Yet I still see mature topics(not in an appropriate manner such as pertaining to one's mental health)being discussed on a daily basis in the Adult room and sometimes even in the Coffeehouse. I haven't seen this rule being enforced and if it is no one is listening.

Just a suggestion...maybe the adult room should be done away with completely? Doesn't it's existence imply that these discussions are allowed? I'm sure if someone needed to talk about sex as it relates to their illness and relationship issues, Emotional Support would be appropriate for that.

Again, this is just what I observed and I would like clarification on the guideline.

[Artchic528]

I don't go into chat anymore because whenever sex talk happens and I point out that it's against the rules, the room jumps on me and calls me a stick in the mud. Maybe I am, but it still hurts when things happen this way.

I asked about this a few years ago before the rule was put into place,

But as a suggestion, maybe instead of a "welcome" message, we could have just a warning about sex talk not being allowed so people (especially those that are new and may not know the rules that well) can see and be aware that sex talk isnt allowed?

[amandalouise]

my understanding is yes sex talk is banned ....unless two members decide they want to go into a private chat room with no one else and both members agree and understand it is consensual on both members in the private chat....

here is a link that goes into detail about the sex talk in chat rules...

https://forums.psychcentral.com/chat...hat-rooms.html

Originally Posted by amandalouise

my understanding is yes sex talk is banned ....unless two members decide they want to go into a private chat room with no one else and both members agree and understand it is consensual on both members in the private chat....

here is a link that goes into detail about the sex talk in chat rules...

https://forums.psychcentral.com/chat...hat-rooms.html

So now my question is...why isn't this being enforced? I've seen it go on and on right in front of a moderator...

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by iPhone

So now my question is...why isn't this being enforced? I've seen it go on and on right in front of a moderator...

question... do you mean a chat leader (person in charge of the chat taking place) or do you mean a moderator/ administrator (the names in different colors then other members example Sabby, Doc John, fooze, blukoi, have their names in different colors then other members because they are moderators all the moderators names are in a different color than the rest)

its my understanding that anyone can be a chat leader, they do not have to be of modrating/ administrative staff members (the ones in different colors)

my understanding is rule infractions are dealt with by the moderators and administrators (the ones in different colors) and they cant do any thing to enforce chat rules if no one is reporting there is a problem. kind of like if you do something wrong no one can do anything about it unless they see it happening and report you for that problem.

suggestion next time it happens and its not a one on one chat between two consenting adults in a private chat room to report the problem to a moderator who's name is in different colors.

[ThunderGoddess]

I think it's hard to moderate the chat regularly but I also do not like sex talk in chat so I'm all for something being done like maybe a specific room that it is allowed? Although I was under the impression that's what the adult/mature room was for, now I'm guessing it's not. I have seen sex talk in coffeehouse and emotional support though.

[Artchic528]

Eh, it's my understanding that sex talk isn't allowed in any of the rooms, regardless of the title the room has. The adult room is only for PG-13 rated chat at the most, and only very sparingly.

However, when that was first being enforced, folks still made password protected rooms where they could talk as R rated as possible without the staff being any the wiser. Or at least that was what I was told.

So, whichever way you throw the dice, folks will look for whatever way possible to have an R rated sex talk via the chat service. Now, I can understand having more of that sort of mindset while in a mania, but I don't feel it should have any sort of place on this site. If folks want to have that sort of content in their chat, they can go elsewhere, as they're are many other places online that will cater to that sort of whim.

I hate to say it, but if people are constantly abusing some part of the site, regardless of how many rules and guidelines are being put forth, and it's hard to even enforce those rules and guidelines in that area in the first place, then why have that part of the site anymore?

It doesn't seem very productive or conducive to the site's mission or make the site look good of there is a weak part of it that users constantly exploit. I understand that if the weakest part of the site is done away with, folks will find the next weakest part to exploit, and constantly downsizing the site's features isn't an option (not to mention a very limited option as there can only be so many features removed before the site can't function anymore), so what is the answer?

[DocJohn]

Thanks for the feedback. Since the sex talk in chat rooms guideline was linked to already in this thread, I think that answers the OP's question.

As usual, if you have an issue to report about a possible violation of our community guidelines, please contact a moderator or administrator. For chat room issues, please include the room name, date and time of the issue you're reporting, and we'll look into it.

The adult room is for conversation that is neither emotional or health support, and may be more weighty or adult-oriented than appropriate for the Coffeehouse. We will take into consideration the suggestion it has outlived its purpose.

Thank you!

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

I asked about this a few years ago before the rule was put into place,

But as a suggestion, maybe instead of a "welcome" message, we could have just a warning about sex talk not being allowed so people (especially those that are new and may not know the rules that well) can see and be aware that sex talk isnt allowed?

