Arguments with T's

Have you ever had a strong disagreement with a T? How did you resolve it? Or did you?

Sure. A t is not a god or goddess. We can disagree. Their job is to provide us with a different perspective. We have to decide what to do with it. Mine tells me to shush when she wants me to listen and I'm ok with that.

I agree, though some think they are. I think talking it out and seeing what the real issue is is important, but I really think T's should not argue with a client. I feel their training should dictate how they handle conflict with clients. I know they are just human too, but they are held at a higher level of understanding and should be able to calmly explain why they felt this was important.

I have had plenty of disagreements with mine but we always talked them out.Sometimes we had to agree to disagree,but they were always resolved.

We never argued though,just didn't agree on ways that I was handling or dealing with certain situations in my life.He never told me what I should do unless it was something that was harmful to me,like someone abusing me,he wanted me to call the cops and I didn't agree & would get upset for not doing so.

Are you struggling with things that are not being resolved?

There's a couple of things. An ex T and I kind of got into it through email when I was asking questions about the new treatment program I would be going into after the PE sessions ended. I had a lot of questions and she made it clear that she didn't have time to read and respond daily to my emails. Anyway , we argued in several emails after that. Could she have handled that differently? Because I was offended, as a veteran, that a MHP would tell someone they didn't have time to answer their emails, and I voiced that, she got mad and told me that I was being inappropriate. I can't see that ever happening with my current T. She would talk things out and find a resolution to the issue that we both could live with.

Then the other ..the PDOC...put a lot of information in the report that wasn't true, she documented that she asked certain questions and gave me paperwork, neither happened. She typed the entire session and signed off on her report like one minute after I left her office. I don't really care about anything except her remarks about my behavior that were not true. Nothing bad, just not true. I really think she had me confused with someone else.

So now I have two people in the mix who are probably PO'ed at me and may be part of that BHIP team that's going to help decide my next treatment.

It's so confusing when they say voice your concerns and if you feel like you are being wronged, and they failed to mention that excluded the MH staff there.

Ok then never mind, I wasn't talking about anything bad.

Yes, I have. I wanted a new one and she seemed unwilling or unable to listen. We talked things over and in the end, I got a new one and we remained friends.

Sounds like you needed one for sure. T's are just like everyone else, there are some good ones and some not so good ones. Glad you found a good one soon.
Welcome to PC!!

That sounds like an awkward situation to be in.

What impact do you think it will have on your next treatment?

I don't know. I can deal with it other than the PDoc putting false information in my file. I sent the PDoc a letter last week so maybe she can get it corrected.

I think for me, this depends....

I really struggle with conflict. My father used to get angry and SH in front of me and it was fairly terrifying.

So I get quite scared even now, if anyone raises their voice.

However, logically I know, in life, arguing / debating are normal things. So to have an argument/ debate now, is probably good learning for me, in experiencing a safe outcome.

There has to be a distinction between arguing and bullying though.

I agree , there should be a way to resolve with respect. Agree to disagree. especially when it is a MH provider who is well aware of the symptoms the client is dealing with. Maybe arguing was too strong of word. Because I think you should be able to ask questions about you MH program you will be entering, without basically saying I don't have time to answer your questions. I expected more from a MH provider. My bad.

Not your bad at all. I think it is inexcusable, for MH providers, not to fully engage with clients. It's not like they are dealing with a disease or a physical health problem, that maybe can be treated in isolation of the person. CPTSD is about the person, it can't be separated and treated as a bunch of symptoms (IMO).

I refused to engage with MH services for a long time, because of their approach. Eventually with encouragement from my T, I did see a doctor and I was fortunate, that I did feel he treated me as a person. I was referred to other MH services and was treated really badly. I never went back.

I think you were entitled to ask as many questions as you wanted and it was poor practice to be told they did not have enough time to answer them.

That's the way I felt, it's my future and I want to know what the plans are in the MH realm. This is through the VA and Vets already have a bad opinion of the VA from their neglect. But I was trying to be open minded about the process. But when she said that it flew all over me that she was probably talking to other veterans the same way, making them ashamed for speaking up and wanting to know about their treatment. Then to try and turn it around and say I was being inappropriate? No. I hope I never have to deal with her again but I probably will. There will be major trust issues there, so if that happens I will try to get another T. Before this when I was seeing her every month to 2 months for a session we had issues. I was in a fog, confused, not ever really been to therapy, so very anxious and scared as well. When I would come in and she would ask what I wanted to talk about...I didn't know what to say. So she would end the session and set me up for the next month or two month session. My T now has the skills to help me get unstuck with talking and asks questions that I can't give a yes or no to all the time. To me that's a sign of a good T. Once I leave her I intend on writing a letter to VA explaining what a good therapist they have, or maybe I shouldn't do that. It may work against me and they move her somewhere else. Maybe a letter just to her. Anyway, thanks for listening and for the support.

I don't think just anyone can study to be a T and be a successful one. It takes someone who can really hear, not just listen and someone patient, who knows how tough it can be to talk. I know for me, it'seems hard to talk, sometimes due to shame, other times because my head is a whiring mess, or because I just don't have the words to describe how I feel.

A letter to her, sounds like a nice thing to do, I'm sure for good T's their work goes beyond just money.

They are human and just like any job, some are good at what they do and some not so much. Sometimes we are just stuck

Seems like a lottery. You really won't know what you have until you try one.

LOL like that box of chocolates

Yes, as in Forrest Gump...

Yep, for sure It is important though to find the right T to handle your needs. Finding a good trauma T is like spotting Big Foot, they all say they can handle it but once you get into it you see they can't.

I have had to ask for a different T on occasion. As I have heard it "Some can't cut it."

I think most can handle single traumas, but when it comes to CPTSD that's a whole new game for them. Since it's not in the DSM training is probably not really required, though I think a lot are seeing CPTSD more often and are seeking training on their own. There is a subsection of PTSD in the DSM that would cover multiple traumas though.