[Crazy Hitch]

I am really fine

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

I am really fine

Glad to hear you have struggled so much.

[celtic.starlite]

I want to curl up in a ball and disappear.

[Britneigh]

So very tired. but still enjoying having my own place. The pup is settling. Keeps me company.

Feeling a little better. More lonesome than anything.

[tigersassy]

Had therapy yesterday and it went well. I'm so happy that I found this therapist. I'm hopefully. She thinks that my bpd traits aren't ingrained since I can rationalize myself out of it most times. So far I really like the book she has me working out of. Its called Surviving A Borderline Parent. It's tough in places and I've had to take breaks from it, but it's worth it so far.

[Britneigh]

Feeling so very sad

[Verity81]

Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor

Here's what I'm learning...

It is just a blip. They are all just blips. Our mind is like an ocean and the troubles are like waves in that ocean. They come... They go. Easy to understand, in my mind, but hard to accept and rationalize when I am in the throws of something. It's true though. Hang in there. Only a couple days ago I was ready to check out.

Oh, and they are patterns. It's what we call "tendencies." Like my idea to "check out." It is a tendency for me to find an escape from an uncomfortable feeling. I tend to want to do the wrong thing instead of just observing my feelings and allowing them to just be. You know I tend to say to myself, "I'm depressed" instead of saying "I am having uncomfortable feelings." So then I start to identify more with being depressed. This is not to say that I don't have a chemical imbalance, but if I can remember (again very hard due to tendencies) to phrase or look at things differently then the whole episode is less long and dramatic.

I hope that was helpful...

Wise words indeed? Thank you! I'm learning to ride the waves and it can be a struggle. Overall though I have noticed that the emotional intensity does subside quicker when I'm not adding judgements to it such as 'I'm so stupid' or 'I failed'

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Got a 90% on today's psych nursing theory exam. Now I just have Thursday's final, and I'm done with this class. Next up...pediatrics. (Not looking forward to that one at all.)

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Got a 90% on today's psych nursing theory exam. Now I just have Thursday's final, and I'm done with this class. Next up...pediatrics. (Not looking forward to that one at all.)

Congrats

Why not pediatrics?

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Congrats

Why not pediatrics?

Thank you.

I don't know. I think both because I have very little exposure to it and because I've heard "horror" stories about this particular class. It's new dosages for drugs to remember, new lab values, new vital sign parameters, plus I'm on the "step-down" unit from the Peds ICU for my clinical...so still pretty sick kids with complex problems. I think I'm just nervous.

I heard horror stories about some of the other classes that I did just fine in, so I really try not to let those get to me.

PS I actually got a 94% today. I'm thinking she must have tossed out some questions because that's better than what I calculated. I've had that happen at least once in every class so far. Definitely don't mind when professors toss out questions in our favor.

[tigersassy]

Keeping myself pretty level which is absolutely wonderful.

[Bill3]

Misskeena: I have had the opportunity to speak to some nursing students about what they are expected to know. And I have seen their textbooks! I would just like to say that you and they are truly impressive for the sheer volume and depth and complexity of the subject matter that you come to demonstrate mastery of in your studies.

Originally Posted by Bill3

Misskeena: I have had the opportunity to speak to some nursing students about what they are expected to know. And I have seen their textbooks! I would just like to say that you and they are truly impressive for the sheer volume and depth and complexity of the subject matter that you come to demonstrate mastery of in your studies.

Thank you for that. I think some people aren't aware of what nurses do; one of my closest friends thought that they did what the nursing assistants actually do, so she couldn't understand why I was always so exhausted and had to study all the time. When I explained what I was studying she was like, "I thought that was med school stuff." It kind of is, and med students do need to know far more in-depth than I really do. But who is with the patient more, nurse or physician? The nurse better know pharmacology and pathophysiology so that (s)he can recognize when certain interventions need to be made and when, and when it's time to wake the physician up at 3am!

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Thank you for that. I think some people aren't aware of what nurses do; one of my closest friends thought that they did what the nursing assistants actually do, so she couldn't understand why I was always so exhausted and had to study all the time. When I explained what I was studying she was like, "I thought that was med school stuff." It kind of is, and med students do need to know far more in-depth than I really do. But who is with the patient more, nurse or physician? The nurse better know pharmacology and pathophysiology so that (s)he can recognize when certain interventions need to be made and when, and when it's time to wake the physician up at 3am!

I have great admiration for nurses watching them when my mom is in and out of the hospital. Very impressive and so noble. Hugs

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

feeling terrible and agitated and like i want to scream and sad and ugh i dont even know anymore.

[Britneigh]

Feeling cruddy lately. Bought another guinea pig. Not that I needed one or should have bought one. Money is tight. But he's adorable and home. So I guess it is what it is. They'll eat before I do.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Sometimes I wonder if I just don't know how to be happy. I mean I can't think of anything that is bothering me yet I still don't feel happy. I don't even feel ok. I'd be satisfied with ok.

(I don't care if my post gets flagged or removed)

I'm very close to death. Life is very simple now. I try to enjoy what most animals and birds take for granted - fresh air, views of the Pacific ocean.

... till the darkness descends.

[ThunderGoddess]

In the black hole of terror, pain and familiarity. Is this f****** real please just wake me up and tell me it's a dream.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

(I don't care if my post gets flagged or removed)

I'm very close to death. Life is very simple now. I try to enjoy what most animals and birds take for granted - fresh air, views of the Pacific ocean.

... till the darkness descends.

1-800-273-TALK

You are not alone in this. We are here for you. You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change! It has for me EVERY time. I may not be able to understand exactly what you are going through, but I care about you. Tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute... whatever you can manage.

Please don't do it.

Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor

1-800-273-TALK

You are not alone in this. We are here for you. You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change! It has for me EVERY time. I may not be able to understand exactly what you are going through, but I care about you. Tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute... whatever you can manage.

Please don't do it.

Thanks, dear Achy.

I've tried it all. Nothing works. Not on this Earth.

If it's any consolation, I will be happier elsewhere. I'll be able to communicate with you in a more magical way.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

Thanks, dear Achy.

I've tried it all. Nothing works. Not on this Earth.

If it's any consolation, I will be happier elsewhere. I'll be able to communicate with you in a more magical way.

You know some people say that if you do what I think you are thinking about... That you have to come back and start again. You keep coming back until you get it right. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to start this whole process over.

As far as communicating in a more magical way... That's assuming that I'm open to it and seeing that there's very little I believe in, I don't see that happening. I'd rather see you stick around, be patient with life, and see what happens next. If it is as bad as you say it is... It stands to reason that it can only get better.

There are a lot of people who are in the grips of leaving this Earth that wish they had just one more day.



if it's ok.

[Bill3]

1-800-273-TALK

Talk to someone who is trained to listen, someone who wants to listen so much that they volunteer to do it.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by Achy Turtle Armor

You know some people say that if you do what I think you are thinking about... That you have to come back and start again. You keep coming back until you get it right. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have to start this whole process over.

As far as communicating in a more magical way... That's assuming that I'm open to it and seeing that there's very little I believe in, I don't see that happening. I'd rather see you stick around, be patient with life, and see what happens next. If it is as bad as you say it is... It stands to reason that it can only get better.

There are a lot of people who are in the grips of leaving this Earth that wish they had just one more day.



if it's ok.

I wish it would get better . It just keeps getting worse in my case. I can't even communicate on this forum right per the most of the forum members.