This! It has to be obvious to everyone who uses the chat rooms. The rules not respected, I think something more than 'please contact a moderator' is needed to solve this ongoing problem. It is a live(!) chat, the offender will offend other members without forewarnings and people will get hurt emotionally, it seems unfair for the rule abiding users who need to act like a patrolling police officers. Not everyone's smart enough to use the internet, we've known this for a long time that people tend to get this internet persona for some reasons, instructing chat users to act like they do in real life is not enough or practical solutions.

The adult room is for conversation that is neither emotional or health support, and may be more weighty or adult-oriented than appropriate for the Coffeehouse. We will take into consideration the suggestion it has outlived its purpose.

Thanks for considering the change. I believe most users are of an adult age, so chat users are not kids any more, and we have this rooms, secret rooms on the internet, where people use passwords and all these private devices to access the online chat rooms, and they go w00t!! Politicians send half-naked photos to their mistresses and these things are known facts, the common ideas, the common sense of people are already at the lowest standard, so to break the cycle of continuing cultural deterioration, something innovative has to happen.

We've all known the SafeSearch feature of Google, it's been around for quite some time, China gave a thums-up to the Google's porn filter, so if one wants to seriously protect the interest of a great culture, it can be done decisively.

Chat rooms, I don't frequent there. All the adult members converge at PC chat rooms. ADULT! Kids are happy with their toys, when that becomes an adult version, it becomes R rated. A couch is a couch, it could be used in a therapist office, or certain someone knows what happened on a couch of someone, once it's tainted with the idea of what goes on there, there's no going back. So the point is, even if admin side thinks all the chat rooms are to be used for what specified in the chat guidelines, all the chat rooms become an adult chat rooms to some extent, just like a drug fiend finding a room somewhere to shoot up his choice of drug.

People throw away non-biodegradable trash anywhere they please, and sometimes we need to put up a big sign to let the visitor/user know that it is not okay. And I believe this has an additional benefit to it. I've seen/read that some people seems to be working in a voluntary capacity to keep the predators away from chat rooms, self-appointed neighborhood watch type, we don't need another George Zimmerman on this planet, please consider about visible sign throughout the whole chat room, even if it's for temporarily measure.

[DocJohn]

We have many teen members of the community, and the adult/teen rooms were created to give each their own space. This probably had more meaning when sex talk was more prevalent in chat.

Again, we can't be everywhere all the time. We have a small group of volunteer moderators who help out in the community. We rely on our members to help us in our efforts to keep the community a safe and supportive environment. You don't have to help out, but we of course appreciate it when members step up and report inappropriate behavior that violates our community guidelines.

And to be clear, we regularly take sanctions against community members who violate the guidelines while in chat. As with all administrative actions, these things are not announced or broadcast to others (shame should not be a part of helping a member learn to post or chat within the community guidelines), but they do happen.

DocJohn

[-jimi-]

I've noticed that reporting doesn't change anything. I chose to basically leave chat and I found another chat where people can behave and act supportive. I remember when PC chat was four times as large and was fun, but that is some years ago, things change. I sometimes pop in but it's usually very disappointing.

Life goes on.

[rewin]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

question... do you mean a chat leader (person in charge of the chat taking place) or do you mean a moderator/ administrator (the names in different colors then other members example Sabby, Doc John, fooze, blukoi, have their names in different colors then other members because they are moderators all the moderators names are in a different color than the rest)

Ahm ... there is a third category, which is not yet officialy defined ... chat-only moderators as am I and Tamster.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

its my understanding that anyone can be a chat leader, they do not have to be of modrating/ administrative staff members (the ones in different colors)

As state before, there is a small (to me unknown in regard of size/other members than me an tamster) group that has chat host priviledges just to moderate, not to host chats nor to moderate the forums.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

my understanding is rule infractions are dealt with by the moderators and administrators (the ones in different colors) and they cant do any thing to enforce chat rules if no one is reporting there is a problem. kind of like if you do something wrong no one can do anything about it unless they see it happening and report you for that problem.

suggestion next time it happens and its not a one on one chat between two consenting adults in a private chat room to report the problem to a moderator who's name is in different colors.

As far as I am aware, please anyone correct me if I am wrong, is, that anyone with moderator priviledges (also chathosts) can moderate a room. Such a person is written bold and pinned in an seperate list at the top of the room-list (seperate by being sorted between mods/admins).

Kindest,
rewin

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I've noticed that reporting doesn't change anything. I chose to basically leave chat and I found another chat where people can behave and act supportive. I remember when PC chat was four times as large and was fun, but that is some years ago, things change. I sometimes pop in but it's usually very disappointing.

Life goes on.

I agree. You can report all day and night and still nothing gets done. I hate to say this, but we shouldn't have to come to this (asking why there is no change or improvement) if moderation was done correctly.

[DocJohn]

There's a difference between "doesn't change anything" or "nothing gets done" in the way a certain member wants things to change or get done and, "my perception is that nothing changes or gets done."

We work with members individually and privately every week on problematic issues in chat. Let me assure you that things do "get done" and members do change their chat behavior. Whether it's to the extent of other members' liking or not is beyond our control.

