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#1
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I want to be a child again. I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I want to cry on someones shoulder for as long as I can - and just rest in that comforting - nurturing - feeling.
Anyone else want this? I don't want to get attached to another DBT therapist after what happened last time - but I know that I will. Regardless of how many boundaries I put up - I will inevitably fall in love with my therapist and re-enact my desires for a mother who is actually nurturing and loving. I miss my therapist even though she abandoned me... I am torn.
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"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
![]() Anonymous200145, FlowerChild67, Ruftin, serenity2298
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![]() FlowerChild67, serenity2298
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#2
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(((HD7970GHZ))) I can understand your need for comforting and nurturing.
I found myself at one point in my life as an adult ![]() My family is not the type to hug or say I love you. I feel your pain and understand. I hope your new T can help you work through these issues. Please feel free to PM me if you like. Be well. ![]()
__________________
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#3
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Quote:
I feel all the same desires. ![]() ![]() ![]() About getting attached to the therapist, would it be possible, in the future, for you to go into therapy on guard, knowing that you get attached easily ? In order to prevent getting hurt again ? |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#4
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I can understand how you feel. I am the same way. It's been hard at times and want someone else.
I'm sorry about your T. I hope things will get better. ![]()
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SkyxBlue ![]() "The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it. For to have faith is to have wings" ~Peter Pan ![]() |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#5
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I can understand these feelings. I am lucky that I get the comforting etc by my husband. When I was still single I bought a soft teddy bear to have something to cuddle with, that helped a bit.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#6
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oh geez.............the reflexive response to your post has me aching inside for what you describe. I've battled the desire to be a child again for many, many years. You are most definitely not alone.
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#7
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I feel like this aaaaallllll the time, and I'm glad to see someone else does too. I feel like a lot of my childhood was robbed from me and I just want to be able to be myself without the rules put on me as an adult by the outside world. I had kind of a break down today because I recently cut all my hair off and I want to dye it a funky color but knowing I need to get a job soon and all of that I can't really do that and I just got really upset that I didn't feel this way in high school. Like instead of thinking like I do now where I'm like "I'm gonna cut my hair and dye and purple and live and have fun!!!" I was like "I need to study hard, I wish I had more friends, but I don't like to go out and do things because I get anxiety so nobody wants to be my friend"
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#9
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Sometimes I feel like I am a child expected to live as an adult. I push everyone away to not get hurt yet I feel like the lonliest person ever. I don't think I would like to be a child again ( bad memories) I want to be a baby again! To get so many cluddles and to not be judged
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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#10
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I wish I knew how you feel. I spent my "childhood" in a local psych ward. So I'm trying to recreate it but I just keep getting sent back:/
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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#11
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I'd love to be a kid again. I grew up way to fast. Being and adult sucks.
__________________
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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#12
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I know the feeling about getting attached to your therapist, I have some attachment to my current that why I keep going back even know she does not really help. Have you thought about having a male therapist instead of a female, just a thought.
__________________
Samantha-Anne FlowerChild67 ![]() Diagnosis Psychological Borderline Personality Disorder / Schizoaffective Disorder-BiPolar Type / Dissociative Identity Disorder / Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder / ADHD / Asperger Syndrome / Medical Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis / Migraine Headaches / Bladder Issues / Fibromyalgia / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / Asthma / Insomnia / Medicines Psychological amphetamine, dextroamphetamine (Adderall) / bupropion HCL XL (Wellbutrin XL) / diazepam (Valium) / lamotrigine (Lamictal) / prazosin (Minipress) / artpiprazole (Abilify) / Medical baclofen (Lioresal) / diphenhydramine (Benadryl) / fluticasone (Flonase) / gabapentin (Neurontin) / metformin (Glucophage) / tamsulosin (Flomax) / zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) PRN / albuterol (Ventolin HFA) PRN / ondansetron (Zofram-ODT) PRN / oxycodone (Roxicodone) PRN / sumatriptan (Imitrex) PRN / Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Forest Gump (Tom Hanks) Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Chat Saturday evenings! Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective Disorder Support Chat Saturday evenings! link to the calendar http://forums.psychcentral.com/calen...y=2015-2-7&c=1 ![]() |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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#13
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Wow! I did not think so many of you would relate. Thank you so much for the replies.
