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#76
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It is quite difficult to post according to "truth"... while I believe in One Truth, there is a philosophy that each of us has her/his own truth. To try and tell someone truth just won't work... we don't know where they are, under what truth they are operating. Odds are a post of "truth" would be of the poster's truth and it may or not be accurate.
![]() One thing we learn, as ygrec knows, in training as counselors/psychologists, is that even if we know KNOW what the client needs does not mean they are ready to hear it. And, just telling someone what might be the truth, the desired end goal, doesn't mean they then know how to get there. I liken PC to much like peer-counseling. Even though few here have had certified education regarding the "how to" of counseling, we all seem to find the niches --the rights and wrongs-- of offering support to others, as noted by the very posting in this thread. ![]() Posting when it's all about "me" often doesn't work out. The post needs to be all about the OP, imo. However, as also correctly noted in this thread, the giving of support often does include the taking of same... thus the 'mutual support and information sharing ' as the guidelines state. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=3643 But each member is on a different part of the path. Some, I daresay, are not on the "right" path at all. Are we to withhold support to either group? Are we to shun someone who is at the beginning of their journey until they catch up (or grow up) to "our" standards? Is someone on a different path not given support, even though their disorder may never allow them to truly appreciate or use or understand that support? Of course not, and I think the majority of members here don't differentiate between such members. Being on a different part of the path doesn't mean some are better than others. Just like someone in 9th grade is not better than someone in 3rd grade. No, they are just on different sections of the same path. But there is a differentiation occurring. Some here have stated their reasons, some of those reasons being not enough time, energy, feeling inadequate to give an informative post that they'd like to, etc. I have to go back to the past, to bring us forward again I think. When PC first began there wasn't a big listing of categories of forums etc. It was all pretty much "General" support and sharing, and chat. (And if there were 8 of us in DocJohn's chat, that was a BIG full chat! ![]() ![]() ![]() We do decide, according to our abilities and needs, where we spend our time giving and receiving support. I think it takes nothing from the experience, myself. With that said, I find that each forum is establishing it's own philosophy of posting perhaps? Someone who normally posts only in one or two forums may find that their posts of support in another forum isn't accepted or quite understood regardless of how long the member has been at PC. ![]() IDK ![]() ![]()
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![]() Caretaker Leo, Ygrec23
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#77
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Oh (((((((hankster)))))) I know you have, I have noticed, you have been working hard at it, me too. And I feel very exposed when I post and if I think someone is not welcoming me I feel very hurt.
No, don't take this wrong, you post fine, dont be done. I can't tell you how many times I have felt that way. I almost felt that way in this thread, but I didn't let that happen. And to be honest, I can't even count how many times that has happened to me outside PC. A part of me is almost waiting for that to happen and I know it is a part of what I have. I have walked a line so many times hankster, really. I don't really talk about it that much here at PC but it is hard for me right now. But I am working at it and getting better. I am trying to remember the good things I did and how that got messed up. I have had some bad situations in my life where other people have really hurt me. It's hard to look at in therapy sometimes, it hurts. I haven't taught in a few years now, those animals were ruined, I was ruined. I am trying to get back there and I do have a "BAD TEDDY BEAR" but I remember that I used to have a good "GOOD ONE". And as JD puts it very effectively everyone is on a path some further ahead, some trying to catch up, different paces for each one, no one is better than another. No one is really expecting you to change or be different, you don't have to, I dont have to, I am just thinking right along with the others and learning, and like my phrase under my name, I am doing that "ONE DAY AT A TIME". ((((((HUGS HANKSTER)))))) Open Eyes |
#78
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Take care! ![]()
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Takeshi
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![]() Takeshi
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#79
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Takeshi
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![]() (JD), lizardlady, Open Eyes, Takeshi
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#80
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![]() From that mental health peer pdf article: Quote:
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![]() lizardlady, Ygrec23
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#81
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Thank you Ygrec23,
In one of my posts I was giving an example of using visuals in a post. The teddy bear is something that many people can picture in their mind and relate to. And I am often a very visual person, for many different reasons. For example missbelle is visual too as she presents different members with something visual on their board that is something pleasant to look at. Greylove does the same and I often like to visit her site when I feel a need for not only a visual but a comforting presence. And the Byzantine has changing visuals that I like to visit and contemplate over. And there are many different visuals here, the smileys allow people to give a message and present a visual to compliment that message. If I present a visual sometimes a person can find strength by taking that visual and putting it in their mind as they struggle to find comfort in a positive way. So, in my example a person can visualize themselves working on a "Good teddy bear" and even keeping to task with that. However, not everyone likes those, some people find them triggering. One soldier that I talk to doesn't like them and they trigger him so I don't put them in. But for me, in the beginning, those visuals really helped. I am glad I have had access to them to use myself. I have a bland homepage and I don't really like my avatar, but I really havent had time to learn how to do that yet. I often wish I could present my own cartoons like I do outside PC. Someday I will look into taking time to learn that, right now I just don't have time. So, that is another thing that can make a post special. Open Eyes |
![]() Ygrec23
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#82
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Ygrec, is this really that complicated?
