[Britneigh]

I got another dog. I love him to pieces and he's everything I wanted in a dog...but him and my other dog are not getting along. I hope they settle because the new guy is my dream dog, I've always wanted a Border Collie.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by technigal

I remember you too!

hehe thank you. Nice to be remembered!

Car search is not going well at all. The people who are supposed to be "helping" have either completely wasted my time sending me on wild goose chases or are completely tone deaf as to what I need. So, as per the usual, I told them all thanks but no thanks; I will take care of it on my own. I always have. I always do.

[dancinglady]

My experience is if you ask for help you have to accept the help that is given whether it is not exactly right. I would be thankful to people if they were caring about me enough to help me.

Originally Posted by dancinglady

My experience is if you ask for help you have to accept the help that is given whether it is not exactly right. I would be thankful to people if they were caring about me enough to help me.

But we're all allowed to vent and on PC regardless of whether other people think we're right or wrong, yeah?

I am not the best at accepting help, that is certain. People offline know this about me very well. Some people love me in spite of it. But in this case I eventually accepted help from the correct people.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

What a crazy day I just had in my head. Really. Woke up early to a migraine. Certainly due to stress. Dealt with it until around noon. Went to get taxes done and owed money. Thankfully I didn't need the $300 I had saved for therapy. Insurance is now paying for all of my therapy.

My dad called to say that he was arriving earlier than I thought so I had to clean as much as I could, as fast as I could. He still commented how dusty, cluttered, and messy my home is and how his wife would "have a heart attack if she were here." If only... No. Not really.

So I take before and after pics of the guest bedroom to show my sister and therapist. I send them both messages and only my sister responds. Every time she messages me and I hear my phone I think, "Please be T. Please be T." An hour later I am regretting sending him the text and say to myself, "ATA, T is your therapist not your friend." It makes me sad but helps me deal with no reply from him. A few minutes later I get a message from T that says, "Bravo!" Made me so happy. The doorbell rings and it's my dad.

It is kinda effed up that I want to be with both my dad and my T. I see dad 3 times a year if I am lucky which is usually 3 times more than my sisters get to see him. I of course feel guilty about it and don't know why it is like this. My dad ignored the s*** outta me when I was young. I spent a lot of time just sitting in the same room with him, hoping he'd notice me. This explains why I want to just sit in the same room with my therapist even if he is busy working on something.

So it's like I want my therapist to be my dad from childhood and do it right this time while I am mostly happy with my dad being who he is now to me.

Anyway, it's good to be with my dad. He is fixing my computer, going to try to fix my washing machine, bought me dinner, and he is taking some of my ex husband's clothes off my hands. That's what happens when you leave your s*** behind. The rest is going to Goodwill soon.

Thanks for letting me ramble and decompress here.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

24 hours later and my dad is gone again. I feel sad that he's gone while happy that I have my privacy back. I never feel more Borderline than when I am with my dad. I become the epitome of I hate you... Don't leave me. Though I think hate is too strong of a word. Maybe disappointed.

The worst part is that I think I was thinking about my therapist more than ever because I could hear myself talking about him a lot. Explain that. Why do I keep trying to get my therapist to be my dad and then when my dad is right here I am not focused on him?

I am going to take a long nap...

[dancinglady]

If you are in psychodynamic therapy re parenting is a major component. He may psychologically trying to repair the damage of your father. He may be showing you what a good father. Any child wants and needs a good enough father. It is not surprising that your little inner child is thinking about the good enough father.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

If you are in psychodynamic therapy re parenting is a major component. He may psychologically trying to repair the damage of your father. He may be showing you what a good father. Any child wants and needs a good enough father. It is not surprising that your little inner child is thinking about the good enough father.

Thanks for your thoughts on this. I think that you are probably correct. Reading what you wrote makes sense to me and has reduced my anxiety over the whole thing. I really appreciate that.

BTW, I forgot to mention that he will be back next weekend and then he is gone again until October... He says.

[LittleEarthquakes]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Hello.

Hello!

