Abandonment

I might be a little late to this party. I have multiple traumas, almost all from childhood. Until I read this article earlier, I assumed I just had a little bit of separation anxiety because...well I have general anxiety anyway. After reading this article, though, I found that there's "post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment". Apparently this is a thing I didn't know existed. Reading all of the characteristics, I don't think I can deny that I have this problem. In fact, it's very much a part of my life that I didn't even see as a problem because it was always just "who I am". Maybe these feelings aren't so normal.

How many others here deal with this? Do these "abandonment issues" heavily dictate your life; have they ever? How do you get past this?

Interesting topic. I agree that when we were kids abandonment seemed like normal everyday life. After all I was okay, had food, clothes, roof over my head, I had everything I needed. Not everything I wanted. But there still was an empty space in my life that I had to fill with something. I even wanted to run away to a children's home just for that companionship.
I think now, with my isolation it seems to be like when I was growing up. Just alone and hoping I don't do something to get into trouble. If someone gets close to me I push them away.
What was the article you read? Would you mind sharing it with us?

BTW you are never late to the party here. We are 24/7 and that's just how we roll

I'd have to find it again. I was obsessing over my severe separation anxiety because it resembles how a child would feel. If I find it again, I'll post a link.

Are you feeling better now? I guess that can go both ways with abandonment. Either hating to be alone or enjoying being alone. Ya know?

Yeah, abandonment. I thought I had BPD for a long time; still kind of do, but my T disagrees, so I defer to her wisdom. Plus, I'm getting to the point where I don't really care what the diagnosis is - as Popeye says "I yam what I yam, and that's alls what I yam."

Abandonment is absolutely the epicenter of my existence. Trace - you're right. I like to be alone, but only when I know there is someone out there. I hate being alone, but I am more comfortable that way (not healthy, just familiar).

I'm going to a bad place, so I'm cutting this short. Late night therapy with Dr. Coors. He's very light and has a bubbly personality, although sometimes he can be a bit bottled up. I think he grew up in the Rocky Mountains...Please tip your servers. I'm here all week.

LOL Parva. Sounds like you have a good choice in doctor's You Dr. Coors is helping you to that bad place, of course you do. Nothing wrong with a drink just not when you already are down. Anything you want to discuss here? "We'll leave the light on for you"
I enjoy being alone, a little too much. I get so wigged out when I think I have to socialize with anyone, even my T. I think I'm actually losing my verbal skills and how to interact with people. But that's okay. Once I win the lottery I will by some land and be a hermit
Be careful and make good choices Parva.

My fiance and I just had an argument ten hours ago about how I "hide away" all of the time. The only time I'm okay with interaction is with a very select few people (I can count them on one hand) and it has to be in an environment I have some control over when it comes to a couple of those. If people knew what went through in my head any other time, they wouldn't torment me like that, unless they're just sick. With my select few, I feel like I worry and need to protect them, way too much. I hate it. It's like I want no relationship or I get too attached to people, most often the former. I just wish I wasn't like this.

This is really interesting, because I wonder if this is a common part of cPTSD. I feel much like you do. I think the core of this is trust, or the lack of ability to find an appropriate level of trust for different people in different circumstances. I just find it's easier to not deal with new people because my assumption is that they'll see how 'disgusting' I am (projection, I know).

I have to think about this; there's a ton mixed into what you're talking about. I really think there are some common threads in cPTSD sufferers, but each with their own unique aspects.

Trace - thanks I ALWAYS make good choices.

This sounds so much like what I would say. The all or nothing game. You are probably a caregiver also. We tend to care for everyone but at a distance, but those we are close to we would walk through fire for and do everything to make them happy. It's a hard game to play but I'm not sure I would be happy any other way. I care about people, not important that they care about me. I'm really not used to accepting care for me. It's hard to protect ourselves and be so open at the same time. Kind of like my signature picture