[Fuzzybear]

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by Serzen

Excuse my ignorance, but why was her account suspended?

DocJohn explained it this way:

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Administrative actions are not up for discussion or review here, as per our community guidelines.

However, as with *all* administrative actions, the community support teams spends a good amount of time discussing the matter and all possible actions. What you see is usually the end result of such discussions when a consensus is reached.

All your actions in life have consequences. The fact that an account was merely suspended and not banned outright is a sign we are willing to forgive and move on, as we hope our fellow members will be able to as well.

DocJohn

Anna, I'm not that familiar with you, but I noticed that you placed much emphasis on the number of friends you have. Thus I'm going to take an educated guess that you don't have many (if any) friends in your life. Maybe you've been told that you weren't good enough, smart enough, funny enough, or pretty enough. You just don't "fit" in.

I applaud your courage to be who you really are, but I'm concerned that some people (with intent or not) are validating those negative beliefs. I refuse to do so.

It's your world
That you want to have a little pride in
Your world
And that's not a place you have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till you can say
I am what I am

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by FooZe

DocJohn posted about it here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/commu...ml#post4967337

That link really doesn't make anything clear about the suspension other than that it's not an outright ban. I'm rather confused as to how DocJohn explained it. Also, why is there talk allowed of a member who cannot defend themselves? I thought doing so was against the rules. Is it not? Why is it acceptable in this instance? What makes this case so special all of a sudden?

It makes me ill that we are talking about a member who cannot defend herself. Where is the justice in that?

Alas, the only answer I fear we are going to get is "We aren't allowed to discuss administrative issues publicly", which doesn't answer anything. It's basically, "No comment".

Okay, sorry, I'm letting my emotions boil over here. I can't help but be angered and confused because the rules are broken and the staff isn't giving answers as to why they aren't enforcing them like they usually do. I guess rule breaking bothers me. I know things aren't always black and white, I get that. I'm just angry that people are taking advantage of this situation to not only bully and belittle others, but further the amount of pain already caused. Why deepen the wounds when you can help heal? Isn't that what this site is SUPPOSED to be about?

Sorry, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and not help anyone anymore. Is that the answer?

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by kindness

Anna, I'm not that familiar with you, but I noticed that you placed much emphasis on the number of friends you have. Thus I'm going to take an educated guess that you don't have many (if any) friends in your life. Maybe you've been told that you weren't good enough, smart enough, funny enough, or pretty enough. You just don't "fit" in.

I applaud your courage to be who you really are, but I'm concerned that some people (with intent or not) are validating those negative beliefs. I refuse to do so.

It's your world
That you want to have a little pride in
Your world
And that's not a place you have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till you can say
I am what I am

I refuse to validate your negative beliefs as well Anna. I'd like to thank Kindness in pointing this out. We are here to offer support, as this is a support forum. Yet, I can't help but see the lack thereof from some people. I get that you all have your own things to deal with, mental illnesses, traumas, and toxic people you deal with on a regular basis, but is it really doing anyone a lick of good to let all that negativity overflow onto somebody else already dealing with their own set of things? We all have enough emotional baggage as it is, there is no need to add to it in any way.

Anna, you're beyond brave, and super courageous. Know that there are kind and decent people out there who aren't going to judge you for who you really are. I, for one, would like to know the real Anna someday, if possible. Your real self is far more intriguing than the self you put forth to us most recently. I truly want you to know that there are kind, loyal, and loving people here who only want you to feel safe and loved and respected. Don't let those who are being negative, and harsh, skew that knowledge. I will always be your loving and caring friend. Always.

