[XSleepingSiren21X]

(This is sort of a vent/release post)

Today was horrible. We had a birthday party for my great grandma and everything from the beginning of the day was terrible.

First my aunt comes and tries to talk to me, while I'm in the other room she gets onto my computer, without my permission and points out all the things that I'm looking at. I guess I forgot to close out of my Psych Central profile and proceeded to tell me that everything that I believe in as a 'mental illness', is all a lie and is of the 'devil'. She fills me with thoughts that everyone here is going to lie to me and make me think things that aren't true. Her and my mom started bashing about how it's wrong for me to believe in something like, anxiety, personality disorder, and other illnesses. She then demands me to tell her what sites I were on, then starts preaching to me about how it's 'against god' to be looking at the things I'm looking at. It was nothing bad, like provocative or scary. It was just my profile.

My aunt forced me to get my mom and the both of them started verbally and emotionally attacking me about the 'mistake' I've made. Kept criticizing and judging me, treated me like I'm not capable of 'understanding what I'm getting myself into.' Then acted like I was a 10 year old and need to know that I have to be careful of who I'm talking to online (like I didn't know that).

I felt so pushed around and I started to cry and they only told me,

"It's only the truth, you need to listen to us, we're wise, we know what kind of act of deception this is, we'll always know best"

Then my mom was like,

"The devil is the one who fills our heads with lies, believing we're 'mentally ill'"

I don't even know what to do or believe, I feel so stuck and I'm feeling like I'm about to go insane. I desperately want to be treated better, but there's no escape from my horrible mistreating and disrespectful family. All they care about is attack everyone and cramming their religious belief down everyone's throat and to 'live like god'. Their so shallow and closed minded, I don't think they're even capable of understanding and knowing the truth about me. They wonder why I'll never tell them what's wrong with me or understand I can never trust them, they'll just tell me how I should live.

I hate my life!

[Crazy Hitch]

All I can say is wow what were they thinking!

I'm totally on your side here. You need support and you've come to the right place because everyone here understands what it's like to have BPD.

Sorry to have to say but either your relatives are in denial, or else they are extremely uneducated on this condition or their "religion" has brainwashed them into saying things they are saying.

Listen carefully.

You've done nothing wrong!

Can I state how DARE they go snooping around on your computer, what an invasion of privacy, and I feel quite strongly about them snooping around your profile.

Based on what you've written, they're unlikely to change their views or their ways. So what to do next. Well clearly you're not going to be able to rely on support from them. Apart from psych central, because we all believe you, is there anyone else that can provide you with strategies if your relatives try to engage in the same kind of conversation again, like a psychologist or a therapist?

Personally when people speak nonsense in my ears I have a great way of tuning out their voice so I can't hear their voice but I can still look at them and smile (and think slyly you have nooooo idea what you're talking about) as opposed to having to entertain a conversation about this.

Sorry for your lack of support. Anyone would feel rightly down in your situation.

[XSleepingSiren21X]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

All I can say is wow what were they thinking!

I'm totally on your side here. You need support and you've come to the right place because everyone here understands what it's like to have BPD.

Sorry to have to say but either your relatives are in denial, or else they are extremely uneducated on this condition or their "religion" has brainwashed them into saying things they are saying.

Listen carefully.

You've done nothing wrong!

Can I state how DARE they go snooping around on your computer, what an invasion of privacy, and I feel quite strongly about them snooping around your profile.

Based on what you've written, they're unlikely to change their views or their ways. So what to do next. Well clearly you're not going to be able to rely on support from them. Apart from psych central, because we all believe you, is there anyone else that can provide you with strategies if your relatives try to engage in the same kind of conversation again, like a psychologist or a therapist?

Personally when people speak nonsense in my ears I have a great way of tuning out their voice so I can't hear their voice but I can still look at them and smile (and think slyly you have nooooo idea what you're talking about) as opposed to having to entertain a conversation about this.

Sorry for your lack of support. Anyone would feel rightly down in your situation.

Thanks, this whole day's been triggering for me and I've been stressed out on how to take care of the whole situation.

Originally Posted by Hooligan

Apart from psych central, because we all believe you, is there anyone else that can provide you with strategies if your relatives try to engage in the same kind of conversation again, like a psychologist or a therapist?

I've been to a therapist before, but my family wasn't happy about it and when they found out I was having major depression issues, my mother completely shunned me away with the whole problem. She turned her back on me, as to say, and refuses to help me with my complications. She's gone as far as to blame me for my own mental illnesses.

After so many months, my family stopped supporting me to going in for a therapist check up and even threatened me to stop all together. Now she promises me that we could all go again, just to fill me with hope that we all can work out the problems with our dysfunctional family, but it's only something she lies about so we can stop with the 'games'.

My family always persists on thinking everyone except themselves are the blame, just so they don't seem like the topic or center of attention when it comes to conversation.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by XSleepingSiren21X

Thanks, this whole day's been triggering for me and I've been stressed out on how to take care of the whole situation.


