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#1
Apr 23, 2015, 05:37 AM
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That is what the psychologist said at my first appointment. Sure I guess physically it does not pose any danger, 1 to 3 times a week won't cause any damage. So I can stop being upset about it and if it feels good then I can do it. However, it is my eating disorder thoughts that hurt me more:
Constantly checking myself in the mirror to see any bulding on my waist. Thinking I have nothing else to offer in talent, intellect, worthiness and if I look fat then I am nothing. Fretting over everything I eat. Feeling guilty for eating Hating my aging body. I rather be dead than flabby looking. Now I should know better but these thoughts seem to be so ingrained that I just can't stop them. All this coupled with my BPD & PTSD is making my exsistance miserable. I need some relief from myself soon.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
 Smurfette77
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#2
Apr 23, 2015, 06:53 PM
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Can you get a second opinion? Personally, I don't see how an eating disorder, even if it's not causing physical damage, could ever be 'no big deal'.
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Diagnosed with EDNOS and major depressive disorder |
 Imah, ShaggyChic_1201
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#3
Apr 27, 2015, 11:29 PM
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Get a new psychologist.
That is complete and utter bs. Even if you only purged once a month, it's STILL a disorder. |
| MoxieDoxie
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#4
May 13, 2015, 07:32 AM
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That's ridiculous! Purging is always risky, whatever the frequency.
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| MoxieDoxie
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#5
May 21, 2015, 09:31 PM
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i would definitely see someone else. any professional who is a REAL professional and works with someone with an eating disorder (who claims to be knowledgeable anyway about them) would know that it can kill a person even just once (rare, but it can happen).
when i purged, it was 'just' a few times a weeks. but even doing that, it caused severe reflux issues as well as an ulcer for which i had to take medication for. it took a long time for that all to resolve even after i stopped doing it. the fact that when you purge, the electrolytes immediately get imbalanced is terrifying. your heart is affected every single time you do it. i hope that you will see someone else and keep on top of this as best as you can because it can be very serious and life threatening. |
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#6
Jun 10, 2015, 12:27 AM
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Oh my god I reallly needed to read this tonight. May of just saved me a binge... **** I have to quit purging. Part of me knows it's bad and is willing... Other parts not so much
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| Anrea
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#7
Jul 16, 2015, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
I been experiencing a lot of burping (I suppose this is from acid reflux) for the past year. It came on suddenly and I was in "remission" from purging at the time so that is baffling. If I closely watch what I eat and/or avoid stress (it varies) I do not experience as much if at all. I am glad I read your post because you state your reflux issues eventually resolved even after you stopped purging. This is a real motivation for me to never purge again - the "curing" of the burping /reflux. |
| waggiedog
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| waggiedog
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#8
Jul 17, 2015, 12:51 AM
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Umm when it is so mild focusing in it can make it worse. Hence T not making a big deal. I don't think you should either - be pleased it is mild and thoughts could have more to do with your self worth than appearance
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| waggiedog
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#9
Jul 17, 2015, 02:36 AM
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PLEASE PLEASE do NOT anybody be under the 'safe' impression that your bulimia/binge starve/severe restricting or sometime anorexia is within a safe mode. Just because you're not participating in laxative or intentional vomiting seven days a week or month you are totally SAFE, you are NOT and as one of our learned friends stated, literally the first time you engage in this routine, you're already in a bad place, phyically and mentally, it's extremely addicting. I've also been over active in these dangerous coping methods for over 30 years, yes I've lived on proton pump inhibitors (reflux), still do because of permanent damage. Have had stomach/duodenal ulcer scares, pipes sent down my throat regularity and rectal pipe investigations. I've always told the truth about what I've done or its wasting consultants time. Now have a young hiatus hernia (she's a baby!) but the absolute WORST and sooooooo painful is my now external haemaroids protruding way out of my bottom (but), yes folk make jokes about them but I can assure you the pain at the end of the line where I am right now, is horrendous. Had to have emergency Dr yesterday cos of the pain, bleeding and couldn't even darn well walk!!!!!!! This could clear up quickly if I would just stop the laxative abuse. Well, I've learnt my lesson and had none last night, won't vomit either as I'm feeling soooo tired and vulnerable. So watch out girls and boys!!!!!!! Xxxxx
Pop |
| Anonymous200280, Anonymous50010, ShaggyChic_1201
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| Anrea, Imah
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#10
Jul 21, 2015, 09:37 PM
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(((((waggiedog)))))
I hope you can use other coping mechanisms at least until you have recovered a bit. Hearts and hugs to you |
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#11
Sep 19, 2015, 10:55 PM
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Your bulimia IS a big deal!