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#83
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Takeshi
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#84
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One would think not just reading the material quoted in your post. But think seriously about putting it into practice. I wonder whether many people would have the time, energy or taste for the kind of very hard and sustained work necessary to actually live by these values in groups dedicated to the same. I think it would probably be like Brook Farm and other old American utopian community projects.
Not to mention the verbal and mental agility needed to support an extended exercise in inventing the new language that would be absolutely necessary. Read the Mead and MacNeil article linked in Byz's last post, the first article. Pay attention to the new language. I think it would be difficult for many people. All the principles are laudable. It's a wonderful idea. I just doubt that it could be put into practice without the creation of another elite running the show. A well-meaning elite, perhaps. But I'm against all elites. In the end they all go bad, whatever their original intentions. So, to answer your question. Yes, in my opinion, it really is that complicated! ![]()
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() (JD), Takeshi
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#85
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Open Eyes
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#86
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I'm a visual person as well, but not all people are... but I've found that those who are not, can become visual.
![]() Ok... as I posted that list, I thought it might add to this thread for discussion, since you brought it up.
Is this still complicated? ![]()
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![]() ECHOES, Open Eyes, sunrise, Ygrec23
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#87
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"skill development, Here at PC this is limited except in the area of social networking.
![]() I did this too. I went almost 4 years. And this is something that many do not really understand. Often people see some kind of intelligence and just assume SOME are the all knowing, I know, better person, who doesn't really need help or support. And may even punch at THESE PEOPLE. (I have experienced this a real lot outside PC) Just because someone may come across well educated or intelligent doesn't mean they too don't have issues that they struggle with. And the other thing I have noticed is that just because someone may not type well or present perfect wordage in a post or even a question, doesn't mean they are stupid either. For example, my daughter is a terrible typer and she has difficulty spelling because of her dislexia and her spelling is by memorizing, not sounding words out. But she is "EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT AND SUCCESSFUL AS A PERSON AND PROFESSIONAL". And is very good with people and directing them. So as someone put it in here I think (or in a post somewhere) "YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER". And that is the one thing I do appreciate about PC and that each person has thier own message board with an about me where someone can go and see their personal struggle. Because, though there are specific forums for specific issues, you can have someone post in the General or Other Mental Health issue to a topic or question and it is nice to know the personal struggle that comes with that topic or question. And the CHAT rooms are a flow of different people with different issues. And lets not forget there is a constant flow of an incoming "YOUNG GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS" that just don't know about what others consider "AN EASY 1,2 PROCESS" Very good Post JD |
![]() (JD)
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#88
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What aches me to no end is those that truly care for another because either I am in pain or that particular person may be in pain.
just as long as it is positive to some in my opinion. Crew
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![]() (JD), Open Eyes, Ygrec23, ZilchHour
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#89
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What is also hurtful is when posting to comfort someone, and getting ignored or being snapped at (YES that has happened) . I try to meet others "where they're at" but no everyone sees that as a positive thing. I try to help but the futility of that smacks me in the face. BUT this isn't about me, so again, I just wasted space.....
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![]() (JD)
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#90
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Well you have been here longer than me made over 2,000 posts, I am sure you have done others good, you are trying, not everyone is easy to help, you were there, you posted not all efforts to help others work inside PC and outside PC.