I know the frustration members feel (as I feel it myself sometimes)... Chat is a very different environment than the forums. We do try our best to make it as safe as the forums, but it can be very challenging -- for us all.

[Tamster]

chat has been challenging over the holidays to be certain, and as a moderator i have been put in difficult positions. It is sometimes difficult to know when the best time to step in presents itself. Most all moderating is in pm and members sometimes assume that nothing is being done. Not true, I spend a great deal of time trying to smooth things over and work with members in order to allow the chat to continue without removing anyone. I know the other mods have the same challenges as well. I thank the members and administration for standing with me and working to make chat a safe place to come and be together as a family.
Thanks, Tams

[seesaw]

I must agree with the OP. I see older members, who were around before the sex chat ban, still come in and make completely inappropriate remarks, and there is no mod to help, so I report them each time, and they're still allowed in chat and nothing is done. I honestly see this as a problem with older members who refuse to abide by the sex chat ban, than new members who join the site.

I understand that harmless flirting is okay, but people make suggestive remarks to each other that are out of line. Many of us were abused by predators who started out with such suggestive remarks and it is EXTREMELY triggering. That's why I don't go into Adult Chat ever. But even in the Coffeehouse and sometimes Emotional Support, I am still subjected to this behavior. And if I bring it up, like iPhone and Artchic have said, you get targeted and bullied. If you report it to an admin, you never hear a response and it appears nothing happens to the perpetrators, because the sex talk continues.

I think one solution is that stricter rules need to be in place or the mods need to feel more comfortable kicking people out for such behavior. Because as I understand it, the mods feel like they don't have much power anymore as it is.

Seesaw

[Artchic528]

Add name calling to that list of problems never dealt with. I've tried everything under the sun and then some to stop being called names and it still commenced. Hence why I abstain from chat now a days.

[seesaw]

One more thought: this is a mental health forum, not a sex chat site. IMO, the reason why these people who want to engage in sex chat continue to come here instead of going to a sex chat site is because they are trolls and predators, and there should be no tolerance for their behavior. But that's just my opinion and what I've witnessed.

Seesaw

A few days ago or so, I saw some sexual comments in chat that made me uncomfortable. I brought them to a mod (Tamster) who agreed that it was inappropriate. I trust that she talked to the individual and tried to address the behaviour. I think the mods are doing what they can, but lots of it is stuff that we members don't see. That may give the illusion that absolutely nothing is being done, but I would disagree. I appreciate what the mods have to deal with, and the work that you put in.

[DocJohn]

Sex talk outside of mild flirting is not allowed in the chat rooms, as I've said. We look into all reports and PMs are sent to any member who engages in such behavior. If they do it regularly, they usually will face a suspension of their chat privileges as well as the possibility of losing their membership in our community altogether.

Having said that, though, we also can't micro-manage the chat environment, and can't be responsible for warning every member who makes a single comment in the course of a larger conversation.

But regular violators are people we want to know of through a report. Much appreciated, thank you.

DocJohn

PS - You will not hear back from a team member about what, if any, action is taken against another member -- that is a part of our community guidelines, where we don't discuss administrative actions or other members. All I can tell you is what happens -- reports are taken, transcripts are read, and the team weighs in on what action to take, which ranges from warning PMs, chat suspensions, to losing one's entire membership in the community. We've done it all based upon chat reports.

[Artchic528]

But the repeat offenders AREN'T being banned. They are still being allowed to keep at their offensive behavior. NOTHING is being done, regardless of what has been said. I know you're trying to smooth things over, and make things seem all nice and controlled, but they aren't. Plain and simple.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by seesaw

One more thought: this is a mental health forum, not a sex chat site. IMO, the reason why these people who want to engage in sex chat continue to come here instead of going to a sex chat site is because they are trolls and predators, and there should be no tolerance for their behavior. But that's just my opinion and what I've witnessed.

Seesaw

Yeah, I feel the exact same way. It's very attention seeking, and triggering all at the same time. Also, please don't advise us to "ignore" a member or three because then it's next to impossible to use the chat at all due to missing half of the conversation or something like that.

Bottom line is something needs to change big time. Maybe the whole guideline about discussing others administrative actions has to change. I'm not saying it needs to be made completely public, but perhaps saying to the person who was reporting the matter that so and so was suspended and assuring them it won't happen again is what needs to be said.

I've never been a part of a forum where not even the remotest reassurance that action has been taken was said to the person who was reporting the matter. I feel it's not only common curtesy, but a requirement to ease their mind and show them that there was something being done. This whole forum feels like you're purposefully being kept in the dark. I don't know why, but it feels that way.

[DocJohn]

I'm closing this thread now, because it appears that despite explaining things, I'm still not explaining them well enough for others to understand that, indeed, actions are taken when chat reports are made. (Maybe not the action you or another member wants, but that is up to the team to decide, not individual members.)

Chat is not for everyone. If you don't feel safe or supported in the chat environment, it may not be a place you want to spend much time in.

Thanks,
DocJohn