Client /Therapist relationship

Why is it that we depend so much on our T? Or do you?

Had any transference issues?

Countertransference issues?

I really appreciate how you are stimulating the conversation about complex ptsd.

My understanding is that complex ptsd and bpd share a lot in common, and therefore a lot of the issues that would come up for a person with bpd would also come up for a person with complex ptsd.

I had a long term therapist, 6 years, and at that point in my life that was my longest (healthy) relationship.

I am not sure about any transference or counter transference issues but I do remember my therapist saying to me that he was surprised that I didn't get mad at him very often.

Does this help?

Wasn't really looking for help but just share and discuss our therapy ups and downs. I had one with transference and countertransference and it was a real uncomfortable situation. We ended up talking about them more than my issues, so I ended that situation.

With PTSD and CPTSD we have trust issues. Do you think that stands in the way of therapy?

Ah, sorry, so then was my post useful?

I've had nothing but positive experiences with therapists , which I've been told is highly unusual.

I had a couple of p docs irritate me, one was a dinosaur the other was German but I just saw them for medication.

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Yes, it was useful You are lucky to have such positive experiences with T's. I guess to it depends on where you live and the availability of T's there, especially ones that specialize in Trauma. Most claim they do but have not a clue what CPTSD is.

For me not therapy , but friendships . I think that's the complex part. I'm having a hard time right now because I'm vulnerable.

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Yes I am very lucky, I just looked up my therapist and she works with veterans and specializes in trauma. My therapist actually knows the psychiatrist who diagnosed my complex PTSD.

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Mine are with everyone. And I think it delays the therapy because supposedly there is suppose to be some type of therapeutic relationship between clients and T's.
I've seen people go absolutely nuts when their T goes on vacation. They can not deal with the idea that their T is not available. I guess this situation really made me think about how I would handle therapy. Just look at it as a business transaction, like taking your car to the shop.

Therapy was easy, tbh my most challenging social experience these days can be online support groups/forums/chats, ironically enough.

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That's interesting. But online communication is hard sometimes, harder than f2f. F2F can read the person and get a feeling of how the convo is going. Online, it's a crap shoot if you are going to tick someone off or not. Plus we live in the politically correct society and you never know what might offend them and not a normal person.

In my experience online up to this point online chats can be cliquey however what makes psych central different is the self care strategies and the ignore button which makes it one of the safer places on the Internet. It's one of the only places I can interact with others actually diagnosed with PTSD/complex PTSD.

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I have trust issues with everyone, including my therapist, but it gets better over time. I've known my t for 7 years. In that time, she's shown herself to be someone I can trust to be supportive and professional. I've had some crappy experiences with other T's and mental health "professionals". Generally, the ones experienced and trained in trauma were the better ones.

I've experienced transference in that I expect my t to respond as others have in my life (ie: sometimes I tell her something and am almost positive she is mad at me for it). I've gotten to a point where I am able to ask for a reality check around that, and I work to accept that what she tells me about it is accurate to the moment.

I find I have trouble with T's vacations though. I struggle with the lack of support and change in routine. It bothers me that I look to her for so much support and ability to regulate. I guess in that sense, there's some parental transference at work. While I know how to self-regulate and process things on my own, we've been working on my ability to ask for support when needed. I feel like I've gone from being totally self-reliant to being almost helpless without t's support. I'm slowly learning how to find a happy middle-ground with that. It's a lot harder to learn as an adult though...

I can relate to struggling with online relationships. While "real life" ones cause a lot of anxiety, there's little by way of non-verbal communication to go by when trying to decipher online contact. I can understand that for myself, my mood and level of distraction (work, life, distractions in-the-moment) play a huge role in my ability to connect with others online. For some reason though, I automatically default to people hating me or thinking I'm stupid if their level of contact changes at any point. I pull away and leave it up to them to make the next move. In f2f situations, it's easier to "reality check" around a person's responses. It's easier to see if they are tired or super-busy or distracted by the tv... I've become better at telling myself there's probably something going on with the other person, and it's not that they suddenly hate me/wish me to disappear/think I'm a complete moron. Online, it takes a lot longer to convince myself of that...

I do not find myself dependent on a T.
My approach is to learn principles from a T that I can apply & not to build a close relationship. Frankly going to a T for me is like going to the dentist. I do not like sharp objects in my mouth. I do not care to have a stick poking around in my head. That said both are necessary, but I certainly am not required to like the process. Just the end results.

Will have to agree on this with you

I almost envy that relationship people have with a T. That they feel that comfortable with that person. I could see that happening if you saw a t more than once every month or two. There's nothing wrong with that close relationship as long as you understand they are really not your friend, and they care on a controlled level. My t has the notes from the t that I worked with once a week, before I lost my insurance. Other than that we have not really talked about anything except superficial stuff. Really makes me wonder if it's worth the time.
I had an online t for a while and she was very good at expressing herself in words. That is truly a gift. Can't imagine how hard it would be to counsel someone online. But many have had good results with it.
BTW I think you are far from stupid and I look forward to your posts.

ive been seeing my T for 6 years. we work well together. he is very caring and had gone above and beyond his job duties to help me out. i think the relationship with my T is crucial to my recovery.

my former T me, which contributed to my cptsd.

Wow sorry about that situation. Glad you found a t that you can trust now and is leading you on a path of healing.

I have just started with a new therapist, who seems warm, professional, focussed, and easy to talk with.
I specifically sought out one trained in EMDR, and she is highly experienced in PTSD and c-PTSD. There is a centre near me which is specifially for trauma problems.
I last had therapy around 20 years ago - 3 different ocassions - and am not aware of transference issues.

I have to add to this: my insurance only covers 3 therapy sessions a month and my last session was a double session, first a short family one with my daughter and then a longer one with just me. We discussed the fact that my daughter probably has the seed of bipolar in her and could probably benefit from medication. I'm still in shock. She has an appointment with a pediatric psych next week and I'm apprehensive . She ran away to avoid the first one. Now I find myself keep a weary eye on her watching for signs of depression. She has been diagnosed with a mood disorder NOS by her doc and depression by the ER. My t gave me a list of cognitive distortions , the same one a t gave me back in 2005 but now I find myself thinking about them. One of them I've been working on since I was a teen. Im still in a state of emotional shock, was diagnosed with that on top of the PTSD at the end of June. So yeah I value my time with my t especially since my whole FOO gaslights and bullies me.

I just started watching a show called stranger things and I really identify with the female child protagonist. I may start a thread on her.

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Wow, that is awesome.

Hate to hear that about your daughter. Hope things turn out okay.
I wish I felt that way with my T but honestly I don't really know her with so much time lapse between sessions. I hope the VA gets better about this so that the loss of 22 vets a day will reduce or go away.

I'm sorry trace may I ask about your service?

My d is seeing an older guy and it's driving me nuts. I'm about to tell her dad. He was supposed to call me 30 min ago. The guy is nice but she just started school and she's using him as an escape. It's making me mad. She won't listen to me.

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Ooo doesn't sound good for your daughter but it does sound like a teenager. I did the same thing. I also left home at 16 and never went back.

Wow! Me @ 18.

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