[MISERABLE ME]

((Anna)) You will always be my friend hope you come back soon

[TheWell]

Hello everyone,
We have left this thread open as a place to discuss Anna's admission and apology. This is the place for respectful discussion of this issue. Any posts on this topic in other areas of the forums will be removed. We understand that people may be feeling angry, upset, or frustrated but we still expect the conversation to stay respectful. Different people will have different reactions. I suggest using "I feel" statements to discuss your feelings.
We cannot answer any specific questions about the consequences. Just be aware that the Community Support Team in disscusion with Doc John have taken appropriate action.
If you have questions you can PM a member of the Community Support Team just be aware that we will not discuss what action has been taken.
Thank you,
The Community Support Team

[BlueEyedMama]

Anna,

It takes a lot of courage to admit to what you did and I respect that. Do I feel hurt? Not really. I feel sad that you have felt the need to be someone you're not in order to fit in and have friends. I don't know the 'real' you but I know that you are worthy of happiness and friendship. I hope that you look into getting some help for self esteem and anything that may have happened in the past that causes you to want to remain child like. I'm not interested in interacting with Anna the child as I think the best place for that is therapy but when/if you return I would be open to getting to know Anna the adult and see if a friendship grows from it.

I wish you only the best as you move forward from here and thank you for coming forward about what you did.

[-jimi-]

The real thing rarely gets a lot of attention. Someone asked what us real autistic people feel. Well, I have Asperger's. This is what I feel. When I'm not in an outgoing mood, when I am serious and need company, there is rarely anyone there. Because I am quite horrible, being an aspie can sometimes make you uncomfortable being around, "we" tend not to be very cuddly, "we" can be quite abrasive without meaning it. Saying the wrong things and whatnot. Speaking too little. Speaking too much. I'm quite used to getting negative attitudes, like even if I supported someone who felt bad for hours on end, no one does it back to me. That is always how my life has been. I'm simply not likeable. I'm not saying all aspies are like this, but quite many are. People read in all kinds of crap in what we say that we REALLY did not say.

I know I joked when Anna got a lot of attention that "I'm autistic too, can I have some attention?" At that time it felt like a joke. But thinking of being met with silence I really wonder now.

Just a few words from a true high functioning autism viewpoint.

[phoenix7]

I do understand making up your own reality - I do understand living in it and creating a person - and I do think you are brave to admit what happened

This is a mental illness like any other here - anger and hurt is bound to be felt - in time maybe they will come around - if they don't you will have to accept that - although that will be hard

you have started on anew path and I wish you luck and happiness on that path

P7

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I know I joked when Anna got a lot of attention that "I'm autistic too, can I have some attention?" At that time it felt like a joke. But thinking of being met with silence I really wonder now.

Just a few words from a true high functioning autism viewpoint.

Can very much relate to this.

While I was going through the whole mess of hospital admissions and being diagnosed with Autism, I did become put off coming into chat in the end... I blamed it on my inability to articulate myself well, but looking for support was also often met with silence.

Took it on the chin as best I could... and tried to be understanding that 'certain' people were in more need.

Anna, i will not judge you. I forgive you and i still consider you my friend. Hugs and prayers my friend. Blessings and tc

My interactions with Anna were very limited, both because my suspicions were strong enough that I did not want to, and because we were in different areas of PC, for the most part.

Her actions and admission are their own mental health issue and so she has the right to be here just as any of us do.

I also feel that members of the community who need closure should be given the chance to have it and they are not.

I feel absolutely horrible for all of those who have been hurt by this.

[-jimi-]

The problem is there is always more than one. Only if they take it too far they get outed for what they are. I have an unnaturally long memory so it happened more than once that people changed their story and I know either they weren't truthful before or they are not now. No one else seems to remember. It is a fact of life some people will be dishonest, but I still have a really hard time with it.

I've been in different communities for a long time and there is no end to what people make up... You think I should be used to it now? Nope. Am not.

If anyone else who is not honest reads this, please analyze why you need to present lies to others... please try to deal with this, chances are you WILL be accepted without lies. But it is very unusual people are forgiven for lying... so why risk it. Anna is lucky here.

[Serzen]

Well I have to ask for apologies because I just did what I should have done before posting: I took the time to read all in detail (I'm pretty busy during the week).

I'll make this quick, hoping that you still read the responses, Anna:

Just move on. Start again and this time be honest with yourself. I agree that you need to get help, don't be scared. Everyone makes mistakes and you're a fool not if you make them, but if you don't learn from them.

And thanks for the life lesson: there's always much more than meets the eye!