I wanted to hug my therapist so bad recently and I almost did without warning her. I miss her sooo much. I regressed in her company and became a child before her eyes. I really wish I could have a girlfriend to hug! Anyone notice their voice changes to childlike tones sometimes? I only experience this occasionally but when I am with a specific friend - he almost takes on a father role and my voice becomes very childlike and he calls me by my name with a letter 'y' at the end. My family members do this too - as though I am a child... It's very strange. Anyone relate to this? I have heard that it can be a sign of complex PTSD and trauma, and of course BPD and regression. Flowerchild67, Yes - just recently I was told by a psychologist to work with a male therapist. Unfortunately the DBT program only has female therapists - so my transference issues with most definitely arise again. The problem is - I think I could get just as attached to a male therapist. I get attached to male friends, minus the sexual aspects. But the need to cling is there regardless of gender. Thanks, HD
__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
![]() Anonymous200145, FlowerChild67, Ruftin, serenity2298
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![]() FlowerChild67, serenity2298
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#15
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Yeah I feel myself wanting to be a child. I worried and looked out so much for my parents that I feel I missed out on really just being a kid and being worthy all love and safety . I feel myself looking for that all the time. And I'm really childish even at 30 . Feel like I'm behind ..
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#16
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I don't think that I want to be a child again, because I relate childhood with the sense of powerlessness I felt in my actual childhood. But sometimes I really ache to be able to curl up and have someone hold me. Nothing sexual or anything, I just want to be silent and be held. I was just thinking of this today--I know I can't sustain a relationship right now, but there is just such a huge space in my life where one should be. I want to give love to someone who reciprocates. So I get what you're saying...I just don't necessarily want to be a kid again.
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#17
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Part of me wants to be a toddler again so I can have those fun, adventurous dreams and get lost in my own little world, but at the same time though, I love living alone in my apartment. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't have many advantages being an adult compared to being a kid. I'm not interested in most adult things anyway.
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#18
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Thinking of you...
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__________________
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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#19
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Do you guys and gals crave physical contact?
I get a rush when I am hugged or touched by someone I love... I wish I got the same feeling from my mom but I don't want to get closer to her...
__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
![]() Anonymous200145, FlowerChild67
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#20
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I act like a little girl sometimes. I have two personalities, adult me and little girl me. whenever I had a partner I wanted to act like a little girl and be held and told im a good little girl.
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ, serenity2298
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ, serenity2298
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#21
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I'm going to wrap myself in a diaper tonight and regress.
__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
![]() Anonymous200145, FlowerChild67
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#23
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I was happiest when I was a little girl.
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() FlowerChild67, HD7970GHZ
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#24
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Mine abandoned me in a way - though I was the one to choose no more contact. He abandoned me in what I think is the worst way - he betrayed me - he did not act in my best interest - he was duplicitous, never telling me of his change in attitude or intentions which I believe meant to do me harm. No , I am not paranoid delusional which so many will automatically think of when it is someone with mental/emotional problems accusing a professional. People need to be straight about it, "professionals" are people too and must earn and deserve our trust. I have learned that is the best approach for me - my cynicism again - but it is safest to keep a certain distance at least initially until I have enough knowledge about the person to decide for myself it is wise/safe to trust them. Even then i could still be wrong. Though I will say I have grown to realize and recognize that "inner voice" within me who has very good instincts even if there are no words to describe exactly - for example, why I feel misgivings about someone's motivations. The few times i have ignored that voice, one in particular it was a major error on my part for which the price was quite high. |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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#25
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Yes I crave Physical and emotional contact very very much. I have not had either in 4 years.
__________________
Samantha-Anne FlowerChild67 ![]() Diagnosis Psychological Borderline Personality Disorder / Schizoaffective Disorder-BiPolar Type / Dissociative Identity Disorder / Complex-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder / ADHD / Asperger Syndrome / Medical Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis / Migraine Headaches / Bladder Issues / Fibromyalgia / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / Asthma / Insomnia / Medicines Psychological amphetamine, dextroamphetamine (Adderall) / bupropion HCL XL (Wellbutrin XL) / diazepam (Valium) / lamotrigine (Lamictal) / prazosin (Minipress) / artpiprazole (Abilify) / Medical baclofen (Lioresal) / diphenhydramine (Benadryl) / fluticasone (Flonase) / gabapentin (Neurontin) / metformin (Glucophage) / tamsulosin (Flomax) / zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) PRN / albuterol (Ventolin HFA) PRN / ondansetron (Zofram-ODT) PRN / oxycodone (Roxicodone) PRN / sumatriptan (Imitrex) PRN / Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Forest Gump (Tom Hanks) Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Chat Saturday evenings! Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective Disorder Support Chat Saturday evenings! link to the calendar http://forums.psychcentral.com/calen...y=2015-2-7&c=1 ![]() |
![]() HD7970GHZ
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![]() HD7970GHZ
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