Have you been helped? I am sure there are those that appreciate you. Open Eyes |
#91
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![]() What I saw Mead and MacNeil doing was bringing a lot of experience to what they were telling us: such-and-such approach may sound like a good idea at first but here's what usually happens when you try it... If that's not the result you want, better take a different route or at least be prepared to change course partway through. I'd say the most important part of learning to do anything is to notice what happens as you do it. Without that, you may get pretty good at going through the right motions but you haven't really learned much. |
![]() Open Eyes
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#92
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I would be very interested to know about where and with what success such ideas have been used in reality. I think that our society, at least, is so saturated in ideas of authority and hierarchy that there would be many, many people (a very significant percentage, if not a majority) who just "wouldn't get it." And they do note expressly the particular problem of any such group with their ideas interfacing (in a hospital for example) with any traditional structures. I don't know. I doubt that in my lifetime I'll ever have the opportunity to join such a community. Take care! ![]()
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
#93
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Ten years ago or so I had very bad urinary tract problems that ultimately led to an operation. But before it got fixed, I was hauled many times by ambulance to the ER unable to urinate and with an overful bladder. I don't know if it's happened to you but this is an incredibly painful situation. One time, on a stretcher going into the ER, it hurt so badly I was indeed flailing about. And one of my arms hit one of the nurses trying to help me. She thought I'd actually, wilfully hit her, which of course I hadn't, but we weren't able to straighten that out until they'd put a catheter in me and things had calmed down. In a sense, that happens with people coming to PC, and we just shouldn't let our feelings get hurt because some of these miserable folks, overwhelmed by their misery, react in some hurtful way to our attempts to help. They don't really mean it, I think. Take care! ![]()
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Open Eyes
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#94
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A really, really impressive group of insights, Open Eyes! Take care. ![]()
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Open Eyes
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#95
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I think it's very important to realize that the paper is written for professionals regarding a type of therapy and how it may not work --as a professional trying to be a peer. The interactions and foundations are indeed applicable for true peers as we have here at PC. The caveats are for the professional side of this, showing that there can be a crossing of the line, confusion and lack of meeting goals.
![]() http://www.mentalhealthpeers.com/pdf...portUnique.pdf Peer Support: What Makes It Unique? Quote:
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![]() Open Eyes
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#96
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() Open Eyes
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#97
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Occasionally, it seems, crossing the "professional"-versus-"peer" lines has worked better than refusing to cross them. R.D. Laing (1927-1989) was a Scottish psychiatrist best known for his innovative approach to psychosis:
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![]() Open Eyes, Takeshi
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#98
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Wow Fooze, I hadn't seen that before, but it is exactly how I often feel. Often in my life people have said to me, "Why do you worry about others, why do you bother, you have to mind your own business and ignore them, their issues not yours"or even "That child is never going to learn" and that always surprised me. And then I see something like this that is basically one person who had a choice to either walk away and leave that young woman in the situation she was in or act on it.
I have to say that in my experience with horses I have picked certain horses that were overlooked by other people. I took the time to train them and work at them, inspite of people telling me not to waste my time. Those same people stood and watched a champion one day. And I did this with a wild, skinny, abused mustang and we worked on him and my daugher worked at training him (he was so scared he would almost sit down when we went to put a saddle on him) and we got him round and healthy and trained him and kept working at it and I wish I could show all of you how beautiful he came out. We took him to a fancy show and everyone thought he was a very expensive exotic horse imported from Europe. And I have presented others as well, a trainer told me that a horse I wanted to buy for my daughter was not the be all and end all, I bought him anyway, well the trainer sure ate those words the horse ended up being state and zone champion. My new therapist told me that if one can train a horse, one can be a therapist and I have to say there is some truth to that. Excellent post Foolze, Open Eyes |
![]() FooZe, Omers
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#99
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Peer support is basically like a mentor to someone who has or has had a similar situation, whether it be mental or physical, as you. I am a peer support specialist, one of a few in my area. I work with young people aged 16-25 and help them become able to live and possibly work in the community.
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C'est la vie |
![]() FooZe, Open Eyes
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#100
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Exactly. And Peer Support on a non-professional level so to speak, is a good thing. All the interactions listed in that article, to me, are fine between peers.
It's important for professional psychologists and counselors --who are not normally recognized as providing peer support -- do not cross the boundaries set for professional ethics. Those boundaries are there to protect the patient as much as the professional. I think that is what the article was also addressing. PC exists because of peer support. ![]()
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