their not!!! This is a HUGE TRIGGER for me. Agh! Enough said...

I feel that way constantly like I'm being judged and watched