I've been to a therapist before, but my family wasn't happy about it and when they found out I was having major depression issues, my mother completely shunned me away with the whole problem. She turned her back on me, as to say, and refuses to help me with my complications. She's gone as far as to blame me for my own mental illnesses.

After so many months, my family stopped supporting me to going in for a therapist check up and even threatened me to stop all together. Now she promises me that we could all go again, just to fill me with hope that we all can work out the problems with our dysfunctional family, but it's only something she lies about so we can stop with the 'games'.

My family always persists on thinking everyone except themselves are the blame, just so they don't seem like the topic or center of attention when it comes to conversation.

You're in a toxic situation surrounded by denial and lack of support from those closest to you when you need it most. Sorry to hear that this seems to be pretty much an ongoing issue for you. Take care of yourself and try do things that might bring you a bit of pleasure admist all the turmoil going on around you.

Originally Posted by XSleepingSiren21X

(This is sort of a vent/release post)

Today was horrible. We had a birthday party for my great grandma and everything from the beginning of the day was terrible.

First my aunt comes and tries to talk to me, while I'm in the other room she gets onto my computer, without my permission and points out all the things that I'm looking at. I guess I forgot to close out of my Psych Central profile and proceeded to tell me that everything that I believe in as a 'mental illness', is all a lie and is of the 'devil'. She fills me with thoughts that everyone here is going to lie to me and make me think things that aren't true. Her and my mom started bashing about how it's wrong for me to believe in something like, anxiety, personality disorder, and other illnesses. She then demands me to tell her what sites I were on, then starts preaching to me about how it's 'against god' to be looking at the things I'm looking at. It was nothing bad, like provocative or scary. It was just my profile.

My aunt forced me to get my mom and the both of them started verbally and emotionally attacking me about the 'mistake' I've made. Kept criticizing and judging me, treated me like I'm not capable of 'understanding what I'm getting myself into.' Then acted like I was a 10 year old and need to know that I have to be careful of who I'm talking to online (like I didn't know that).

I felt so pushed around and I started to cry and they only told me,

"It's only the truth, you need to listen to us, we're wise, we know what kind of act of deception this is, we'll always know best"

Then my mom was like,

"The devil is the one who fills our heads with lies, believing we're 'mentally ill'"

I don't even know what to do or believe, I feel so stuck and I'm feeling like I'm about to go insane. I desperately want to be treated better, but there's no escape from my horrible mistreating and disrespectful family. All they care about is attack everyone and cramming their religious belief down everyone's throat and to 'live like god'. Their so shallow and closed minded, I don't think they're even capable of understanding and knowing the truth about me. They wonder why I'll never tell them what's wrong with me or understand I can never trust them, they'll just tell me how I should live.

I hate my life!

Just my opinion, but it sounds like your aunt and mother are the ones in need of some therapy. I would stay far away from them, they seem to be giving you very bad advice.

[Pierro]

Oh it always makes me feel terrible when I hear a person who's reaching out for help and there is no support at home. That must be very difficult for you to deal with. I think its very sad that your mom and aunt think that being mentally ill is evil. But, there are a lot of people out there for some reason think that there is no such thing as mentally ill. I hope that you dont leave PC because of their comments. There are many people here that give you sound advice. Best wishes. I do hope that you have someone to talk too..

[HD7970GHZ]

Hey SleepingSiren,

I am very saddened that you are going through this. That is a very triggering situation and I completely understand where you are coming from.

On a side note: I am very proud of you for recognizing these things in your family members. I think you have come a long ways in accepting your illness and recognizing the things in your life and in your environment - that effects you.

I must admit that you already know - very clearly - what it is that is happening and why. You said it in your first post on this thread:

"I desperately want to be treated better, but there's no escape from my horrible mistreating and disrespectful family. All they care about is attack everyone and cramming their religious belief down everyone's throat and to 'live like god'. Their so shallow and closed minded, I don't think they're even capable of understanding and knowing the truth about me. They wonder why I'll never tell them what's wrong with me or understand I can never trust them, they'll just tell me how I should live."

...As painful as it is to realize - perhaps the best choice, [for yourself] is to set boundaries with your family members - and continue to seek support from other aspects of life - that are not so unstable. Accepting that your Mother and Aunt may never come to understand you, nor give you the support that you most definitely deserve - is a very challenging notion to swallow. But I can tell you right now - from what you have shared on this thread - it is the best option [for you]. The important thing to remember - is if you do decide to set boundaries and ultimately accept that your family is not worth your continued suffering - in trying to help them to understand - you do need to find supports elsewhere.

No one should go it alone in this world.

