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#1
Aug 23, 2014, 08:56 PM
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And I can't seem to stop it. It keeps coming in waves.....and I'm drowning in it....
I alternately want to pull every hair out of my head, and crawl between snarled sheets and just frucking cry and cry and cry...... Been so long since such a melt down....and my kids are coming over tonight...wothehell....do I claim allergies again for the puffy eyes? Do I cancel......again????? I hate me. I hate me. I hate me. God it's so awful. I'm drowning.
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 Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
 anon111614, Anonymous100154, Anonymous100185, Anonymous200145, Astriferous, Atypical_Disaster, Djinn8, Fuzzybear, Gavinandnikki, Harmacy, Pierro, sideblinded, Travelinglady
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#2
Aug 23, 2014, 09:03 PM
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Hi, waiting4. I am sorry you are so depressed. Are you seeing a professional about it? Then I suggest you call and let him/her know how bad things are getting. I don't like to be with myself when I am depressed either.
Yes, you can claim allergies again if your kids are too young to understand that mom is upset about something. 
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 waiting4
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#3
Aug 23, 2014, 09:10 PM
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Quote:
i feel the same.
__________________
desperately trying not to drown |
| waiting4
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| waiting4
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#4
Aug 23, 2014, 10:20 PM
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Quote:
My kids are older so they will know unless I lie. So I lie. I lie because the truth hurts more.... And yet, I know they will know it's a lie so we will get to spend that awkward moment where no one actually says what's happening. That mom is losing it again. horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible....is there a chant I haven't said, trying to purge this??????????? damnit
__________________
Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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#5
Aug 23, 2014, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
I'm sorry. It should only be me. I hate that it's anyone else. And I don't understand that in some ways it's nice that its someone else too....because I hate to be me. And I would never wish anyone to be me.
__________________
Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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#6
Aug 24, 2014, 10:26 AM
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Hey waiting4
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so awful. You have helped me on here tremendously. You are an asset here. I have been there so many times. I care about you and I will pray for you. (I hope this does not offend you.) Please hang in there as it will pass as it always does. Please take care! MDD ADHD GAD |
| waiting4
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#7
Aug 24, 2014, 10:55 AM
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waiting4
__________________
"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born.... and the day you find out why" ~ Mark Twain |
| waiting4
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#8
Aug 25, 2014, 02:43 PM
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| waiting4
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#9
Aug 25, 2014, 11:40 PM
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I have extreme self loathing for many reasons. I can understand how you feel and how hard it is to deal when you feel that way. Be strong for your children. Thats what I try to do, I have 4. They do catch on to your pain. Hang in there
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| waiting4
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#10
Aug 27, 2014, 05:56 PM
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I didn't know what to say when you posted, and honestly still don't know, but I couldn't say nothing either.
Doesn't feel right at all... Know that I hear you, that I've been there, and that it does and will get better. Just keep holding on, life is overwhelming enough as it is, so take it one breath at a time, 1 baby step at a time, placing 1 foot infront of the other.... Please remember to be kind to yourself during this time, treat waiting4 as you would a dear friend.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| waiting4
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#11
Aug 30, 2014, 01:14 AM
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I appreciate everyone that posted. I'm better now...have come back and posted on some threads. It does help to try to help others or try to support.
Those who posted support here or offered hugs (particularly those who are uncomfortable offering hugs ever--you know who you are) Thank you.... I'm still wounded but I'm trying. It just gets so damn overwhelming sometimes .... Thank you all for understanding, and affirming why I need this site. When my T is unavailable....you are. It means a lot.
__________________
Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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#12
Aug 30, 2014, 01:20 AM
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((((( waiting4 )))))
If a small child was overwhelmed at the prospect of the first day at a new school, would you yell at them for not being composed, then yell at them some more for crying at being yelled at, OR would you sit them down, comfort them, and explain "well hon, look at it this way..."? What if you are the small child right now? |
| waiting4
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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