[elevatedsoul]

what is this?

what do you do about it?

[HD7970GHZ]

Still trying to figure that out.

Sit with it. Find meaning in life. Purpose. Find what inspires you. Motivates you. Read about others misfortions due to war or mass cruelty. Listen to music or watch favorite movies. Cuddle teddy bears and wrap up in blankeys. Volunteer. Sleep on it. Go for a walk, paint or write about it....

Emptiness is hard. I find when I am in a positive relationship it seeps away but when I am alone it is stronger. Perhaps finding a community is a good idea.

Wish I could help. You are not alone.

Hd7970ghz

[newbpd]

You're right, find what inspires you. It may seem cliche but I like pretty things, nature mostly. So I find flowers, trees, sounds of breezes or water over rocks, stars, and it reminds me of the vast awesomeness of our planet and how lucky I am to be alive and aware to experience such incredible beauty. I know, I sound like the plastic bag guy from American Beauty, but its still true. Music is also a huge help for me. Not always the same music, but whatever stokes my mood, then I almost meditate with it and let it fill me up. If you like painting or running, cleaning or cooking, movies and shows, anything really. You are not alone. And you don't have to stay with this feeling. It gets better.

[Artchic528]

I just sit there and let the feeling pass. Maybe I color for a while, maybe I journal, it all depends on what I can muster the energy to do.

[elevatedsoul]

a deep loneliness...

i dunno what inspires me anymore... or what makes me happy (besides weed)
i dont have any friends, or relationships... my family triggers me constantly and i just try to hide from everything...

i dont have any income or anything, im drained, completely empty... fortuneless..
how unfortunate...

so very very depressing...

[HD7970GHZ]

Elevated Soul,

Do you have someone in your life that you trust? A Therapist?

I am in a similar state right now in my life. It is a horrible feeling... I must admit that I do not always "walk the talk," so as much as I like to think I know the answers to get healthy (and perhaps I do) I still suffer from complacency, willfulness and lack of motivation. I hope I can plant some seeds in your head, I am not judging you or belittling you by this post. I hope you can get some thing from it.

A therapist asked me recently, "What is stunting your growth more; laziness, or mental illness." I would like to think mental illness is the bigger problem. I am certainly depressed, have trauma, etc. I avoid things that scare me (which is most things right now). I stay in a comfortable state and for very valid reasons...

But I still have a choice. And I DON'T have to allow my negative emotions to dictate my behavior...

Neither do you...

The good news is you are self-aware enough to realize the hole that you're in. The emotions that you feel - the emptiness - it is there for a reason. Despite how painful emptiness is for you - you are blessed with the ability to identify the emotions you feel. That gives you an advantage for moving forward. Humans have a tendency to avoid emotions, especially for us Borderline sufferers; since we experience them to a heightened extent. But avoiding emotions leads us to suppress and dissociate and when that happens we get lost... It is like we don't even see what the problem is because we suppress it, it is too painful to admit to ourselves... Problem is: "We cannot fix a problem if we don't know what it is." That is why emotions are so vital to our lives. Emotions ought to be befriended. Emotions are not only feelings - they are cluttered with messages about the state of our lives...

Loneliness, emptiness, sadness, anxiety, fear, hopeless... (These are the emotions you feel, based on your post. Look up what these emotions mean.)

Perhaps you are empty because you need to fill your life with things that inspire you. If you don't know what those things are - do not fret - for that is a sign of change. That just means you get to go out and discover what those things are. Look at it as an adventure! You get to try new things and make mistakes and force yourself out of your comfort zone! How fun! Sometimes we think nothing inspires us anymore, when in reality - we simply have changed - and what once inspired us no longer does. It is up to us to look for those things.

We need to take responsibility for our lives and work at it. No one else will do the job for us, but ourselves. Moving forward and growing is a FULL-TIME job. It is the hardest job there is.

Baby steps.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[elevatedsoul]

I do have a therapist, next appointment is on the 3rd so I'm gonna try to remember to talk to her about these things... problem is I have a really bad memory and often forget...

I need to get out of my living situation right now more than anything so that I can do the things you mention, I'm not in a good place... triggers all around

I'm glad to be in therapy though... even though its challenging and seems to be really slow...

I just miss playing my video game.. haven't been able to play for several months now due to these symptoms...

[newbpd]

I've been there. For me it wasn't laziness. I truly wanted to do things but felt so awful I couldn't. I just started new medicine that is helping a lot. Are you on medicine? Would you like to try a different medicine? I'm not saying its the be all end all, I'm in therapy too, but for me the medicine made it possible for me to do all the other things that we said help like music, exercise, and cleaning. And those things seemed to help me that much more. This is the first time I've felt truly happy, without underlying anxiety or depression. If medicine is a no go, and your video game is what you miss, start there. Most times if I could get myself up to do one thing it gave me the motivation to keep doing things. If I got up and went for a walk afterward I could clean or do yoga. "make" yourself play your video game for a bit and you might feel better enough to do a variety of things.

[elevatedsoul]

I've tried lots of meds they don't seem to help... but I am currently taking abilify, Cymbalta, prazosin...

its definitely time to change the meds though because after many months of no progress I think its safe to say they aren't really the right meds... I just seem to be highly resistant to medication or something... it hurts

I guess atleast I'm not allergic and having lots of bad reactions... right fuzzy <3

I try to make myself play music and stuff since I'm supposed to be a musician... but its hard, I cant get into the mode/mood... I try to make myself play video games because I'm supposed to be a gamer, but same problem... I try to make myself read since I'm supposed to love reading and learning... I try to make myself communicate with others... try try try I try so hard and I just get no where

getting tired of trying... atleast I'm not self harming... but the reason I'm not doing that is the same reasons for the games, reading, music, ect ect... I just feel so empty and drained.. not identifying with much of anything and feeling no connections with anything... scared I'm going to go insane and flip out... don't wanna go back to the hospital because its too traumatizing...

this sucks... so bad..

find myself trying to sleep or pacing back and forth going out of my mind... looking hectically for distractions to keep myself from lozing my mind...

[elevatedsoul]

such fogg, so much fogg, me cant see

[FeelingOpaque]

I find smoking weed helps. Disclaimer: im high right now.

But more seriously, i find the emptiness overwhelming almost once or twice a day. It usually happens once i recognize that im ruminating and am realizing that my thoughts are causing another shift in my emotion- be it euphoric or depressed, sometimes these emotions change pretty f*cki*ng rapidly, so i try to stop it all and end up feeling completely empty to the point i cant concetrate on anything, and my mind is completely blank, no thoughta or emotion.

I like to write poetry, songs, draw, watch a depressing movie, or action, just something outside of me that i can concentrate on and can play with in my own head. I like playing with words and ideas, so writing and watching deep movies at least get my mind to a steadier place.

Like everyine said, it sounds cliche, but just finding something that you enjoy to do can help lift you out of the rut ao you can move on to something else- some people like trees and sh**t, some like masturbation- no judgements, but find something that will help and isnt harmful to yourself and others and stick with it, let it ease your mind.