For years I have tried to earn the acceptance from my family that I deserve - only to cause further hurts and more dysregulation than before. I've been doing this for over a decade. Every time I try - it makes matters worse. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am accused of starting fights when my entire intent for arguing in the first place: is to allow for conflict resolution and equality for me in the dysfunctional dynamic that is my family. Knowing this - and accepting the probability of it continuing on - I must learn to accept that my family will never come to understand. It is so very painful to accept because of my Borderline and my fears of abandonment. Ironically - what could arguably, be the best thing for me: could also be the worst thing for me. The pain of not having your family there for you in the way they ought to be - the way the bible says they should be - is just far to painful to accept. But it is necessary. The important thing to remember - is in accepting that your family will never fulfill your requirements - it does not mean they cannot have a role in your life. It would be easy to rationalize they shouldn't have a part to play in our life at all if they never come to understand us - but that is black and white thinking - and it only leads to more pain further down the road.

It sounds to me like your Mother and your Aunt have based their entire lives upon a foundation of religion and narrow minded explanations. I am not attacking religion nor am I making fun of it, nor taking way from the genuine effectiveness it can have in some peoples lives. But you do not have to accept their disgusting ways of thinking.

Anyone who uses religion to diminish other peoples genuine feelings and hurts - is no true believer. They clearly have gained a LACK OF EMPATHY for others - from believing in this God of theirs. But this God of theirs - is not the real God - because the real God would show nothing but empathy. I can tell you that right here and now. They've twisted their religion into what best suits their own selfishness. That is a fact. And that is in no way shape or form - any different from any other radical form of religion.

While your Mother and Aunt do have a narrow minded way of thinking - just know that they probably do want what's best for you. It is very easy to misinterpret their lack of empathy and tendency to misinterpret, invalidate and missunderstand you as a form of: "I don't care." But really, [and this is just what I think from what you've shared] I bet your Mother and Aunt are so religious and narrow minded - that it is the only way to understand something they cannot possibly understand. Because they themselves, are firm believers in this twisted God of theirs - there's no reason why they would NOT try to convert you into a similar way of thinking. Ultimately - the point is - regardless if they are a believer in God or in Mental Illness for explaining how and why you are the way you are - they DO - want what's best for you. Otherwise - they wouldn't even try.

I hope that makes sense.

All I know is - there is the possibility in my own life for my own family to come to understand and accept me for who I am - along with all the negatives and positives that it entails. But it is not something I can just change. It takes time, patience, and most definitely a lot of pain and suffering for us.

Oh - I also have a fairly radical religious part of my family - and I was once labelled as being, "possessed." That really was a stab in the chest coming from my mother and brother... It hurt really bad at the time - but 15 years later - I just don't care. I know that anyone who says something like that to a suffering individual, who simply needs a bit of love from his loved ones: is not to blame for how and what he is.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[ifst5]

I'm sorry but they sound dangerously uneducated - mental illness is a very real concern for millions of people the world over. And whether it be caused by the devil or not is surely besides the point - it requires treating in the same way that cancer or diabetes requires treating.

Are you meant to suffer for no reason? Sadly logic simply doesn't register with a lot of religious people, and so what starts as an expression of faith can become a very harmful and counter productive means of deluding oneself and oppressing others.

I would encourage you to leave these people far far behind. Seek out your own meaning and truth - just because we're biologically related to people doesn't mean we're obliged to have a relationship with them. In fact if you think about it, science dictates that we're all technically related to each other...so if you wouldn't place familial expectations on strangers you've no need to do so with people you're more closely related too. In short, seek out the kind of people you need in your life; those who can contribute to it positively.

No one knows what lies beyond - but far better to face that uncertainty knowing you led a happy and productive life then feel regret at having lived according to someone elses standards.

[XSleepingSiren21X]

Well see, with my family, I try to understand that they will not accept me for anything, but when it comes to avoiding them at all cost, so I'm not badgered down, I'm still being attacked no matter what. Even if I don't want their opinion or hide everything from them, I'm going to be confronted by them and forced to listen to them and everything they tell me. All it takes is to just be alone or by myself and I'm soon, verbally attacked.

I don't get the choice to want to hear what they say, I HAVE to. They won't leave me alone for a second, without laying out their two-cents. I'm demanded to hear their lecturing and preaching, I can be doing absolutely nothing, minding my own business and I'm still getting criticized for doing that.

There is literally no getting away from them, they call me, text me, and will find me no matter what, just to provoke me and break me down. I swear it's torture and at cases, I'm always left feeling cornered and put in place just because I stepped over the line to act out in order to better myself. They will try to find out EVERYTHING about me, if they find I said one thing that sounded like I was standing up for myself, they'll attack me like a hawk about 'what I said'.

They're the type of people that give me advice saying, "you need to step up for yourself" when they'll just come after me if I do just that or "don't let people take advantage of you" when they are the very people who take advantage of me, when they have me at my worst moments. They are so hypocritical.

I'm physically used, emotionally abused, mentally distorted, and spiritually damaged.