I hope we can finally have a normal and adult conversation when you come back. I'm looking forward to that because you're very interesting, but not as the fake Anna, as the real one.

Take care.

[Patoman04]

Wow...

I'm not sure what to say about this anymore. I dedicated good time to Anna giving her my undivided attention so she felt loved and cared for. As someone with moderate autism, this was extremely offensive to me and I'll explain why.

When I go out and have to communicate with people, it is a massive chore to make sure I'm following what I was taught thru years of therapy and say the right things. It took me a ton of speech therapy and practice to get to where I am today, and I worked hard at it. At this point, I've even gotten my Dx upgraded to HFA by my pdoc and GP. That took a ton out of me. Now when I go out and communicate with people, they enjoy being around me because I can elocute properly and keep a conversation going past "hello." Nowadays, when people find out about my autism, they tell me things like "wow! You are like the least autistic person I've ever met!" It feels bittersweet to hear that because I like that I'm able to communicate well, but on the other side it shows that these people have no idea how much I've had to work to get here. Overall though, it makes me pretty happy to identify with neurotypicals.

All that being said, what Anna did is exactly what gives people the reason to doubt my own struggles. All of those who were hurt by what she did and are saying she doesn't have autism (which I will not confirm or deny as I do not have the evidence to judge) have a reason to doubt me as well. It completely undermines those who have put in the effort to work towards a better life and beat their disorder. I do not put much emphasis on my autism much. For the most part I make jokes about myself and laugh it off as no big deal, and that's because it ISN'T a big deal as long as I work thru it and realize that it cannot stop me from being someone special and amazing in this life. Personally, I believe the vast majority of MI CAN be looked at that way. Only the truly severe cases are the ones that need to be looked upon with significance.

I understand that Anna's lying and deceit are most likely a MI of their own, but at what point do you realize that her MI is not above anyone else's? I read some of these posts about how people shouldn't blame her because it is a MI and the fact is, she took advantage of others' MI. Why should she get more empathy and support than those who were honest in the first place? Anna has a right to get help and not be made fun of over this debacle, but those who were genuinely hurt have every bit as much of a right to voice their anger/frustration towards her in a respectful way. Neither side should be undermined.

All this being said, I do not hold a grudge towards Anna and I completely forgive her. I understand that she is struggling immensely, and I would not want to be in her position because of it. However, Anna needs to humble herself over this and most importantly forgive herself. That is the hardest part of it all. Self forgiveness, as most of you should know, is the hardest type of forgiveness. I can occasionally still struggle with it from things I did when I was 8 years old.

To Anna:
Honey, I'm really sorry for your past. I'm really sorry you don't have friends and that it drove you to madness to the point where you felt you had to make up a new character just to get the attention you needed. I ask that you get serious help. Therapy works wonders for healing people like you. Don't do anything further that you will regret. Get a documented Dx before speaking about your autism, because you never know what the doc might say. Learn from this as well. You are still young and mistakes this bad happen to almost everyone. You still have a future to live for. Don't let it be dictated by your past. You can still do wondrous things with your life, because as I am living proof, Autism (even moderate autism) isn't something that has to stop you from achieving greatness. Work through this and look for the forgiveness of those who are still hurt by this. You can do it girly, anything is possible for an autistic! We are a bright and special type of people!

xo
Patoman04

[lizardlady]

Excellent post Patoman04!

[Chyialee]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Excellent post Patoman04!

Yes, Patoman. Beautifully expressed.

Thank you.

Chyia

[connect.the.stars]

Hi Anna,

Just wanted to let you know that I have had a similar experience and I understand how painful it is to be trapped in between what is perceived as "real" or "fake." I am sorry you are going through this. I know how much it hurts not being able to go backwards in time to undo it all. I will be here to listen and will gladly share my thoughts with you upon your return. Please take good care.

connect.the.donuts

[lizardlady]

I have avoided posting in this thread because I had very limited interactions with you Anna. I thought that meant I didn't have anything to contribute. I've decided that maybe I do have something to contribute because I don't have any personal involvement.