[jeremiahgirl]

Having a hard time controlling my emotions. Presently crying reaching out for support from someone else who knows this feeling.

In therapy dealing with my fear of men and knowing therapy is coming to a close....,

Raging at my neighbor who doesn't control their child which prevents me from sleeping. Wishing I could manage it by destroying their car!

Crying because of conflict in my brain just wanna end it all but that's not really the solution. I wanna be held by someone to just feel my PAIN!

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[Espresso]

I'm so sick of living like this.

[dancinglady]

Went to a naturopathic holistic MD today. We are going to use supplements for my mental illness. She said that most psychiatric medicine slowly destroys a persons liver. I think this may be a good match. She is open to looking at the whole person not just the disease. My insurance is actually paying for all of this.

[cinnamondolce11]

hi! I guess I'm new around here,, I've been so lonely lately but it's my own fault. I can't control how I feel about my friends and I keep alienating them because they can't handle the fact that sometimes I want to spend all my time with them and sometimes the way they breathe irritates me.. so I'm just studying alone for finals today even though everyone else around me is studying with their friends... lol sorry that was a super whiny first post

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[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Went to a naturopathic holistic MD today. We are going to use supplements for my mental illness. She said that most psychiatric medicine slowly destroys a persons liver. I think this may be a good match. She is open to looking at the whole person not just the disease. My insurance is actually paying for all of this.

So glad you found alternate approach and one that you feel comfortable with. I hope this works for you

[Espresso]

Bad, bad day.

[Mindful55]

Originally Posted by Espresso

Bad, bad day.

Espresso: thinking of you..be safe

[Espresso]

Today is going to be even worse than yesterday.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

The work week is over. I worked alone today because my help had asked off. I feel good about my day though because I received 135 boxes on my own, almost twice what is expected of me. Still, I'm feeling a bit down. I've got an NA meeting tonight in about an hour. Don't want to go but it will help delay the crash that I feel is coming. I'm feeling very lonely.

[Britneigh]

My dog killed all 4 of my guinea pigs. I feel so sick.

[Mindful55]

Originally Posted by Britneigh

My dog killed all 4 of my guinea pigs. I feel so sick.

Britneigh - hit thanks in error..

I am so sorry about your guinea pigs..

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[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by Britneigh

My dog killed all 4 of my guinea pigs. I feel so sick.

Awww. I'm so sorry. I know this doesn't change things but your dog was just doing what comes naturally. As I'm typing this on my walk my 2 dogs are pulling their leashes trying to get the wild rabbit they see. if it's ok.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Originally Posted by cinnamondolce11

hi! I guess I'm new around here,, I've been so lonely lately but it's my own fault. I can't control how I feel about my friends and I keep alienating them because they can't handle the fact that sometimes I want to spend all my time with them and sometimes the way they breathe irritates me.. so I'm just studying alone for finals today even though everyone else around me is studying with their friends... lol sorry that was a super whiny first post

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hey there,

I find studying alone to be much more productive even if it is a little less fun.

And I know how you feel with the friend situation. It is a constant struggle and I'm always bailing on plans and then organising new ones the next day. Luckily I've got a couple good friends who accept how I am and are really understanding. (And I've had a lot more friends who didn't understand and now hate me, ha)

[Angelique67]

I wish I could post and feel like no one is reading it. I'm very sad about my one friendship. He hates visiting me and I can't really blame him considering I don't have a great opinion of myself. We hardly ever talk anymore. Often he's tense and sarcastic.

I'm messed up with my sleep/wake schedule and everything is feeling more and more out of control. After my friend visits I can start "rolling forward" - staying up later and later until I'm going to sleep at around 9 pm again and waking by 4 or 5 am. It should take about 2 weeks. I'm just so scared about everything. Actually, I'm not so sure that will work out so well. I haven't done it since last fall and everything's different now that I'm not smoking.

I don't understand how I've ended up like this. I don't understand the past 10 years at all.

[FooZe]

The new thread is here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/borde...hread-6-a.html