When I started to relapse, I had one episode a month...then it became twice a month, then once or twice a week...before I knew it I was in a mess I couldn't get out of. No one chooses to be bulimic- it's not a lifestyle choice, it's a problem with mental health and an act of desperation- no one likes being sick, no one wants to be unable to cope or eat "normally", no one invites this. If you are struggling, it is a big deal, it does matter and there is no 'mild' to bulimia no matter how frequent or infrequent, it can easily become worse and it's very difficult to live with. If you are able to stop and just don't want to, you are clearly unwell (wanting to be bulimic is not a happy way to want to live) but if as I suspect, you want to stop but can't, then there really is a problem and you need help, there is no hierarchy with mental health, it all matters. |
| Anonymous50010
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| Freefallphoenix
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#12
Sep 20, 2015, 04:01 AM
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Quote:
 I believe it's true - once you open the can of worms with bulimia, it can be hard to stop completely. It can always get worse and then totally out of hand depending on what stressors are there because it has opened a new pathway as a method for coping. Even doing it once is damaging to your self and your body, and that is a big deal. Each time you do it, no matter how frequent or infrequent, it makes that pathway stronger. It is a good thing if it is mild because you can get help early on and try to deal with what is triggering the behavior.  Try not to be so hard on yourself, and be kind to yourself instead. You are a big deal, you matter and you are important. You are a unique individual with many good qualities and abilities, even if you can't see that yet. Keep looking and don't give up until you find the beauty within. 
__________________
"When it's good, it's so good, when it's gone, it's gone." -Ben Harper DX: Bipolar Disorder, MDD-recurrent. Issues w/addiction, alcohol abuse, anxiety, PTSD, & self esteem. Bulimia & self-harm in remission |
| BlueGreenTabbyCat
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#13
Jan 04, 2016, 07:11 PM
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My thoughts are with all those posting here and thank you for sharing your stories so honestly. I used to abuse laxatives and vomit several times a day, every week for a number of years. With meds and therapy I managed to stop before having my first child. I managed to stop for many years until my youngest child was about 3, he's now 7. I find it much harder to purge now but I can't curb my binging so I still try. I hate doing it, my weight and am not happy with my body. I worry about this but have not been very concerned about the physical risks until just reading all these posts. I hadn't seriously considered the risks before. Sadly this discovery is not going to prevent a binge tonight, but I will try to hold on to this more next time. I do suffer with health problems as a result of years of abusing my body eg reflux issues as mentioned, ibs and tooth decay. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky that I haven't done more damage...
Hoping we can all take gentle care of ourselves, Phx |
| ShaggyChic_1201
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#14
Jan 04, 2016, 07:22 PM
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Quote:
"There is no hierarchy in Mental health". ...those few words really touched me. I struggle so much with the validity of my feelings and experience of the world. I've always felt guilt for 'the way I am', have never been 'good enough' or, perversely, 'sick enough'. Others pain always seems so much worse than my own and I feel guilty for even daring to think about or feel my own 'suffering'. And conversely, the more guilt I feel the more I suffer. A vicious cycle I wish I knew how to break... Phx |
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#15
Feb 07, 2016, 02:42 PM
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Quote:
The thing about bulimia is that it can cause sudden death no matter how many times or how often you purge. I knew a 17yo that had a heart attack in her sleep. Another who's esophagus ruptured and bleed out. It's like getting your throat sliced open. Maybe it won't stop me from purging but I fear these things all the time. It IS a big deal. I would see a diff pdoc/therapist because even I know how serious it is and if anyone undermined that then I would be quite put off! Just like how BP or any other MI is a big deal. My bf told me once that I could control my MI and that I make it out to be bigger than it is. I have a med list I depend on to handle each day and that is serious to me. I almost dumped his *** right in the spot! Trileptal 600mg BID Buspar 45mg Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep Ativan 1mg PRN Vyvanse 70mg Risperdal 4-6mg PRN I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app! |
| ShaggyChic_1201
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| ShaggyChic_1201
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#16
Feb 11, 2016, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
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#17
Jun 09, 2016, 02:00 AM
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I agree with the posts above. Get a new therapists it's the thoughts that matter anyway...everything is just a behaviour related to the actual problem. I hope you can feel some peace and relief soon! x
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