I am not on the spectrum, however I am integrated from having DID. Can't count the number of times I've run across people on line who claimed to have alters, who were lying. It angered me no end. Realistically or not I felt it took something away from me, diminished what happened to me and what it took for me to recover. I felt like they were seeking attention by "faking." I was not able to understand that their attention seeking was, possibly, a cry for help. So I understand why people are angry about Anna claiming to be autistic.

At the same time I have to admire Anna for having the courage to "fess up" to what she did. Is there a way that we can acknowledge and accept the anger and pain of those who were hurt by this without slamming Anna? I'm in absolutely no way saying what Anna did was okay. It was not. Can members find a way to heal and move forward from this?

I am speechless ...

[BeaFlower]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I have avoided posting in this thread because I had very limited interactions with you Anna. I thought that meant I didn't have anything to contribute. I've decided that maybe I do have something to contribute because I don't have any personal involvement.

I am not on the spectrum, however I am integrated from having DID. Can't count the number of times I've run across people on line who claimed to have alters, who were lying. It angered me no end. Realistically or not I felt it took something away from me, diminished what happened to me and what it took for me to recover. I felt like they were seeking attention by "faking." I was not able to understand that their attention seeking was, possibly, a cry for help. So I understand why people are angry about Anna claiming to be autistic.

At the same time I have to admire Anna for having the courage to "fess up" to what she did. Is there a way that we can acknowledge and accept the anger and pain of those who were hurt by this without slamming Anna? I'm in absolutely no way saying what Anna did was okay. It was not. Can members find a way to heal and move forward from this?

[seesaw]

Okay, I found out about this whole thing rather late in the process. As number 9 =) I have a few things to say, if not just for myself to say them. My honest reaction was, oh, huh, that's interesting. But not real surprise or anger.

Why does it not upset me all that much? I feel I was pretty close with Anna and tried to be especially sensitive to her and help her understand things...so why do I not feel betrayed? Well, a couple of things...one, I learned a long time ago that people lie on the internet. All the time. There's no such thing as having a best friend you only know online. Because honestly, they're not real. I've met some PCers in real life, and they are the only PC people that I would say I truly know, because I've been to their house and hung out with them and know who they really are. So being lied to doesn't surprise me, and it doesn't upset me. I can't be healthy myself and invest myself emotionally in some online persona's problems. I try to help sure, but I'm not going to emotionally invest myself in the outcome, especially when I have no control over it.

So Anna lied. Everyone on here lies about stuff. I think she needs help. i think she needs to be on PC and get help from us, encouraging her to be herself and from a therapist to help her understand why she feels the need to be a child always. I think admitting to us, the public, the way she feels and the problems she has was a very brave thing to do, and a step in the right direction for her achieving some kind of fulfilling life, not one where she's always afraid.

Yeah, I'm pissed she impersonated an autistic person. It's offensive. But so are 90% of what I see going on in the chat rooms half the time anyways. I can forgive though, especially if a person actually wants forgiveness.

Anna, I'm glad you feel strong enough to step out of that shell and be the real you. I say this as your #9 and #9 always, get some therapy to help you with these issues. And come back here and talk with us about your issues so we can help you. The real you.

Seesaw and Astro

I think it is something that is offensive to me because my son is Asperger's. And I stick up for him and advocate for him all the time.

Just how I stick up for bipolars. Does it make me mad when people fake a bipolar diagnosis? If they talked in a backward non-sensical way trying to act like they are psychotic. Yes it would.

WHY? I don't think either of these conditions should be made fun of. They are real and they are challenging and they should be accepted as such.

And- i own my anger and don't need anyone to ask me to forgive. I will do so on my own timeline.

[The MadHatter]

Anna,I took a few says after reading this to let out sink in and process and while I'm hurt by it and do feel deceived, I'm a forgiving person. I told you on Skype how I felt so I won't put it out here. But as your number 3 I'll support you as you learn from this, ill be there as you heal from this and I look forward to the many conversation in our future. Please don't let the lapse of good judgement shown by your actions define who you will be in the future. We all make mistakes. It was said best in The Lion King. We all have issues from the past. But you can either run from them or learn from them.